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Bill Lees

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Posts posted by Bill Lees

  1. No such thing as arithmetic either by the looks of it, oh he who puts six in a Top 5 thread.

    I could't choose between Johnny Seven and Escalado. Does that make me a bad person? :unsure:

  2. And West Midlands must be an acquired taste.

    I have to agree. I've still not acquired the taste after 23 years in Brum - even though it - or something very like it - was probably good enough for Wullie Shakespeare and his mates.

  3. Feeling rather daring, a grey-haired old lady goes into a tattoo parlour. "I want a picture of Frank Bruno on my inner left thigh and a picture of Mike Tyson on my inner right thigh." she says to the tattooist.

    When he's finished, she looks at her new tattoos. Disgusted, she complains, "These are rubbish! I want to see the manager."

    The manager comes out from the back of the shop and asks, "What seems to be the problem, madam?

    "I wanted a tattoo of Frank Bruno and Mike Tyson, as they're both heroes of my younger days, but these don't look like either of them!"

    The manager steps back to take a look. "Yes, madam, you're right, they don't. But the one in the middle is definitely Don King."

    Hmmmm seems familiar. Didn't I hear the same joke but featuring Danny McGrain sometime recently? :unsure:

  4. Did you ever notice that the "I" in "Fiesta" is shaped like a knob ? :blink:

    And that there was a pub (Baillie's) in Paisley called The Fiesta Lounge? The place that you could guarantee getting served an under-age pint of slops :(

  5. The Rivaldo : When the ball is kicked towards you by an opposing player and hits on the thigh, fall to the ground clutching your face as if mortally wounded, then watch in satisfaction as the gullible ref red-cards your innocent opponent.

    The Schumacher : Simply execute a violent assault on an advancing opponent, preventing a goal and enabling your side later to progress to winning a penalty shoot-out in which you play a large part. Chuckle in satisfaction as the ref shows you merely a yellow card.

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