RickMcD

I like seeing Monty play but I think it's understandable picking Patel. Monty did himself no favours with his dropped catches in the first test. And he has huge big paws! At lest Strauss and Cook managed through to lunch. Should be an interesting day.

Never thought of that. My apologies.

Don't mention traditional parades, please. I've seen enough of the bloody things to last me at least ten lifetimes. Did you not once tell me that Dick Chinnery was a bit of a tosser?

Did it not die out at one time and get reinstated years later?

I remember the Stane sitting outside the pub for years. Living in Glenburn I passed the end of Rowan Street umpteen times a week. I think it was only moved to Brodie Park in the 70's or thereabouts. I didn't know anything about the tollbooth stones.

Don't read his input any more. Now, let me guess where he put his onions?

I swear to God, this is true. I'm heading up to Specsavers today to pick up my new glasses. Just for reading and driving at night. I never knew what caused it.

That poor scabby lion. Always felt sorry for it. I wonder if there was a history to it. Like, who shot it? And where and when? And who stuffed it? A crowd of us used to go to the Storrie St.baths every Sunday at 8am. for, wait for it, mixed bathing! I kid you not. Risque or what? It sounds unbelievable, it was in the 60's and some of my mates parents wouldn't let them go in case...... well, you know. Just a few years later we were all going to Spain and seeing women getting their bits out. Of course as we all know, after the first few days you didn't notice any more. Honest.

Drunk or sober every time I passed it I wondered what was missing from that plinth. Have I missed something? Was there ever anything on it? Habbie Simpson would fit perfectly.

You may be closer to the truth than you imagined. Gray was bisexual and it was well known that he frequently went on 'recreational' trips to Thailand. His only son died out there when on a debauched trip with him. Maybe Gray fancied one of us that day in Bangor. Well, we are attractive men! I'm glad I didn't realise who he was when I was talking to him. He wasn't a good guy to upset.

When I was in my early teens I was a paperboy for Malky Martin the newsagent in the Skye Cr. shops in Glenburn. During the school holidays he used to make us take the bus into Paisley to pick up the PDEs from that building. We had to go to the door at the printroom entrance entrance which was in the Palladium Pend. If it was a big news day in Paisley (Honest,there were a few) sometimes we had to hang around for a while when all we wanted to do was get back up to Glenburn to play football. Eventually, the oldest of we three paperboys led us to mutiny and we refused to pick them up any more. I'm not sure, but I have a feeling that the leader of the mutiny has been mentioned on here. Won't name him but Broon is a clue.

This story is true, loosely based on petrol and has a St.Mirren connection. Might interest some of you. About ten years ago I was in my local one Saturday afternoon. I was in company with a few of my mates. One of them, Olly, had been a part time member of the RUC for nearly thirty years at at one point I heard him kind of catch his breath. I looked up and I saw he was looking at a big tall fair haired guy across the bar from us. During the troubles, it was an occupational hazard for a policeman to be recognised in the wrong place, (Especially without his gun). The fair haired guy kind of smiled and came round towards us. I have to admit, I was nervous. In these situations you just never know what can happen. The big fella said to Olly,'Do I know you?' and Olly said,yes, I worked with your dad. The atmosphere changed, it was smiles all round and we got back to enjoying ourselves. I caught that the big man's name was Jim and he and Olly started talking about the Jim's dad and people they both knew. I was kind of in the conversation but I had an eye on final score trying to see the Saints result. Eventually the guy Jim said to me,'So you're a Scotchman then?' Sharp as a tack these Ulstermen. I think it's my accent. I gave up years ago trying to correct the Scotchman thing. Before I could say a word, Olly chipped in 'Not only is he a Scotsman, he supports St.Mirren and he knew Davy Lapsley!' Now, I've never claimed to have known Davy Lapsley. I probably got his autograph about a dozen times because that what we did in those days. Olly I knew had worked with Shell all his life and so it turned out had Jim's dad. Probably quite a few of you will recall that so too did Davy Lapsley. Virtually all Northern Ireland's petrol used to come from Scotland and still does. Olly and Jim's dad knew Davy well and Jim as a boy had often accompanied his dad to Grangemouth and had come to regard Davy as an uncle. We had a right old chin-wag about St.Mirren. And then a couple of Jim's mates appeared from the pool-room and he had to go. Jim had to pay their bill and you've heard of a guy producing a wad of notes that would choke a horse. Well, think hippo and you might get the picture.Jim bought nearly everybody in the bar a drink before they left. When they had gone ,Olly asked me if I had recognised Jim. When I said no , he told me,'He is Doris Day!' You could have knocked me over with a feather. Some of you will probably know who I mean but if not google Jim 'Doris Day'Gray, UDA commander. Easy to find. Just months later, he was shot in the face apparently on the orders of Johnny 'Mad Dog' Adair. He as you may know until recently lived in Troon. Jim survived that shooting but needed a lot of plastic surgery to his face. Three years later he was killed in a hail of bullets in his father's garden. Killed by his own side. He was no loss to humanity. He undoubtedly murdered several people personally and ordered the deaths of many more. The google entries only covers part of the story. His name still crops up over here now and again. Everyone says there isn't a good word to say about him and of course that's true. But he did kind of follow St.Mirren.

