EL NOMBRE Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 1/ Wipe a big bogey on the back of the Mona Lisa.....and baffle the boffins as they try and DNA it to see if it was a genuine Leonardo. 2/ Go back in time and swap the ten commandments for a new set of your own....see how Christianity turns out. 3/ Change the royal bloodline to Icke.....and then accuse David of being a big lizard 4/ Advise Brother Walfrid that sports isane the way to go.....and set up a soup kitchen instead. 5/ Hide Pickles......and the Russian linesman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ST SID Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 1. Marilyn Munroe 2. Jane Russell 3. Gina Lolobrigida 4. Sophia Loren 5. Cyd Charrise.......and then some! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ritchie_smfc Posted August 24, 2007 Report Share Posted August 24, 2007 1. Lock up the men who refused to let Ronaldinho get into Scotland n join us. 2. Move Tom Boyds hand out the way of the ball against Brazil at the 98 World Cup 3. Never have let Tom Hendrie sign the duffers in the SPL Season 4. Locked Tokely in a cage before the Kerr incident. 5. Bought last yeers away top Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aber 87 Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 1. Stop Mark Chapman shooting Lennon 2. Stop the Specials disbanding 3. Stop all the good players we had leaving for supposedly bigger clubs 4. Never give Alex Miller a contract 5. Be a fireman in Trumptonshire, Pugh, Pugh, Barney , McGrew, Cuthbert , Dibble, Grub & Aber 87 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chico Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 1. stopped hay taking charge 2. stopped hay taking charge 3. stopped hay taking charge 4. stopped hay taking charge 5. stopped hay taking charge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcd54 Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 1. Marilyn Munroe2. Jane Russell 3. Gina Lolobrigida 4. Sophia Loren 5. Cyd Charrise.......and then some! A rather literal interpretation of "do" here But yeah, so wid ah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FS Posted August 28, 2007 Report Share Posted August 28, 2007 1: Stopped Aberdeen poaching Fergie 2: Insisted Dooleys bike shop had more Choppers instead of accepting a Grifter for xmas '81 3: Put a bomb under a Grantham grocers shop the day a certain female child was born. 4: Joined the California Highway Patrol 5: Found the money to save Paisley Harriers Athletic Club, in order to continue pursuing that other career option. And top 5 historical "do's" 1: Cleopatra 2: Rita Hayworth 3: Maureen O' Hara 4: Miss Young (primary 4-7) 5: The lass that worked in Aulds, Glasgow Road circa 1990. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crudenbud Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 1. get that blonde lassies number 2. give her mine 3. put my penalty at saints aid 5 the other way 4. walk past the hairdressers 5. record backing vocals on itchycoo park Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Street Central Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 1. Marilyn Munroe2. Jane Russell 3. Gina Lolobrigida 4. Sophia Loren 5. Cyd Charrise.......and then some! Lets see , how about 5 or so of Rod Stewarts wags then Britt Ekland , must have been a right good looker in her day - found this , no bad for a pensioner Kelly Emberg hmm Rachel Hunter, lovely Alana Hamilton Penny Lancaster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbie Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 1. Not got so drunk on a school trip to France, that I don't remember a thing about getting a bj off the most sought after chick in the class. Gutted. 2. Booked the lad's weekend trip to Benidorm for the week after the Motherwell game. 3. Not accidentally booked 10 of the lads into a gay hotel in Dublin. 4. Cut the brake pipes on Tokeley's motor. 5. Taken my old best mate out to the pub the night he accidentally killed himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 3. Not accidentally booked 10 of the lads into a gay hotel in Dublin. Aye........................... ya fanny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 (edited) Aye........................... ya fanny Funny as fúck that wan. Was that the Inn on the Liffey or the Out on the Liffey? The one with the sailor's suit painted over the door, as if that wisnae clue enough. Edited September 4, 2007 by Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 1. Told Campbell Money to take his time with a bye-kick one Wednesday night in early November 1985. 2. Told Billy Thomson that when Peter Weir hits it with his right foot that’s the time to keep your legs closed. 3. Phoned Brian McGinlay to tell him that the semi-final replay had been postponed then got my dad to do the refereeing. 4. Told that useless big ex-Neilsonian bastard McLeish that when the ball goes squirming across the face of an empty goal and you see a Brazilian running towards it, chances are you should be there too so that you can knock it out for a shy, they won’t score, we’ll get a draw and we can actually qualify for the next bastardin’ round of the World Cup, ya big numpty! 5. Murrayfield, October 1991; “GAVIN! KICK IT LEFT A BIT!!!!†Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 1. Told Campbell Money to take his time with a bye-kick one Wednesday night in early November 1985.2. Told Billy Thomson that when Peter Weir hits it with his right foot that’s the time to keep your legs closed. 3. Phoned Brian McGinlay to tell him that the semi-final replay had been postponed then got my dad to do the refereeing. 4. Told that useless big ex-Neilsonian bastard McLeish that when the ball goes squirming across the face of an empty goal and you see a Brazilian running towards it, chances are you should be there too so that you can knock it out for a shy, they won’t score, we’ll get a draw and we can actually qualify for the next bastardin’ round of the World Cup, ya big numpty! 5. Murrayfield, October 1991; “GAVIN! KICK IT LEFT A BIT!!!!†No5 takes HHIBSS' fannyometer up a level............................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted September 5, 2007 Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 No5 takes HHIBSS' fannyometer up a level............................ I never realised that was possible, going by your rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbie Posted September 5, 2007 Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 Funny as fúck that wan. Was that the Inn on the Liffey or the Out on the Liffey? The one with the sailor's suit painted over the door, as if that wisnae clue enough. That's the fella. I'll never forget Danny's words to the receptionist as long as I live. "There's been a terrible, terrible mistake!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FS Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 That's the fella. I'll never forget Danny's words to the receptionist as long as I live. "There's been a terrible, terrible mistake!" Tis rumoured the Father Ted Xmas special was based upon this very incident... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted September 10, 2007 Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 Hayley Mills. Sigh........... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dardo Posted September 17, 2007 Report Share Posted September 17, 2007 4. Told that useless big ex-Neilsonian bastard McLeish that when the ball goes squirming across the face of an empty goal and you see a Brazilian running towards it, chances are you should be there too so that you can knock it out for a shy, they won’t score, we’ll get a draw and we can actually qualify for the next bastardin’ round of the World Cup, ya big numpty! Hey You!!!! Don't diss Nulsin. McLeish is fae Borrheid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Hey You!!!! Don't diss Nulsin. McLeish is fae Borrheid! I think you'll find that yon wee place near Borrheid is Neilston not Neilson. I refer to the school at which big Eck was in attendance for a couple of years before fame was thrust onto his ginger heid. The school was the John Neilson. One or two are former pupils of that fine establishment. We are known as "ex-Neilsonians". Hope this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dardo Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 I think you'll find that yon wee place near Borrheid is Neilston not Neilson. I refer to the school at which big Eck was in attendance for a couple of years before fame was thrust onto his ginger heid. The school was the John Neilson. One or two are former pupils of that fine establishment. We are known as "ex-Neilsonians". Hope this helps. Helps a great deal, thanks for that. I think you'll find that I said Nulson not Neilson. Nulson is how people from the village refer to it, and seein as that is where I was born and bred, I kinda know how to spell it. Thank you for sharing your vast intellect, and not-at-all patronising mannerisms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crispian Crunchie Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Thank you for sharing your vast intellect, and not-at-all patronising mannerisms. Heh heh. The biter bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcd54 Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Kelly Emberg hmm Wiz she no` on the Russ Abbot Show Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gudmunder Posted September 27, 2007 Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 1. Remove the main fuse from the Tardis so Dr.Who cannae go back and fourth in time 2. Be in an onside position just in front of Gordon Banks to deflect the ball into the net to stop they Engl*sh tossers going on and on about "that save" 3. Shoot the milky bar kid. The song went "The milky bar kid is strong and tough" yeah right! He's a 6st weakling!!! He's rough, he's tough, he's somethingelse that rhymes with...UFF! 4. Every Saints goal that was ruled offside or for fouling to stand 5. Take that woman in the "shake 'n' vac" commercial by the hand and lead her onto the dancefloor at Toledo Junction/Viennas/Club Slapper...and let her do her stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allym1877 Posted September 27, 2007 Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 Susan Penhaligon - circa 1977, "Soldaat van Oranje", era. I'd do her 5 times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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