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Top 5 Phrases Relating To Players....


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1/ "....retains the ball well..." :- Has little creative talent and moves in a sidewards motion,playing short passes to a team-mate no more than 3 feet away.(For this see Paul McStay,Barry Ferguson et al)

2/ "....always puts in a shift..." :-Again little actual talent,but runs around a lot giving the impression of actually doing something.(For this see Stuart Kean,Alex Bone et al)

3/ "....a good footballing brain...":-Past their peak,and the legs have gone.Tends to play short passes to other team-mates no more than 3 feet away.(See Russell Latapy).N.B. A player who may have been categorised as Number 2(see above),but in latter years has changed to resemble the description for 1(see above)

4/ "...commanding in the air..." :-Mainly refers to very tall players who by their stature should obviously win every high ball played up to them (See Richard Gough,Gordon McQueen).NB Also used when very little other skill apparent,other than the ability to leap like a salmon from a standing start.

5/ "....been a good servant to the club...":-Closely follows after number 3(see above),and refers to a player who is now plainly not up to the task,and whose future will shortly lie elsewhere.(See Press for details)

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2/ "....always puts in a shift..." :-Again little actual talent,but runs around a lot giving the impression of actually doing something.(For this see Stuart Kean,Alex Bone et al)

Isn't this going againstthe grain of not slagging any of the current Saints squad?

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"Good, honest, pro..." = Shite

"Covers every blade of grass..." = Runs about like a c**t. Does f**k all worthwhile. Shite.

"Never shirks a tackle..." = Dirty bastard. Does f**k all except try to break cunts' legs. Shite.

"Tricky winger..." = Wee, skinny c**t with twigs for legs. Lightweight as f**k. Shits himself from the slightest of tackles. Shite.

"Good shot-stopper..." = Makes the odd save look better than he had to. f**king crap at cross balls. Never commands his area. Blames every other c**t for losing goals. Shite.

"Veteran ..." = Old as f**k. Well past his best and would never get a game for any other c**t unless he was stepping down about 2 leagues. Shite.

"Still to fulfill the promise he showed at the start of his career..." = This c**t has turned out to be shite.

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" No better than what we have" - I'm not totally convinced by this player but despite the fact he would give us more depth , I've been asked to get aces on the cheep and I don't think he is one of them , It could come back to haunt me later , I might have to loan him to a 1st Div side to see his worth , has a goal scoring record but someone told us he likes to go clubbing etc

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"The players interests and ours did not match" - Fell out with the gaffer or likes to steal other players property nb see big German thieving bastard

"Is a great prospect" - is really a wee boy

"younger players will benefit from his experience" - is very old

"a leader on the park" shouts a lot, moaning faced b'stard

"takes a good free kick" - his free kicks are rather good

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  • 3 weeks later...

How about "I dadnae see the incident"..?

Meaning either ,

"Look - you f**king saw whit happened, and i f**king saw whit happened. If ah say even as much as the ref goat it wrang, I'll get fined and barred fae the dugoot. So take ye mike and shove it, ya wee shite stirrin' dick".

Or

"Aye - oor boay done him. Fair and square. Ah saw it, but amnae gona say that. So take yer mike and shove it, ya wee shite stirring dick".

:wink:

Edited by Saints Slick
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1. 'the cultured winger' - he's left footed, occasionally puts in a decent cross

2. 'fox in the box' - only scores tap ins, crap outside the box or in one-on-ones

3. 'continental keeper' - wears short sleeves/couldnt catch a beach ball

4. 'great pro' - never been a standout, but solid player who plays 35 games a season at the age of 35+

5. 'utlity man' - squad player, usually has more sub appearances than starts, never plays the same position 2 weeks running

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  • 4 weeks later...

"cracking first touch" - f**k all else in his game, prob no bad at keepy ups though...

"likes the game in front of him" - slow, probably too fat and/or old.

"luxury player" - lazy b*st'rd

"one of Europes top midfielders - a stand out in the SPL" - I pure luv wee Barry, he's a right good Proddie anaw

"Goalkeepers are born, not made" - This boy could get a game for Hibs...

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  • 2 weeks later...

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