I was hoping you might be able to tell us a bit more about the lawyer's office. It is an interesting looking building. It has something Rennie Mackintoshish about it.(Is that a word,Bluto?) Rennie Mackintosh didn't die until 1928 but I'm not suggesting he designed it. I imagine you could possibly describe as being in the style of the great man.

They're panic buying all over Northern Ireland. All our petrol comes from the mainland, a lot of it from Scotland. It can be an added complication as the stuff has to get on the ships in Scotland in the first place. The loyalist strikes were successful in large part due to petrol drying up. On the bright side, the bampots on both sides don't need nearly as much as they used to for their firebombs and Molotov Cocktails.

'Big'Millar was never my teacher in fact we were never in the same school at the same time but he frightened the shit out of me. One of our old Camphill teachers Alastair 'Big Bernie' Macpherson had a hell of an argument with him after a real ding dong battle between us and Stanely Green. They didn't get on for a while but then Big Millar transferred to Camphill and they became good friends.

It was apparently girls from almost anywhere including the highlands and islands but they had all managed to get in the family way. No abortion in those days so they were sent far from home to hush it up and avoid shame in the family. That was very commonly believed and I always though it was true. The two nurses you took back there,Bluto, were maybe the only two who weren't pregnant. At least at the start of the night.

What the hell have you been on? I was quite active when I was a young teenager but always careful. The PE teacher I knew was Ian Miller. He was at Stanely Green at one time, possibly when Ian Riddell was there too. He was Archie Gemmil's teacher. I think he did go to Camphill later but I don't know if it was the real Camphill or the fake.

Wee Mac, as MacCrossan was known probably retired not long after I left. The PE teacher when I was there was the famous Rusty Hutton but he died suddenly, in the gym one night playing squash. The Miller in our day was a psychopath of a technical teacher. Four of us tried to escape down the brae one day and the big bugger caught us. He took us back in the school and we each got six of the best. The whole school heard it as I'm sure you'll remember the way the noise echoed inside the old school.

It was an absolute tragedy that the old prison was demolished and I agree with whoever said on here that the councillors who let it happen should have been locked up in the old place. Typical 1960's thinking, not that councillors have improved over the years. When I was at Camphill, the assistant rector(Headmaster) was a bloke called Thomas MacCrossan. Don't want to speak ill of the dead but I hated his guts. The one thing I ever admired him for was canvassing against the closure of the old prison. He campaigned really hard but you know councillors. Once they have made up their minds for their own devious purposes, they will never change their minds.

Slash, that photo is actually the old county buildings. The balcony on it is where Davy Lapsley famously asked 'Who was it that won the Scottish Cup?' in 1959. The jail was behind the county buildings and from memory there was an entrance to the right of the county buildings which served the jail and the old polis office. Great photo all the same.

That was quite a walk. We used to go up at Easter to roll our eggs. Nothing as common as pieces for Glenburn boys. Cucumber sandwiches, with the crusts cut off, don't you know. Actually we used to take cans of beans and warm them up on a fire. They were good days. I don't remember it ever raining but I suppose it must have.

I think most will get it. All of us who were brought up in Glenburn or Foxbar used the Braes as our playground. Remember the wee tearoom?

I remember my mum taking my big sister and me up to show us. I was almost kind of awestruck by the story. When my dad came home that night it was back to earth when he gave his verdict. 'A load of sh**e!'

How do they get in to wind it up?

Were you never told not to show it in public?