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Everything posted by TediousTom

  1. My old farter is producing buttons at this one. Dare I say I have hope, I have expectation and I have a dream.....my club has never shattered any of them before. COYS, COYS indeed
  2. The kind of lot Paisley museum might be interested in!!!!! Interested in indeed
  3. The stadium is wonderful but one must never, ever rest on ones laurels lest one eventually devolves into something akin to Greenock So in the interests of evolution I propose the following improvements A big sign at every entrance stating the following enforced rules 1) NO TRACKSUITS 2) NO LABOUR VOTERS 3) NO KNOWN CRIMINALS/VAGABONDS/PEOPLE FROM GREENOCK 4) NO OLD FIRM FANS 5) NO SIN BINNED BAWA FORUM USER'S I would also have a Smisa section whereby all Smisa members are penned into a section at the rear of the family stand. The Smisa section will be surrounded in sound proofed Perspex in order to protect normal people from the overly loud and constant whining and opinionated self important urine that will be generated without pause. A redesign of the catering facilities should also take place. Nothing complicated just a simple design whereby the person taking your order does not have to walk from the counter (where she/he took your order) to the Bovril dispenser, stand in a queue at the Bovril dispenser, pour your Bovril and return to you, leaving said Bovril on the counter before walking to the warm pie machine, standing in a queue at said warm pie machine before returning to you and leaving your warm pie on the counter before quoting you a ridiculously high price for said Bovril and pie. Thereafter take your £20.00 note and walk to the till, stand in a queue at the till before placing your £20.00 in said till, removing your £1.20 change, walking back to you, hand you the change and thus finally finish the transaction!!!! Note:- The overpriced transaction can be extended to include a soft drink, thus he/she walking to the soft drink dispenser, standing in a queue at said soft drink dispenser, dispensing your soft drink, adding ice and walking back to the counter, placing soft drink on the counter before dealing with the next phase of the transaction. A similar phase can be added for sausage rolls/hamburger/cheeseburger and/or hot dog (s). I would commission marble statues of important Paisley Buddies in order to educate/stimulate intelligent conversation. People I would immortalise is such statues would include: 1) Saint Mirin himself (although he would be taller, more athletically built with a rugged chiselled chin than the small fellah outside the chapel of his own name) 2) Walter Fitz Alan 3) Cuthbert 4) Ta Ta Bella 5) Henry Herbert Asquith 6) Esmael Goncalves 7) Dan McGarry 8) Kelly Marie 9) Robert Tannahill 10) Agnes Naismith (and the other 6) 11) James Dunlop 12) Gerry Rafferty 13) Dougie Vipond 14) Arthur Henderson VC 15) Hugh McIvar VC 16) The owner of Café Malatso that gives free Christmas dinners to those who would otherwise be alone 17) Jock Bradford 18) The Paisley Snail 19) Marjorie Bruce 20) Fulton MacKay 21) Hector Nicol 22) Dale Greig 23) James McKechnie VC 24) John Hannah VC 25) Samuel Evans VC 26) A tribute to the Woodside first aid station, the canal boat disaster and the wee darlings of the Glen 27) Danny Kyle These statues would be paid for by Smisa since I wouldn't let them near my beloved club.
  4. I watched the sentencing live on BBC news. Very, very harrowing and one can only imagine the intimate details that the judge did not read out. A true monster. He has been given a life time restriction order. My understanding is that this order allows for him to be detained for the rest of his natural life. After 27 years he CAN apply for parole but the parole board would need to be satisfied he can safely return to society. A possibility I can only imagine as being remote, remote indeed. May this monster lead a miserable existence.
  5. The OP has made an error in respect of his numbers. However the OP does have a valid point, a valid point indeed. This may be crazy talk, this may be "outside the box" thinking, this may be originality at its original best, this could be the most obviously brilliant idea since the wheel was put on the suitcase. Here it is...... We could get someone at the club (who has a sunroofed car) to drive around Paisley whilst Oran Kearney sticks his head out and shouts through a mega phone phrases such as "come support your local team, "I know yer da" and "we are playing for Paisley", "no surrender to the SFA" and the such like. In fact I bet he reads this and is being driving slowly up Glencoats Drive by lunchtime.....perhaps Alan Wardrop will take him in his Fiat Uno.
