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About RockWithTheCaveman

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    Ball Boy

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    In a cave, Paisley

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  1. Thoroughly enjoyed Wednesday's game as it has been sorely missed whilst working away these last few years. Good to see faces old (Mr Zo) and new. Been playing 5s / 6s down south and took a bit of getting used to the bigger pitch... well, that's my excuse for some awful passing! I didn't score (mainly because big Mark is a greedy big b******!) but did assist a few in what ended up in a win for us bibs. Thanks to Callum G for facilitating and "Roberto" for dropping out to allow me a place - much appreciated, dudes. Looks like I'll be finishing 2018 with a 100% win record...
  2. Ladies, gentlemen and others, feast your eyes on these: http://www.footballkitnews.com/category/scottish-premier-league/ Edit: not our kit(s).
  3. 5th of March 2014. One hundred and eighty-nine days. 189. One hundred and eighty-nine days since I was last able to grace the hallowed artificial turf. It was good to catch up with old and new faces alike and adorn my favourite non-grass surface once more. As a bibbed playa (bitches!), the result (kinda gave up counting) was not positive. Despite both sides perhaps appearing to be evenly matched ‘on paper’, the non-bibs ran out comfortable winners in the end. And about ten minutes in too, really, despite 2-5 becoming 5-6 during a ten-minute spell about halfway through. It’s disappointing that fouls are no longer called, with many not even acknowledging them. Indeed, for the game’s opener, big Mark decked me, took the ball and finished with a neat shot that went in off the woodwork with a satisfyingly metal “PING”. Sounds like i'm moaning... well, I am! Pat Nevin might have offered further post-match analysis such as the non-bibs were more incisive in the final-third, made the most of their opportunities (particularly on the counter-attack), defending and attacking as a team to deliver a robust unit tactically. The football pundit may have described the endeavors of the bibs team as not working the channels enough, with poor decision making and communication in all areas of the pitch contributing to their downfall. I was as culpable as any bibbed man, and I do apologise for not having learned telepathy – yet! Billy Dodds may have commented that the ball was round. Zo showed that he’s still got bags of energy and a good burst of pace over three yards despite nearing his mid-forties ; big Mark’s juggernaught style led to him scoring a good few goals, but missing many, many more with his increasingly erratic shooting; Brian C and big Stef read the game well at the back, with the latter a revelation in his new non-wide left role; big Fraser holding the ball up well at times and the left-footed and slight-built young man on the bibs who could beat men at will but couldn’t finish a dinner of half a McD’s french fry. MOTM? Wee Sean for his box-to-box (Giggity) performance all night. A special mention to all who continue to make this event happen. Unfortunately, I’ll be working away for the remainder of the year at least, so see you all at the games cheering on the Saints or next year. Ps the burn in my calves from cramp after three games in three nights explains this ungodly hour. <- never used that emoticon... COWABUNGA!
  4. Or, a solution might be to get referees who can administer more consistent, and correct, decision-making. The difficulty is, Jim Goodwin's challenges appear to based on his reputation, as opposed to the actual challenge / foul, a la the Hibs red card you reference. The referee yesterday doesn't make eye contact when 'explaining' the yellow cards. Make of that what you will, but, to me, suggests that he lacks the conviction in his decision making. As someone earlier alluded to, Keith Lasley and John McGinn committed more fouls than anyone else on the park. A St Mirren cup winner, and captain no less, isn't a club legend? Ok And yet, worse challenges do not meet the same severity of punishment. This is not Jim Goodwin's fault. The challenge itself is one that you'll see many times in Scotland's top flight and go unpunished; the fact that no Motherwell players, given who made the challenge, didn't claim speaks volumes for me. As I said earlier, that was tried at Carlisle and was a disaster! Overreact much?!
  5. Notwithstanding the fact that Jim Goodwin is a cup-winning captain, the team is better with him in midfield, doing the dirty work. Great example is how poor John McGinn was at Carlisle without him there, and how well he played yesterday. Forums such as this are good to promote people's opinions and stimulate debate, so mine is that this thread and some of the comments within are absolutely cringeworthy. It is bad enough that Jim Goodwin is targeted by opposition fans, players and even, it would appear, officials without his own 'supporters' turning on him at every opportunity. Perhaps we'd be happier if Jim Goodwin was as cute as Keith Lasley, making the most of any contact, time wasting, etc. His cheating yesterday was blatant, but poor, weak officiating saw him almost coast through the game without fear of action being taken against him. Everyone is disappointed about yesterday's result but to single out one player is ridiculous - why not a 'Greg Wylde Liability' thread, given that his final ball - if decent - would've won us the game quite comfortably, or how he missed that chance when clean through? I'm not advocating this thread to be created, fwiw. Let's look at the positives - we played good football, were solid and comfortable for the most part and had 20 efforts on goal. Keep the faith, Buddies, and let's smash this mob from Hamilton!!.
