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Posts posted by Bill Lees
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Aye, that's why i voted BNP in another thread, ye tool !
You forgot your white hood.....
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American
French
German
any Eastern European
So basically, it's foreign then, is it? You can't stand any bloody foreigners. Chuffin hell.
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Holyrood style fannies who say 'Scoddish' instead of 'Scottish'.
Do you know who is the worst culprit for this? Billy bloody Connolly. The Big Yin himself. Tosser that he is.
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And West Midlands must be an acquired taste.
I have to agree. I've still not acquired the taste after 23 years in Brum - even though it - or something very like it - was probably good enough for Wullie Shakespeare and his mates.
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Feeling rather daring, a grey-haired old lady goes into a tattoo parlour. "I want a picture of Frank Bruno on my inner left thigh and a picture of Mike Tyson on my inner right thigh." she says to the tattooist.
When he's finished, she looks at her new tattoos. Disgusted, she complains, "These are rubbish! I want to see the manager."
The manager comes out from the back of the shop and asks, "What seems to be the problem, madam?
"I wanted a tattoo of Frank Bruno and Mike Tyson, as they're both heroes of my younger days, but these don't look like either of them!"
The manager steps back to take a look. "Yes, madam, you're right, they don't. But the one in the middle is definitely Don King."
Hmmmm seems familiar. Didn't I hear the same joke but featuring Danny McGrain sometime recently?
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how is it racist?
It's not - in the slightest. It's just Bill being "provocative".
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An... it's... ooooooh.. burr Ah'mmmma.... loooooohongin furra mah ain foooo-ollk
one singer, one song, pulllleeeeze....
Gaun yirsel' !!
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Then he says........................................
"Been for a sh!te then?"
I've always liked that joke......
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The Rivaldo : When the ball is kicked towards you by an opposing player and hits on the thigh, fall to the ground clutching your face as if mortally wounded, then watch in satisfaction as the gullible ref red-cards your innocent opponent.
The Schumacher : Simply execute a violent assault on an advancing opponent, preventing a goal and enabling your side later to progress to winning a penalty shoot-out in which you play a large part. Chuckle in satisfaction as the ref shows you merely a yellow card.
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I don't think TH won anything off Dusty Bin. Unlike with us, when he won the First Division Title. Did somebody say bring him back?
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It is shite, but it's oddly compelling shite.
I'm just a sucker for nearly any sort of game or quiz show on the idiot box, me. <sigh> We all have our crosses to bear.
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Anybody who is "zany". You really want those feckers to turn down a 20 grand deal and end up with 1p.
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I've thought of something else. It's the way that all the women members of the audience (and those who are participants) hold their hands cupped over their gobs when they're waiting to see what's in the box. The men don't seem to do it. Why the hell do they do that?
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Maybe so, but you didn't accept my post that the same joke had been in a butter advert when it was. So there!
I've got a more powerful sphincter muscle than you.
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Yep, Vitalite. I was right then, eh Bill? Time for you to take another tablet.
Nope. I think you'll find that Maxell used the music in their ad several years before Vitalite did.
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Same joke and set up as a butter advert from years ago. "ooooo ooooo me ears are alight".
Butter advert? Take another tablet, Thor - both ads were for Maxell tapes.
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I always found women who appeared on the Morecambe & Wise show ended up as fantisies of my tender youth.
What, the big wifie at the end who thanked everybody for watching her little show?
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Now
sublime, magical stuff. -
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I could't choose between Johnny Seven and Escalado. Does that make me a bad person?