  6. HOW TO EMPOWER SMISA MEMBERS Well I have long been an advocate of saving. Save today and be secure tomorrow. Reaching a point of relative financial freedom is indeed empowering, not worrying about the next bill dropping on the door mat, stressing how to get to work when your car packs in and requires an expensive repair in the middle of the month, being able to go that relaxing holiday to recharge the old farter. So here is how to empower the Smisa members STOP PAYING INTO IT Instead put that money into a "stocks & shares ISA" or if you are under 40 a "lifetime ISA, otherwise known as a LISA" and let that money grow over the years. An alternative to that would be to put the money you are wasting on Smisa into a savings account and at the end of year put it into your mortgage. It may seem a small amount but every penny you pay off early is money saved on interest. The old saying "a penny saved is a penny earned" is somewhat relevant here but I would prefer the term "a penny Smisa'd is a penny spunked". If you are paying silly amounts of jizz money into Smisa, then save it up and perhaps purchase yourself a VCT (venture capital trust). A higher risk investment but an investment nonetheless. So stop jizzing your money away, save it and let your financial security begin to grow. From small acorns grow great oak trees. Stupid people don't save. People from Greenock or who vote Labour are the types generally daft enough. Don't be from Greenock and don't vote Labour. Free yourself from the constraints of idiocy, rise above the common halfwit and empower yourself fellow Buddies EMPOWER YOURSELF. Empower yourself indeed
  7. I recommend that we implement those exact rules for entry to the Simple Digital Arena
  8. It is some months since I tread the boards of the Bull Inn. A fine Paisley establishment that takes even I back to my youth. Up until about 4/5 years ago I was considered a regular and all the bar staff knew me by name. Even big Derek who was a [email protected] supporter (well I suppose he still will be). Lack of mobility sees me somewhat unable to attend New Street at all without a degree of difficulty. As such I use a nearby bowling club (with a dodgy Amazon stick for the football) for my beverage and televised football needs. I miss the Bull, I also miss the wee Howff and Paddy's as well. Yes I know the Howff is still there but I am unable to get to it now so I miss it. In any case after taking a prolonged break from a drinking establishment, going back is somewhat difficult as many of my contemporaries will be dead. On that cheery note I shall move on. The Bull is a really special pub as is the Howff (the market bar to men of my age). Of my many fond memories of the Bull I must say spending the evening of March 17th 2013 after using the finest football bus that was ever known to man to go from/to that pub was a special day. Great pub that has serviced some great people for a great number of years. As I think of the Bull I think of me and my dear old dad having many a pint together until I lost my favourite Buddie in 1967. I remember my dear old mother sitting in the lounge with her mill pals whilst I strutted around the bar like the proverbial man about town. I remember pals and bits of stuff alike, real characters nearly all of whom are long gone and I hope that in many years to come some young gentlemen is still able to look back upon a lifetime of memories as I am today based around the Bull (and the Howff/Market bar). Here's to the Bull, to the Bull indeed.
  9. If the original poster wants the Smisa director to spend all of his/her time filling out paperwork justifying whom he has invited to where, what was consumed and by whom and of course why and lets not miss out exactly when then the original poster is right on with his/her observations. Most of us would recognise though that such unimportant issues do not merit discussion and the relevant person should be free to carry out the duties bestowed upon them with the confidence and freedom afforded by the bestowing membership. That said Smisa are entirely evil and maybe if they spent every hour of every waking minute filling out explanation forms for everything then they would have less time to carry out the evil deeds that they will inevitably enact.
  10. Perhaps our younger and more sensitive element, you know the members of the group Criminals not fans Could use such a thread to swap attire. At the end of the day the little feral runts only have a set amount of pocket money with which to buy the oh so important track suits that identify them as well, feral runts. So we could expect to see the following types of post Looking to swap Blue Sergio Tachini Trackie bottoms fur a pair oh Adidas or Nike, pure mintit condition except fur a couple o' bomber marks. Any bro's up fur it please contact Tarquin on his apple smart phone that daddy and his new mummy bought him for Christmas 2018.
