Hendo

This is pish

I bet that ruined their day

I think Mr Scanlon's comments can be disregarded, as I believe he was banned from Leeds games for most of the time Harte was playing for them I'll say again, if he can stay fit and get a run of games, this is a fantastic signing - when was the last time we signed a player with 64 caps for a decent international team? While I note the comment about him being awful playing for Blackpool against Wolves, that was his first game in ages - he's had a month of first team football in the Championship since then.

Absolutely stunned by this, if he can stay fit this will be a great signing Is he eligible to play on Saturday?

The police have warned tonight that motorists should avoid Greenock and Port Glasgow. Nothing to do with the weather, they just think you should avoid going there.

The Earl of Cranby was infamous around the time that Paisley was being dubbed the "murder capital" of Europe. I remember one Friday night, a guy being stabbed in it and subsequently dying. The next week, some jakkie stopped the music and asked for everyone to have a minutes silence for the deceased. After about two seconds, the silence was broken as someone shouted "f*ck off, i never liked the c*nt". Looking back, I do question why I was there to witness this, as now there'd be nae chance of me going back to a pub seven days after someone had been killed there.

Thats the one, though not being a resident of Paisley any more didn't know it had burned down. Maybe i should order the PDE and then be at least guaranteed to get all the Paisley news three days late.

Ah, Langs, the pub with the trough below the bar, so that jakkies could do a pee without having to go to the toilet (I've been assured that only happened in olden days, though I'm not so sure). My favs are still the Bull and Paddy's, also liked Make for the Border, and the Art Centre in the early 90's. The Clubhouse was good, but not strictly a boozer, more a club, so not sure that counts. Plus walking up the stairs to the toilets was always a bugger when you were pished. The Cellar / Pats was also good in the early 90's, and the Bar Point was the only decent pub in the whole West End of Paisley (especially when Pierro was the owner and they had live comedy on every Saturday night).

The bi-sexual pal was also female just in case there's any confusion

And there was also the time that the same girlfriend as mentioned above brought her bi-sexual pal back and suggested a 3some, but I didn't take them up on it cos I thought she was taking the piss. And cos I thought George McNeilage might have planted a camera somewhere.

I was once caught in the middle of shagging my then girlfriend by her seven year old daughter. Quickest loss of an erection I've ever had. The wean spent the next three weeks blackmailing us so she wouldn't tell her dad, so she did quite well out of it A few weeks later, I was on some social work training pish where they were going on about how often children that social workers work with have witnessed sexual behaviour that they shouldn't have. I decided that was not the right moment for self-disclosure

Does anyone remember a French teacher called Mrs McLaurin at PGS? She hated me, used to pick on me in class and was one of the reasons I still can hardly speak a word of French. Still, I heard some years later that she'd had a nervous breakdown, so at least the story has a happy ending

No way should Corbett have ever been allowed near kids. He hated children. I cheered when I heard he died too, and normally I wouldn't wish anyone dead. I remember he called me into his office when I was in 5th year, just after the exams. Told me I was a waster and would never amount to anything. And here I am, still living in Paisley and a social worker. He might have been a bastard but at least he was good at seeing into the future

I went to Ralston. Scary place, inhabited by big spinsters who hated children, Miss Craig, Miss Boyd etc. Remember in P 7 we were going on a school trip to London. They wanted us all to wear kilts for the entire trip. None of us wanted to, until they said if we didnt, we'd all have to wear short trousers. Sadistic bastards.

Broonie's camp? I heard they both went camping together, only no tents were involved ...

1. The Croft 2. Buchanans 3. The Turf 4. The Alamo 5. Any in the west end (apart from the one that used to be the Bar Point, but no idea what its like just now)

I have to totally agree, which is why I went for the semi-final win in my top five, as it was only true buds that were there that day. After the final whistle in the cup final, it really took the edge of the day, watching so-called fans celebrating, when most of them not only didn't support st mirren but followed one of the old firm.

Who is Nichelle Nichols?

1. 2-1 win at Ayr to clinch promotion, 2000; 2. 4-2 win v Celtic when Ian Scanlon scored from the half way line, think it was about 1983; 3. 2-1 win v Hearts in Scottish Cup Semi-final, 1987; 4. 2-1 win at Raith in 2000 when we scored two in the last three minutes; 5. A 2-1 defeat to Rangers in the second leg of a League Cup semi-final in 1982, I think, when Rangers only won through a dodgy penalty, and one not given to us after Colin Jackson scythed down Lex Richardson in the box, plus countless other shocking decisions too numerous to mention. From that moment on, my hatred of all things Rangers and nearly al referees was borne.

Difficult to name a top five, but :- 1. Cheers (simply cos it was consistently funny over a long period of time, can't remember a bad episode); 2. Blackadder; 3. The Office; 4. Little Britain (don't care what anyone says, I still think it's funny); 5. Not the Nine O'Clock News. Fawlty Towers, I'm Alan Partridge, Father Ted are all up there too.

I have loads of pet hates, but one in particularly at the moment - The eejits in the council who decided to install a set of traffic lights at the bottom of Lacy Street on Glasgow Road. I can understand the need for a pedestrian crossing, given the fact there are three schools nearby, but what is the reason for stopping the traffic on glasgow road to allow the usual dribble of cars from lacy street into glasgow road? Other than at 8.45 - 9 am and 2.45 - 3 pm, that street is never busy! The result has been major congestion, and an increase in time for me getting onto the motorway from my house from 5 minutes to about 12. Idiots.

Think we're getting a wee bit off topic. My top five - 1. Holiday reps (i'm not four years old and don't need someone to organise my day for me); 2. Alcoholics (including those who go to the football and make an arse of themselves, especially those that sit RIGHT BEHIND ME); 3. Maggie Thatcher (is she not dead yet?); 4. Born again Christians (especially those that stand on street corners trying to convert people); 5. Traffic cops who pull law-abiding motorists, who already have nine points, over for ALLEGEDLY going through a red light when the lights were clearly still at amber.

I remember that game too, it was about 1981 I think? R u sure it was fitzy that did that though, i thought it was alec beckett? Also remember a game v Motherwell in the mid 80's weather had been bad all game but with 20 minutes to go there was a hailstorm, I remember Stevie Clarke trying to take a throw-in with great difficulty because the hail was going straight at him. Unlike more recent st mirren teams (the current lot excepted) of course, who found great difficulty in taking throw ins in perfect weather conditions.

Sara Gilbert? What a waste. Unless she swings both ways and does threesomes.

Have to agree with Chico's point about players coming back in the afternoon. Not sure if we do that or still adopt a part-time atttitude, in at 10, away by 1 and off 2 play golf or home to watch the early edition of neighbours. If i did that, dont think i'd b in a job 4 long. In particular, we should have the entire midfield in learning how to pass and cross the ball, especially corcoran, who looks like a player if he can get his delivery right. I think the squad we have has potential, but a number of players just need 2 work harder at improving.