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Reidy1987

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What about the ads for walk in baths etc.How many people take a bath in a swimsuit? :rolleyes:

Probably those women you get in TV programmes,who've been married for 10 years but still cover their tits with the bedclothes so their husbands can't see them in the scud.

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Dougie Donnelly's 25 year stint trying to get everyone done to f'k'n tillicoutry or wherever it was had to be the most pointless advert ever. SO pointless I can't even remember the companies name - just Dougie trying to be upbeat :blink:

The company name was Sterling, a furniture warehouse. It's still there by the way...

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Any advert with lisping mockney Jamie "Pukka" Oliver in it has to be pretty damned near the top of any guff ad list....."Where's the collander big boy.." oh do me a fcuking favour and phone a pizza you twat!!!

Others that bug the Wiser 'nads would have to be any advert which has been blatantly dubbed. Particularly the ones from America.....soooooo annoying :angry:

I hate that wee bassa from the Halifax adverts too....I'll give you fcukin extra you animated jit-stain!! Oh man.....too many to list now I think about it!!!!

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The latest Wrigley's Extra ad, the one with the wee blue strip you put in your gob, the young bloke goes to shake hands with the Maori looking chap (wearing a feckin' t-shirt and suit!) and the Maori does some sort of dance. So in return the laddie does some made up s***e where he puffs out minty breath and gets a hug. Nonononon, what he needs, in fact, what he DESERVES is a f*ckin' good boot in the cheenies! :angry:

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The latest Wrigley's Extra ad, the one with the wee blue strip you put in your gob, the young bloke goes to shake hands with the Maori looking chap (wearing a feckin' t-shirt and suit!) and the Maori does some sort of dance. So in return the laddie does some made up s***e where he puffs out minty breath and gets a hug. Nonononon, what he needs, in fact, what he DESERVES is a f*ckin' good boot in the cheenies! :angry:

Aye.....he'll be coughing up more than blue breath after that.......a good connection could result in him gargling with his clackers!! :lol:

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Guest saint hits the net

Come on lads, you are forgetting the truly awful commercials.

1: Croft Original. Pompous wealthy git muttering " It's for the jolly old Croft Original. A drop of the Chilled Croft is absolute nectar - every one at Stiffy Bing's lapped it up. The trouble with you Jeeves is that you are too set in your ways.

2: Nescafe: Ian McShane (of Lovejoy fame) asks a couple for a lift affer his boat engine packs in.

Couple: This is the life - just the two of us.

Smarmy McShane: Excuse me, couldn't give me a lift ashore could you ?

Couple: Of course - climb aboard.

Couple: Coffee ?

Smarmy McShane: Terrific, mmmmm, Nescafe, no mistaking coffee at it's best. Thanks. Look, I'd like to return the favour. Why don't you join me on my boat tomorrow ?

Cue suitable Gallic accordion music as McShane's boat sails towards a French port. What a load of P*sh. If his Lovejoy character is anything to go by, that guy wouldn't take you up the Cart on a rowing boat.

3: Duncanson's (I think) I remember this ad when I was young - a furniture store in Glasgow. The ad always ended with the annoying echo of "Halfway down Robertson Street, Halfway down Robertson Street, Halfway down etc. Never gave it another thought until I went in to the store many years later. Couldn't believe my ears as the assistant replied " So you want a suite, so you want a suite, so you etc.

4 Head And Shoulders: Or should that be Flake ? <_<

Girl: Ok big brother, imagine. You're at the Social event of the year and your dream girl says "hello", just as you do this - her first impression, what a hunk and only a few flakes.

Boy: Give me a break.

Girl: The breaks are you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Boy: So ?

Girl: If ordinary shampoos don't fix the problem, then try this.

Cue head and shoulders and a voiceover of "you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

5a:Mars Bar: Chocolate with a streetwise attitude courtesy of Danny Baker.

Baker: Today, people are getting more out of travel, more out of music and a lot more out of summink that's a lot more bigger and better -the Mars Baaar. The Chocolate's the best ever and the standard bar's bigger to boot. So what do you reckon ?

Ist Geezer: Yeah, Chocolate's great man.

Geezeress: Middle bit's good.

2nd Geezer: An it's bigger - hahhahaha.

Baker: So the word on the street is "more" - "There's more to mars".

5b: Volkswagon: Old guy think he has seen a UFO.

Interviewer: So tell us what it was you saw:

Old Guy: Just startin to close up fur the night I guess an all of a sudden these braight lights seem to come out of nowhere. Man was movin fast and Martha was out in the kitchen so I started hollerin "C'mere, C'mere an look at this. What do you think ? The lights were so bright, then it just came on in there - as close to me as you are right now".

Interviewer: What do you think it was ? Did it have any markings on it, anything like that ?

Old Guy: It had this kind of old symbol - like a VW.

And Finally for St Sid. Sterling - his favourite ad.

Dougie D: The big sale is now on. Open on boxing day and all holiday weekend including Monday. The big sale at Sterling Tillicoultry. It's too big to miss. :lol:

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There's more:

1 The Asda price where they used to shake the money

2 the auld f'k'r in the yellow pages advert JR Hartely.

3 Ferrero "b'st'rd Roche!!!

4 That f'k'n knob with the trumbone in the butter ad

5 All Xmas toy ads - always made s***e toys look more exciting that they are.

I did like the old Haddows adverts though

SMASH ads were class

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Guest saint hits the net

I always enjoyed Ricki Fulton's lucky white heather ads - for Agnews I think.

Loads of Yellow pages ads, French Polishers. I was right about that saddle though, Come here Ted, we've got something for you, boy standing on yellow pages to kiss his girl under the mistletoe and there's more.

I thought they missed a great advertising opportunity having presented old Ted the gardener with a motorised lawnmower. The next ad should have shown him driving around merrily and then crashing into a tree. Fast forward to the couple looking up the Yellow Pages for lawnmower repairs.

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Guest bob_mcshug

The latest arnold clark ad where the girl can't afford a new car so just whinges at her dad....very annoying!!!

So is the el paso advert with that stupid bint on the phone while her fella makes fajitas....it those "aromatic spices" that really bug my tits!! :angry:

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Just to turn things round a bit, some slogans from adverts. What was the product? Wee clue - they were all Scottish.

1. "Ah canny get the matches tae light"

2. "There's always change at ...."

3. "What kind of a man are you, Wullie Baxter?"

4. "Bing Crosby... BING CROSBY!!!???"

5. "Pea and ham - fae a chicken???"

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Guest saint hits the net

2 is Agnews and 5 is Knorr stock cubes. Willie Baxter is familiar. Hey, Reidy, why didn't you mention an old Scottish ad my mother loved -- " Sausages are the boys " ?

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Wullie Baxter was a grocer in the Scott's Porage Oats ad. Bit of a big tubby git in the Brian Blessed mould, a lusty housewife would eye him up and down and say "You're a fine figure of a man, Wullie Baxter", at which Wullie would blush sheepishly and get a huge stiffie. Probably. ;)

Edited by Bill Lees
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No 1 - "You should have used Scottish Bluebells"

You missed out the best bit! "Ya dunderheid!". In the middle of a pitch battle as well.

"Are you ready with the boiling oil?" cries the big, gruff, bearded highlander.

Ah, a fine piece of parochial advertising.

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