  11. Its at times like this that young men (and young women, but mostly men) show themselves up to being little more than molly coddled children. So the Police stopped and searched a bus did they? Stop greeting like spoilt little bitches. Man up you entitled baw bags. If you are law abiding then you have nothing to worry about, otherwise you are a criminal. Criminals need stamped upon and I have no objection, neigh I welcome some mild inconvenience in eradicating this scum and villainy from our society. Fans not criminals are a group? Are they, they sound like a tracksuit wearing, open toed sandal civil liberty loving tree hugging jizz rags. Again I refer you to the scum and villainy point above. The club need to listen to the W7/Supra's/bunch of unhappy pre-pubescent teenagers? No they don't. They really don't. In fact I am disappointed that the club arranged this meeting at all. The opinion of tracksuits need never be considered. The club said this, the tracksuits said that, I didn't see it or I did see it and I am not saying or it didn't happen but it did! Behave yourselves. The club owes no-one an explanation. Like any privately owned business no-one has the right to dictate its actions (that's what directors are for). In the wake of a shameful, shameful period for football I would like to see the club, the Scottish government and the Police work together to eradicate this scum element from our game. Not every tracksuit at the football is a criminal but every criminal at the football wears a tracksuit. Search every tracksuit in and around the ground, film these tracksuited scum bags, deal severely and without discretion each and every offensive remark, disorderly conduct or thuggish act. Let us eradicate the tracksuit wearers from the terraces. I propose a new supporters group Fans not tracksuits, fans not tracksuits indeed.
  12. Tony and Gus have achieved great things during this transfer window. The team has improved and performances are somewhat better. Tony's job does not only circle around signing players, he has also had to deal with the menace of the poorly behaved fan. I think this aspect of club business has been dealt with admirably , smoothly and in such a low profile manner many of you will not know of what I speak. Guid job Tony boy, guid job indeed.
  13. Turbo, Rab and Gary Blackwood look none too pleased. Ah those were the days. I recall a sojourn to a random Edinburgh pub one day when a game at Meadowbank thistle was called off at twenty past two (14:20hrs). I reckon somewhere around 1993/1994? Actually turned into a guid we afternoon with the less than handsome Knox Street bus members. However the late call off doth do the tits right in, doth do the tits right in indeed.
  14. That could well be a moment of genius or is that the right phrase?
  15. Is this the beginning of the end of the Labour party? Did the end of the Labour party start some time ago and this is just another chapter in Labour's oh so slow decline? Are the Labour party the most evil entity known to politics the in the western hemisphere? Will this band of rebels form a new party? Will this band of rebels sit as independents thus achieving nothing and fading away to obscurity at the next election? Interesting stuff fellow forum users' interesting stuff indeed.
  16. No argument from me...I just think you are an over sensitive, self righteous hippy who firmly believes the world owes him something. I also happen to think you are soft as defecate and your behaviour is as pathetic as it is predictable. You are the negative bi product of the social media age. But hey ho.....the world keeps turning and tomorrow you will have something new to focus your fake rage upon.
  17. Well as predicted you could not help yourself. Calm down and enjoy your falafel in pita bread with ethically sourced couscous served with a half coconut shell containing ethnic vegan breast milk. Let the rest of us worry about real life.