  6. Zo - have you actually seen her? Not sure i'd go easy, or otherwise, on her at all...!! (sorry, Chris, merely 'banter')
  7. A jam-packed midweek International football calendar occurred last night, and coincided with my return to the B&WA 8s fold at The Thunderdome* after a few weeks away, where I lined up in the bright tangerine of the oldies. Oh the humanity! However, and given that the youngsters’ goal was in semi-darkness owing to temporary ‘floodlight failure’, this was perhaps apt as Mr Zo and I discussed the merits of us oldies swapping ends, given that we couldn’t really see the goals we were ultimately aiming for… And to kick off! The oldies started stronger, and this was demonstrated consummately as Brian C burst down the right wing in the first few minutes, before arching over the most delicious of crosses for me to run on to and volley home without breaking stride – a move that could have been given a monetary value by art historians, such was its simple-yet-breathtaking beauty. And breathtaking it must have been… … as the next ten minutes or so saw the youngsters take control of the game with more incisive passing (Dougiy et al) and finishing (particularly big Mark and big Fraser) than that on show from their more senior cohorts, who struggled to get anywhere near the ball. The oldies played as if they had one eye on a big cup tie at the weekend, where simple passes failed to find their targets and the final ball in the opposition territory never appeared to cause any hurt to the youngsters' goal. Big Ian B and I feckin’ up a 2 v 1 sums this up as his pass to me for a tap in fell just behind me, and as I stopped to readjust I lost my footing, slicing the ball over the bar from about three yards out. The oldies did have their moments, just not enough of them. The youngsters ran out comfortable winners in the end, and what is apparent is that there is good camaraderie throughout the squad and the game is played akin to swimming in Highland Park and Talisker (in good spirits…). On a personal note, my neck is still in absolutely agony today after my sweeper-keeper antics involved breaking up an attack and setting up one, only for an attempted block on my forward pass resulting in my head cushioning the fall of the opposition (name?). So, to MOTM no real stand outs from the oldies unfortunately, which is not surprising given the crushing defeat. Luke in goals was again outstanding, and the attacking players banging in the goals left, right and centre would also have been worthy nominees. The writer’s vote goes to Mark K who broke up attack after attack, and always picked out a pass. He could’ve played with that favourite of the Cuban cigar portfolio, a Montecristo No. 2, such was his performance level, and it appears to have been backed up in Teamer given his 4 votes from 8 thus far. Well played!! *Teamer venue change from The Feegiedome
  8. So, last night saw my welcome (in my opinion… ) return to the infamous Black & White Army 8-a-side arena, and was also my first game this year in Scotland. The ball was an official Euro ’12 Tango match ball but, unfortunately, was a little on the soft side. And so, to the game… the ball was kicked deep in to the half defended by the bibs (who started off with 7) and I sent it back with the game’s first shot on goal; a shot on target well saved by the non-bibbed goalkeeper. A sign of things to come for not only me, but the rest of those adorned by bright orange. The bibs were not the only eye-catching attire on display with big Mark’s size further embellished by this season’s third kit in its entirety (it was difficult to ‘mark’ him without sunglasses), an Adelaide Crows Aussie rules kit ( ) and Richard’s Darth Vader / Batman tribute to arm armour. The non-bibs took the lead ten minutes in, just as a eighth bibbed-player took to the pitch, and a lead by a few goals was soon established – their defensive robustness accentuated by the physical presence of Messrs Montgomery, Hanley and Zo, which provided the counter-attacking platform for big Mark, big Ian and Brian C. However, the lead at this stage was primarily due to the high goal / shot ratio – the bibs had peppered the opposition goal with shots which were just missing the target, being heroically-blocked or brilliantly-saved. Some of my team appeared to play with a paint brush and palette in their hands, such was the flair and artistry of the football at times. The game continued in this custom but goals were then scored by both sides with more frequency. Goal of the game was scored by Ian Craig (thanks, REA) of the bibs* when he curled one from the 20 yards out on the left right in to the postage stamp. The consensus at full-time was that the score was level, perhaps a fair reflection of the game. MOTM? A few performances merit a mention, but for some spectacular saves and blocks that would make a Fuji Tree Frog yoga-enthusiast look on incredulously, and for good, early distribution, my nomination goes to the bibbed goalkeeper Luke. Well played, sir! I had quite the swollen ankle after the game (historic chocolate ankle) but thanks to the miracles of modern-day science-in-sport, I was able to temper the swelling. That is, Quorn ‘mince’ was used instead of frozen peas…
  10. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush....
