TPAFKA Jersey 2

No you didn’t. You had to be 21. So in answer to your original question, yes, Stubbs signed at least 4 Colts. Coulson, Willock, Heaton and Jones. All were 21 or under at the start of this season. https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/sport/amp/football/44637344

Wendy making a right arse of himself on this thread. Showing an almost StuDesque lack of ability to admit he’s made an arse of it.

How do you translate "Israel are rank rotten" into "Scotland are brilliant"? Odd statement. If FS thought Scotland were brilliant and Israel were rank rotten, then I'd suggest he'd be predicting a much larger scoreline than 0-2. But don't let the facts stand in the way of an opportunity to have a typically Scottish view of the Scottish national team. Israel are indeed rank rotten. I reckon Avi Cohen and Ronnie Rosenthal could still get a game for them. I expect what I regard as a half decent Scotland team to beat them. 1-2 or 1-3.

Correct on both counts. And of course United current form suggests they are as unlikely to overtake Ayr, as we are to overtake Hearts,

That little theory has cheered me right up. I'm now thinking that with a mere 5 wins, we can overtake Hearts! Magic!!

Ha ha. I love the “forget the whataboutery”. I think you’ll find the best way to forget the whataboutery is to not even mention the whataboutery! Also managed to shoe horn in a wee “no one likes us we don’t care” comment. This statement is the absolute bare minimum that should be expected.

Yes that’s correct Oaky. All people who work in the Finance Industry are thieving, conniving, money grabbing excuses for human beings. From Ross McEwan right down to wee Jeanie the cashier at the Lochinver branch of RBS. All total scumbags. FFS!

No no Oaksoft, I’m not disagreeeing with the methodology you describe (well maybe one little bit) it’s more the level of return you describe. The bit I do disagree with you on is that capital growth cannot be compounded. it’s simply reflected in the overall value of your investment and can go up as well as down. Also nothing wrong with describing dividend as income. That’s exactly what it is but it is definitely not interest. Anyway the point I was trying to make is that this dividend or income is the only reinvestable part and that in a average portfolio of equities it would never generate an INCOME return of 5%. That anticipated overall growth of 5% would be spilt something more like 4% capital and 1% income. Only that 1% would be reinvestable.

No mate. All you’ve shown here is that you don’t know the meaning of equity multiple. As I clearly said, It is not a timebound calculation. It relates to the amount you get back versus the amount you put in. So if I put in £1m and got back £1m I’d be getting back 100% of what I’d put it in and therefore an EM of 1x. £3m would be 300% of what I’d put in. EM of 3x. Therefore over 10 years a rudimentary return of 10% per annum. No concept of compounding.

No mate. The types of funds I deal with have two main measures of performance. Equity Multiple and IRR (internal rate of return). Equity multiple is just a straight calculation of “how much did I put in versus how much did I get back”, regardless of timescale. So in other words in the example I gave, the investor would have invested say £1m and got £3m back. IRR is a much more complicated calculation which incorporates the period of time that the investors money has been tied up for. At the outset investors only make a commitment to the Fund Manager for a certain amount. No money changes hands at that point in time. The FM will only drawdown that capital from investors in tranches as and when he sources investments. Those assets are then worked and sold off with the proceeds being distributed back to investors there an then. The length of time it takes to flip an asset varies massively and that’s what drives IRR. The type of investment I think you are talking about, more of a retail type investment plan based on a portfolio of equities, wouldn’t pay “interest” as such as it would be more geared towards capital growth than income. It would probably pay a modest dividend which the investor could choose to reinvest in the way you suggest. That say 5% growth that we were talking about though would mainly be capital growth and therefore wouldn’t be compounded. It would just simply be growth of your initial stake, and of course that 5% could just as easily be lost the following year, depending on the track record of the fund manager. The only portion that would be compounded would be the dividend portion and that would typically be a lot less than 5%. If equities oaid a dividend of 5% we’d all be investing in them.

I read modest as “the least you could expect” or a “conservative estimate”.

Also in my opinion I wouldn’t say 5% was a modest return in a mainstream, not cautious not aggressive scheme, I’d say it was possibly average or in some cases above average.

