thepaisleypanda

Cant believe I lowered myself to contribute to that thread!!!

Yip! Do you remember walking up Moss St after a game, & the classified results were on 23 tellies? Then (more than once) some jobsworth woud deliberately turn them off to get rid of the 25 or so folk at the window? (Vowed as a spotty 14 year old never to buy a tell from there - & never did!)

I feel you missed my point? Yes, the inevitable comes to all of us (at some point,) however, I was suggesting that it couldve been anyone of "US" on our way to Love St / NSMP of a Saturday, on a journey we do as routine. (In some ways - a fitting way perhaps!)

Nice one!! You know, whether you knew Derek / SFS or not - it makes you think: It couldve been any one of us on our way to Love St / NewSMP of a Saturday, we have done it so often. SMTID mate

Know the face, but not the man. Had many a good banter on here with him over the last few years! Very sad to hear about this!

you look even better behind a keyboard!! Can we ask heartsparkdollarsign to help with the promotion??

Let face reality here. The SPL wont even let you post fixtures on a Scottish football website - what chance have have we got?

Is Millen playing again??

Animated too!

Kindly explain what inspired you to start this thread??

Was that no Sally Mcnair? works with FS reading the news on reporting Scotland now - think she was on the open bus through the town that night too - but my menory of that day is a bit blurred!

The Bathtub Test During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes beside him. He turned to look, and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path, but when he looked over his should he saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over and tried to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with one massive paw and raising the other one to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!" Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest fell silent. As a bright light shone on the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others that I don't exist, and credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you now expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I now to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light. "I know it would be hypocritical of me to suddenly as you to treat me as a Christian now. But perhaps you could make this bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. The bear dropped its raised paw, brought both paws together in front of it, bowed its head and spoke: "Lord bless this food which I am about to receive from Thy bounty. Amen."

Nope, but, when I do, I find a wee Viagra pill does the trick!

Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight. She was from Quality Street, he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum. He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said. I'm the one with the nuts, he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way. They checked in to a hotel and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and Miss Rowntree shaked her Tic Tacs for him. Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a magic moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed a Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper! Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel. Sadly, 3 days later his Magnum lolly started to drip. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had Allsorts!!!

Get real! - the big man played a blinder at Fir Park!

Is that the old Beefeater place at the old Canal St station?

It was TOP five youu were meant to pick!!!

Lets hope the new licensee gets some decent draught beer in then - at the moment its rank! (IMHO)

sorry - I'll remember to trawl through 16 pages next time before I post anything!

A man walks into a pub with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the bar. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the bar as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart! "Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here. Rub it." So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. "I will grant you one wish. Just one wish...each person is only allowed one!" The bartender gets really excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!" A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming! The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks." "No shit!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

A woman was in town on a shopping trip She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third everything had just been reduced to £5, when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible. As she hung up she realised she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful cake slice complimentary from the lastshop. She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished because it will be more than likely the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require around the clock care. And you'll now be his carer!" The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed. The doctor then chuckled and said, "I'm just pulling your leg. He's deid! What'd you buy?"

It wasnt getting in at all most of Thurs - but was working by mid-afto & seems ok today, phew!!

Anyone else having a problem accessing Yahoo mail (UK) ? Or have the interweb polis at my work caught up with me?

Does Suburbia have any tellies for the FAc uo final? I cant remember!