Crispian Crunchie

Does it involve a giant balsa wood effigy of Stewart Gilmour?

I've corrected it for you, Ching.

Medion is worth a shufti. Often available through aldi, of all places, but really good kit at bargain prices/

Visited the Red Lion folk club (not quite cold enough for the Arran sweater yet) last Saturday night and listened to Roy Bailey & John Kirkpatrick. They're basically a couple of old lefties. Kirkpatrick is the finest accordion player I've ever heard, and Roy Bailey has done and still does words and music evenings with Tony Benn. Anyway, the thing that stuck in my mind was Roy Bailey's solo rendition of a Richard Thompson song called "Bee's Wing". A melancholy and wistful lament for a lost love, it was softly and beautifully rendered and was quite the most beautiful thing I've heard for some years. One of Thompson's very best. There's a wee YouTube vid of him (RT) singing it HERE. More than worth passing on - I hope you enjoy it.

<Twilight Zone Music> ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner.........</Twilight Zone Music>

Lex McLean.

I'm sorry, I'll read that again...... <Mr Logic> Ah - I see - an instruction to "top" as in "murder" </Mr Logic> Very good.

Erm.... Gordon Ramsay... Sorry, no good, I'm stuck.

See your point. A bit like the problem of the sludgy gooey mess there's going to be everywhere when the dead rise from their graves at the Last Trump.

I merely ask since if a ghost loses the ability to become sexually stimulated, in might not be worth hanging around netball teams' dressing rooms after all. What a depressing thought.

Well, if we're going to pre-suppose the existence of a ghostly presence that survives death, then I'd add hanging around the dressing rooms of netball teams. Mind you, can a ghost get a stiffie?

Fuxake. Should be firebombed straight away. Is the landlord Alfie Carfuffel - used to live in Cathcart Crescent?

1. Lie down. 2. Lie down. 3. Lie down. 4. Lie down. 5. Lie down.

I believe in the US the equivalent template is Florida.

Heh Heh. Kintyre looks like a knob.

Wouldn't be at all surprised. I'd get shot of it if I were you.

Go and stand in the corner. And be very ashamed.

It is a cuntflap of a thing. I'm just amazed how Microsoft can hold onto customers when it insists on continually feeding them updates that f**k up their systems. If it's f**ked up your system like it did mine, I recommend uninstalling it as per Microsoft's own instructions - it seems even they recognise what a steaming great pile of shite it is and that you will want rid of. it. After you've done that, change the computer to ask you before installing updates (Control Panel | Windows Update | Change settings - then option 3 ). When it tells you new updates are available, click "View available updates" to see what it is trying to install. On no account let it install Service Pack 1.

No tag buttons when you put up a post any more. The "Forum Options" pulldown doesn't work any more. What's up Doc/Div/Tom?

Bloody hell - Dr Who, Hamlet, and now Jim Clunie. I'll say this for him, the bugger's versatile.

Has the part of Big Jim Clunie been cast yet ?

Pish ?

No, it's true, I tells you.

In that case it's Lang's.

The Burgh Bar. The Bull Inn. Lang's. The Argyll. The Wee Howff. Proper pubs one and all.