wee-mad-bud-yoobi

Michael Renfurm Graeme Fenton Moussa Steve Archibald Paeslack

Ross Tokely Owen Coyle Paul Hartley Barry Ferguson Alan Main

A Scottish football widow was annoyed at her husband. "Your whole life is football football football! We never go out! You're either at a match or u r watching one on the telly or down at the pub discusing footy wae your mates. I bet you don't even no the date we got married" "Sure a do it wiz the day St.Mirren beat Aberdeen in the quarter finals o' the cup

a woman opened her door to a charity worker who said " Hello there. I'm collecting for the home for the drunks. Could you contribute something please. " "Certainly dear, Just wait untill he puts on his jacket"

A tramp had a trick he once played on all the farmer's wives. He would ring the door and with some dryed up cow pat in his arms he would say Can you give me 2 bits of bread a cin eat this wae. And all the farmer's wives took him in and gave him a proper meal. One day however it is a farmer that answers the door . The tramp says his line Can i hiv 2 bits of bread to eat this with. The farmer says man you cant eat that , ci mon roon the back and i'll get you a nice fresh one

At a queue outside a football match there is a policewoman on patrol on a horse. For a laugh the guy shouts up tae her gonna move yer horse it's drippin wae sweat. The policewoman who had heard this before laughs it off and says I and you would be drippin wae sweat if it wiz you between ma leg's ! Now move

what do u get if a dwarf falls into a cement mixer? A wee Hard man