Guest Joe Posted October 16, 2006 Report Share Posted October 16, 2006 You were doing it standing up on the bed in front of a wean...................!!!!!!! One of my many drunken encounters with hairy arsed hingoots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckfast crew Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 I shagged a clatty cow in johnstone castle, her wee boy was roaring and greetin so she just went and got him from the other room and put him on the bed beside us, and we were going at it that hard he bounced off the bed and on to the floor. Disgusting really I know, but a standing prick has no conscience Was that you? funny to put a name to a face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkL Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 How odd.............. Yes you are Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
closet saint Posted October 22, 2006 Report Share Posted October 22, 2006 I once spent a couple of gruelling days refurbishing an old victorian pannelled door, with new mouldings, locks, refinish etc., On completion, and standing back to admire my work, the door blew shut, locking me out. So I had to boot it in, wrecking it in the process................Lucky white heather.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 You passed up the chance of a threesome? Mind you, I've always thought one of them might be a bit difficult...... Which one, Bill? You can tell us - we're your friends. It won't go any further.... The blonde girl or the brunette - or you were maybe worried about a redhead....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 I once spent a couple of gruelling days refurbishing an old victorian pannelled door, with new mouldings, locks, refinish etc., On completion, and standing back to admire my work, the door blew shut, locking me out. So I had to boot it in, wrecking it in the process................Lucky white heather.......... The windae widnae have been easier or wis it up a tenement or what...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Ninjas Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 I was in Tenereffe in 2001 with a mate. Went out one night, pulled this stinking scouse burd, anyhoo, ended up down on a beach in the middle of the night getting jiggy with the stinker. Some fanny stole my jeans, wallet, bank cards, room key and my bastard shoes. That was a horrible walk home.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 Went out one night, pulled this stinking scouse burd, anyhoo, ended up down on a beach in the middle of the night getting jiggy with the stinker. Some fanny stole my jeans, wallet, bank cards, room key and my bastard shoes. And they say Romance is dead... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
closet saint Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 The windae widnae have been easier or wis it up a tenement or what...? 4 flights up mate....Helicopter height, and my Spiderman suit was on the other side, I can feel my face turning red again now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollz Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 Tenerife. Beaches. 2001 = bad memories Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
closet saint Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 Tenerife. Beaches. 2001 = bad memories Hope it's not on athe level of depravity of the earlier posts here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny P Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 Tenerife. Beaches. 2001 = bad memories You stole NN's jeans? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollz Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 Hope it's not on athe level of depravity of the earlier posts here thankfully my exploits never involved a scouser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Ninjas Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 And they say Romance is dead... I would love to say that it was like the scene in "From Here to Eternity", but it was about as far towards the other end of the romance spectrum as you can get. I was meant to be there with my then GF (an aberdeen fan BTW) and I thought we would be moving in together and doing the love thing. She chucked me by answerphone about three weeks before the holiday. One of my buddies from the camp came with me, and we had a facking riot. Holls, if it was you, please may I have my stuff back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon Urquhart Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 Was once invited to a corporate golf day near London. Arrived early at nice posh club. Sat down and was chatting when waitress came up and asked what I would like for breakfast. "Bacon roll please" She stiffened and for the benefit of everyone that was there in loud voice "Excuse me sir, but this is a Jewish club and we do not serve bacon here" Me, stunned with no idea and a true brass neck couldn't think of an alternative. "Erm..... doesn't matter then" Funny, everyone else found something needing cleaned on their shoes just then. Ouch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny P Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 Holls, if it was you, please may I have my stuff back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbie Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 Was once invited to a corporate golf day near London. Arrived early at nice posh club. Sat down and was chatting when waitress came up and asked what I would like for breakfast. "Bacon roll please" She stiffened and for the benefit of everyone that was there in loud voice "Excuse me sir, but this is a Jewish club and we do not serve bacon here" Me, stunned with no idea and a true brass neck couldn't think of an alternative. "Erm..... doesn't matter then" Funny, everyone else found something needing cleaned on their shoes just then. Ouch. On a similar note, years ago in Safeway, one of the part timers was told to fill an end display with promotional stuff for passover (or whatever it's called). All Jewish kosher food like Matzo crackers and stuff. Anyway, he had completed the display, but didn't have anything for the bottom shelf, so he asked the gaffer what to do. Gaffer replied that he should just find some other promotional item and fill the shelf with that. He promptly filled the gap with tins of chopped pork. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windae cleaner Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 Tenerife. Beaches. 2001 = bad memories Like the end of Kevin and Perry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckfast crew Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 thankfully my exploits never involved a scouser Prostitute shouts across the street,"hey scouse boy want a blow job?"He shouts back f**k off i dont want any kind of job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollz Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 Prostitute shouts across the street,"hey scouse boy want a blow job?"He shouts back f**k off i dont want any kind of job! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy Clackerpack Posted October 28, 2006 Report Share Posted October 28, 2006 Black sand is murder to clean off. Any wet sand is murder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted November 9, 2006 Report Share Posted November 9, 2006 Any wet sand is murder. Especially under the foreskin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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