No what I meant was that a 20 year investment in let’s say a mainstream equity portfolio would not have a club like St. Mirren competing with the best in the country. In terms of the types of Funds I lend to, an exceptional return would maybe be a 3x equity multiple over maybe a 10 year cycle. So obviously 300% (obvs 30% pa) is a big number but these are institutional investments with massively risky strategies. Don’t get me wrong, back the right fund manager with a good track record and it should be fairly safe, but you can’t rock up with £50k and say I’ll have a bit of that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that this sort of investment generally is probably not suitable for a football club!

So the rest of the ideas are better than Oaky's then? Ha ha. No, I reckon Oaky’s is still the best idea. I just don’t think it will make the returns he suggests. We’d definitely end up with more money than we started with though!

I love that quaint old term Oaky “investing in Stocks and shares”. It’s so old fashioned. My job is lending money to private equity and real estate funds. These alternative investment funds which are relatively high risk may (just may) return the sort of upside you refer to. A bog standard investment in a “stocks and shares” investment scheme would not yield anything like the sort of return over the 10/20 year timescale you describe unless it was either an extremely aggressive high risk scheme and you got lucky, or there was a significantly positive market event. You are of course right that such an investment (barring disaster) should result in a better return than sticking your wedge in the bank, but you certainly wouldn’t be making sufficient a return to compete at the level you suggest.

Aye ye said that already. You got a stutter?

Aye and just had a man sent off tae! That’ll no help!

Ha Ha. Cheers mate. The wee man had some belting tales. Leaving Terry Cooper on his arse several times during a pre season friendly against Leeds Utd and telling him that if he was the best left back England had, then they must be in a bit of trouble. I loved that. He also trained with St. Mirren before signing for Morton and had very nice words to say about the St. Mirren squad In the late 60s, especially Denis Connaghan. The reason he played so few games with Morton is because he was taken down to Huddersfield for a trial and was offered a contract. However he decided against moving his wife and one year old daughter (my wife) down to England at that time. He decided (given there was no money in football then) to go back to the tools and made a fine career as a pump engineer. However, not before letting Frank Worthington take him out on the lash. Davie said Frank was an absolute class act and treated him brilliantly. I didn’t miss the opportunity to tell Davie that a Frank Worthington inspired Bolton Wanderers got gubbed off the Murn. God bless ye wee man.

If true, Kyle becoming a bit of a sick note.

Thanks mate. Really appreciate the kind thoughts as well as the info. Shitty time for all concerned but the point of this thread obviously wasn’t to seek sympathy (shit happens regularly), it was more just to express my annoyance at Morton for ignoring my email and to seek views as to whether I was overreacting just because it’ an upsetting time. And nothing to do with the fact it was Morton. Could’ve been any club. I guess I’m just coming from the premise that manners cost nothing. Not even really about Davie.

Thanks mate. Yes, he was indeed a tricky winger apparently. My sister in law has a really cool picture of him ghosting past Sandy Jardine.

Yeah I don’t know mate, I was asking where you got the info from? I’d be interested to know. I don’t know , I suppose I understood your point as being if he only played 14 games, that why they haven’t responded, which I would say is bollocks. A simple statement on a website costs nothing, let alone a response to an effin email. Maybe I misunderstood you. I’ve had a couple of drinks.

Appreciate the suggestion Shull, but nah I wouldn’t go to those levels. If the club aren’t interested that’s fine. I just thought it would be a nice wee touch, but it’s not the end of the world. I guess.

Sorry Shull. Where are you getting the 14 games from?

Ha Ha.A classic Oaksoft challenging response. Ok....I’m annoyed for a couple of reasons. I work for a large financial institution and I’m client facing. If I received an email from one of my clients and didn’t respond within 48 hours with at the very least some sort of acknowledgement, I’d seriously not be doing my job properly. The only difference is that the email I’d have received would have been some boring inconsequential shite, but I’d still have responded. Swap large financial institution for piss ant, no mark football team which probably has email traffic on a daily basis of a pretty light volume, I feel like I could have expected a response within 48 hours. But mainly I’m just annoyed because my father in law who I loved has died.