Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by salmonbuddie

  1. I don't give a f**k what you think of me, life's too short and you're way too unimportant. At the risk of taking myself too seriously (again), you really are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity. Farewell.
  2. Spoken like someone trying to bully someone, imo.
  3. That's a fantastic wee video, everyone of us should see it.
  4. I think he might well have written this one with you in mind, oaky O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us! It wad frae mony a blunder free us, An' foolish notion: What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us, An' ev'n devotion!
  5. Go on then, show me proof that I'm a boring cnut. That's how it works, aye?
  6. You going to answer my question shull or do you want me to start a new thread?
  7. In a weird coincidence, I came out of Gleddoch Butchers, put the stuff in the car, decided to have a fag and a wee look in here while hanging about, and this was the first post I saw while standing right next to the very same building. It's an omen, I tells ya. No idea what it's presaging but I know an omen when it slaps me in the face like that... [emoji846]
  8. Do you really get a kick out of posting shite when folk have told you that they have lost members of their family and friends from this?
  9. I slept right through it, first I knew of it was looking out the (first floor) window and seeing a hut lying in the middle of the road. Each side was still attached to the roof but splayed out on each side as if a giant had played it on the road then pressed his (or her or their) foot down on the roof.
  10. Illuminate us all, oh great one - in what way am I taking myself too seriously? By quoting Buzz Lightyear? Really? Have a think about it...if you can ever (con)descend any lower than you've already achieved, of course. But we all need goals in these difficult times. [emoji23][emoji1787][emoji23]
  11. Fekk, you've ruined it for everyone now! [emoji1787][emoji23][emoji1787]
  12. No, it was a "riddle" - you also need to bear in mind the audience it was pitched at though... [emoji846]
  13. They're under 50 with no underlying health conditions... [emoji846]
  14. From a while back but still valid "Let’s take a minute to talk about why this is absolutely, f**king, ridiculous. At no point EVER in the history of the world, have all the governments, of all the countries, of the whole world, got together and gone “hey, can we all agree that we need some kind of plague going on? You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Okay, can we all agree to disagree publicly about the best way to handle it? It’ll seem more realistic this way? You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Okay, can we get all the doctors and nurses etc on board? We’ll need some people to lie about cause of death for at least 875,000 people... you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Some of you might have to cop a bit of crap, and be pretty much blamed for everything, including who individual idiots choose to shag. You okay with that Dan?” * Dan nods head “We’ll need Bill Gates to promote a vaccine that includes a microchip... can someone get Bill on board? You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “We’re gonna call it Corona virus - it’s a real type of virus thing, but can someone check with Cerveceria Modelo if they’re happy for their beer to take a hit when idiots correlate the two? You all okay with that? Mexico? Belgium?” * all nod heads “We’ll need to spread the non-existent plague through 5G towers - can someone get the telco’s for every country on board? You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Look, we’re going to need to crash the economy of the whole world - you might cop some flack... you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “We need a guy to eat a raw bat... we need to have a country to blame....can someone get on that? China? Thanks. You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “After that, we’ll need some ways to spread it - let’s focus mainly on cruise ships and old folks homes - you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Some weirdos might come out of the woodwork - we’re gonna have to put tinfoil and toilet roll supply into overdrive.... you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “They’re the ones we want though, okay? Divide and conquer. You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Oh yeah, no leaks, ok? The public can’t know about this.... you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “We’ll need a coupla high profile celebs on board? They need to be loveable. Can someone check if Tom Hanks is happy to get it and recover? Also, check if Tim Brookes-Taylor is happy to get it and die. You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Now, Trump, you’re gonna have to keep acting like a dickhead, if this is to be believable. America will probably have to have more deaths than most other countries, and it needs to seem like it’s your fault - you okay with that Don?” * Trump: “Covfefe” “Awesome. Great that we’re all agreeable. Now, if any of you in the room are currently at war with another country in the room, you need to keep that act up, or they’ll be onto us - you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Oh, and we need someone to come up with bizarre cures....anyone? Anyone? Don?” * Trump: “I know a voodoo doctor? Bleach? Internal light? Hydroxychloroquine?” “Perfect. You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Cool. Does anyone wanna know why we’re doing this?” * all shake heads “Great, let’s get to it.” * all nod heads Seriously, if Covid 19 is a myth, then world peace could have been achieved."
  15. And yet you continue to respond. You are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity. Farewell.
  16. The whole point of my posts was that the "riddle" in them could be solved by an 8 year old, nothing clever about them.
  17. From the poster who numbers shull among his best friends on here? Thought your boredom threshold had to be much, much higher than that, oaky...
  18. That makes sense when you add it in and look at the total number.
  19. Me too, that's why I was asking - I wouldn't give a toss otherwise! [emoji1787][emoji23][emoji1787]
  20. Need some help? With the sum, obviously, I'm not qualified to help with your other problems. Or I could just tell you the answer?
  21. Figured out the answer yet, shull?
  22. Is this you, shull? Can you do the sum?
  23. In my defence shull has been using that level of argument for months now... [emoji846]
  • Create New...