The teacher turns to her Primary 1 class on a Monday morning. "Well, class, did you all have a nice weekend?" A room full of solemn faces nods back at her.
"Did anyone see anything interesting over the weekend?"
The faces now just look blank. "No-one?"
Now wee Susie puts her hand up tentatively.
"Yes Susie?" says the teacher encouragingly. "Well, I saw a wee dug in the park, chasin' a stick, after it's owner threw it fur him", said Susie.
"Good", said the teacher, smiling brightly. "Anyone else?". Now they're getting bolder. Wee Jimmy down the front sticks his hand up. "Yes Jimmy".
"Miss, miss, I saw a big Alsatian dug, chasin' a baw. It's owner kept chuckin' the baw, an' the big Alsatian kept runnin after it, it was pure brilliant, so it wis".
"Excellent Jimmy", said the teacher. As Jimmy had been speaking, wee Shug down the front had started bouncing in his seat. Now it was his turn.
"Miss, miss, miss, ah saw a coconut dug, so ah did!" "A coconut dog, Shug?" said the teacher, frowning. "I don't think so. There's no such thing".
"Aye ah did, Miss, ah did so". "Now, Shug" said the teacher, "you know it's wrong to lie."
Wee Shug was black affronted by this. "Ah did see a coconut dug Miss. It went past us in the park, an' ma maw said "Christ, look at the cock on 'at dug!!!"