  18. Oh your one of these "I am easily offended, wait till I tell social media, oh authority I am so frightened of it, what a privileged little cow of a madam I am, how dare those whose job it is to administer justice look in my direction, I am so outraged, a steward looked at me and now I know how Nelson Mandela felt, I cant stand on chairs I am so oppressed, everyone has it in for me because I am so lower middle class, I eat beans once so I am instead so working class, fight the power, you cant tell me what to do, eff the system until benefits day yeah once I get my benefits I will fight the system, its a conspiracy against people I don't really know but they are now my comrades, the system is corrupt I saw it on a programme about it on the BBC, you know the BBC I pay my licence fee for, free Tibet, down with the system, I know my rights and you offended me by eating waffles in a homophobic way, everyone is equal except me, well I am equal and I demand to be equal but when authority glances in my direction I get upset, don't treat me like everyone else as I am offended, don't single me out but treat me differently, I am important and I demand to be heard but pay me no attention, well pay me lots of attention but not the attention I don't crave, the club have made this up, every one is a liar, I respect everyone but I have no respect for anyone, cradle my humanity and stroke my ego, I am just like the great John MacLean except for all the brave bits, I demand justice, oh you know social justice not real justice, protect the spitter against the man, he/she is misunderstood, cuddle the spitter, its not like he/she is a real criminal like Starbucks, well he/she is a criminal but spitting is okay, well its not okay if you spit on me I would be first to report it but it wasn't me so its okay and I side with the oppressed, its an outrage" Well I will leave you to be offended at whatever unimportant but massively dramatic issue is ruining your decaffeinated fair trade coffee served in a recyclable cup served with a quinoa and yak milk quiche. Don't worry and don't be so outraged, judging by this thread you are far from the only one. I am sure your sense of "social justice" will compel you to formulate some sort of outraged reply.
  19. Agreed, it does seem rather odd indeed. However that said this incident is disgusting and I condemn the assailant and all his/her little fandan friends. I do hope that the proper authorities are allowed to exert the required control and bring this sub human coward to justice. Indeed if the decision were mine I would drag the coward through the streets of Paisley with both feet tied to a pony. Decent people would be allowed to throw vegetables and rocks at the coward (but not the pony). The coward would then be delivered to a specially commissioned altar stone temporarily placed on the centre circle at new Love Street. Tony Fitzpatrick would then be invited to crush the cowards head under a jackboot with "authority" written thereon. His/her brain matter would be left to dissipate into the grass (good plant feed I would imagine) whilst all the righteous little cowards friends gaze on, frightened to complain via social media lest the jackboot of authority be released upon them!!!! If Tony Fitzpatrick is unavailable/unwilling perhaps the Panda can don the jackboot of authority! But alas the decision is not mine. Perhaps we should berate the authorities for daring to supervise our fanbase and perhaps offer cuddles to those who break the law in such a cowardly fashion. Perhaps the jackbooted panda is just a crazy dream...........just a dream indeed.
  20. Ask yourselves this...what must Ducken's think? Here we have grown men greeting like little bitches that a steward/the man/the Polis/Gordon Scott's secret service/Tony Fitz's hallelujah troupe may have kept a beady eye on them. The good name of our club is being dragged through the gutter by an utter baw sack who has spat on an opposing fan who was on a stretcher and incapacitated. The same baw sack is being protected by the little offended bitches who are making little privileged bitch like statements such as "you don't know what happened" and "allegedly". The baw sack is a baw sack or as Rabbie Burns would have put it a baw sacks a baw sack for a' that. Anyone who throws coins at the football is a baw sack. Anyone who spits on another human being is a disgusting, cowardly baw sack. Anyone who spits on another human being whilst that human being is lying an a stretcher is an utterly disgusting baw sack. This baw sack deserves to punished. Any "fan" of ours who has a modicum of decency would contact the appropriate authorities and allow this baw sack to be dealt with in a manner befitting the disgusting behaviour exhibited by this baw sack. Ducken's will know that the person(s) responsible for this shameful, disgusting and cowardly behaviour are directly responsible for causing all the issues that many are currently "greeting" about. Ducken's will surely not be impressed, surely not be impressed indeed. Duckens will also know that if the "w7" boys don't want the "pure heavy attention man, its no fair, its pure no fair" then the w7 boys need to start weeding out the scum like element who are giving them (and all of us) a bad name. If I see a baw sack spitting upon or throwing a coin at an opposing fan I shall do more about it than greet on here. I suggest we all do the same. Ducken's may well think that a little bit of national service would sort out the soft as defecate youth of today. When one gets deployed in a foreign theatre of war one becomes a little more pragmatic and much less pathetic about ones feelings being offended by such unimportant events as a "pure heavy stare fae a steward". Don't be as soft as defecate and be more like Ducken's.
  21. And yet we still have far too many, far too many indeed
  22. No need...we have a new right back
  23. We may not be done...the twitters are a lighting
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