Bill Lees

1. mashed pig-vomit with maggot essence. 2. pickled rodent sphincters and cheese. 3. monkey scrotums marinated in albatross sputum. 4. fox's knobs in a minge butter. 5. Crunchy Frog.

Has she had the same surgery as the Queen?

You need a bit longer than a weekend for New York City, but it's still a wonderful town. Manhattan is like absolutely nowhere else on the planet I have ever been. Barcelona is just gorgeous. If you're into good food and drink, this is the place to be. Rome is the eternal city - a quite magical place. Every other building is a precious antiquity. Prague is just about my favourite city of all. The first time I went there I spent large amounts of time simply walking around like some sort of demented idiot gazing up at buildings just gobsmacked by the sheer, ethereal beauty of the glorious architecture at every turn. And the beer? Cheap and the the best in the world. Paris - again, I love the place. Some people think Parisians are nasty folk, but I love them. And again, a beautiful place. Special mention for Brussels. Some well skanky bits, but the old parts of town around the glorious old square are wonderful, with some of the best restaurants you'll find anywhere in the world. And beer, again - quite superb.

I did. Feckin stonkin stuff.

Just came across THIS , which seems to be more or less a technologically functioning version of the idea of this thread (or at least, what I think the idea of this thread is). It's completely free, so might give it a whirl.

How could you leave out the chap in your avatar pic, McB ?

"A Parcel of Rogues" - Steeleye Span.

1. Pablo Neruda 2. Rabbie Burns 3. T.S. Eliot 4. Carl Sandburg 5. Jacques Prevert.

Do you not ever fancy reading about something else?

ooo -err !

Do they not mention going to see a man about a dog?

"Fran & Anna Sing the Hits of Dolly Parton". Sheer class.

A rather splendid cover of Outkast's "Hey Ya" by a beardy American lumberjack. hear HERE

Nah - the production on the studio album "Pumpkin Horse" was for me simply unsurpassable.

"Lick my Truncheon" - PC Shineybuttons.

"Septic Septum" by Roland Quarmby. Not as good as the original, obviously.

Off to Western Crete for my annual fortnight of lazing and reading in about 3 weeks. Here's what's in the book bag so far : Crete by Antony Beevor - Classic account by the eminent historian of the titanic struggle for the island in WWII Queenan Country by Joe Queenan - humourous American's eye view of Engerlund. Unspeak by Stephen Poole - the dangers of twisting words and language. Time & Fate by Lance Price Up to the minute political thriller by former Downing Street spinner. The Nasty Bits by Anthony Bourdain - more barbs from the acid-tongued chef/author. Heat by Bill Buford - Former Granta editor's stint in a professional kitchen. The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins - Fascinating perspective on evolution by the master rationalist.

Too many "Rs" mate.

"The Man With the Golden Gussett" - Arthur Bupkiss.

The re-mix, natch.

"Waka-Daka on the Mersey" by Septic Nostril.

"Electric Ramrod" by Pelvic Thrust.

"Slack Arse Blues" by Slim Sidebottom and the Shettleston Shooglers.

"Thrash My Cleft" by Chas Spunkerton and the Giblets.

"Songs from the Dunnies" by Glen Daly.