  11. #agameoftwohalves #teamspirit #wooft The night kicked off in the Bull Inn, and was fairly respectable, good-mannered and well behaved. With Dr ( ) Zo and I returning to the line up, the over thirties beat their young counterparts with regards to attendance. Undoubtedly, the highlight of the early exchanges was the squad photograph taken with the first player ever to score in European competition for our beloved Buddies*: someone get that image posted! Migrating to the Bankhouse for the cup final dvd night was great tactical change (kudos to big Fraser) and everyone was positive about all things black and white. Seeing the cup final images had everyone grinning from ear-to-ear, with the copious consumption of beer, really adding to the festive cheer. Just like the games, big Stef was always on my left… Paddy’s was next, and primarily chosen to see the table at the window where God and I signed on the Monday after St Mirren’s day – sadly, the relics of graffiti history were no more. The atmosphere there failed to capture the team’s spirit so… … the remainder of the game was then played out in Kilty’s, where a local hairdresser’s Xmas night out added to the entertainment. Hugh Jackman lookalike and local heartthrob Gordon catching the eye (amongst other body parts…) of an attractive and somewhat leggy blonde. Being made of ice, the man did not yield to her obvious advances. It was Kilty’s where someone (probably one of the whippersnappers, irvine_buddie or neilpar72) thought Aftershocks were a good idea – wooft! The night was much louder from then on, probably on a decibel level akin to big Alan’s shirt… Absolutely top night, everyone getting on brilliantly – there’s a real team spirit in that changing room. MOTM? I can’t give to any individual as everyone played their part in a top, top performance so it’s a shared nomination amongst all who showed up– well played, lads *for those without Google, it was Douglas McKenzie Somner
  12. After an enjoyable and compelling hour of football, a bibless B&WA 8s Young Team were dispatched by an over 30s side last night, which, almost inconceivably given my baby-faced handsomeness, contained me… The Overs had the better of a quiet opening period, with ball retention and easy baws the name of the game, particularly from Messrs Casey, Brown and Zo. Big Mark Logan was the difference with his strong and direct running. I previously referred to him as a battering ram, which I realise now was unjust – he’s more like a juggernaught! The Young Team began to pose more of a threat when big Fraser Burns was pushed up front, giving the previously comfortable back 2/3/4/5/6 some problems, particularly with the talented Nicky driving forward in support. The game became more stretched and individual errors and misplaced passes were occurring more frequently, but this only added to the undoubted spectacle. Personally, I was disappointed not to score with the few chances I had, but pleased that I was like a very poor man’s Mesut Ozil with several assists. My favourite goal last night was when my in-swinging corner was flicked on at the near post and big Stef found himself unmarked at the back stick, with a unique stand-on-the-ball finish that crept over the line. I voted Mark Logan as MOTM, just edging out Nicky. My vote was the sixth and quite interesting to see five different players nominated for this prestigious award. Well played, everyone!! ‘mon the auld yins!! Sadly, I return to work next week in Southern Scotland so unlikely to grace the astroturf again anytime soon...
  13. Regarding the vocal dissent, and bearing in mind i've not played attended for a few weeks, it's a shame if that is creeping in to what is a thoroughly enjoyable hour of footie. I'd say Div is the most vocal when venting frustrations, but never in a personal or derogatory way. He's also very critical of himself, as some of the saves he makes are in the "Unbelievable, Jeff" category, but - as you allude to above - he'll then produce a moment of outstanding comedy. On to next week's game and I have now accepted my teamer invite. I can only express my delight at being involved again by quoting those comedy greats, Homer Jay Simpson and Glenn Quagmire: Woo-hoo! I'm in, giggity, giggity, giggity!!
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