Bill Lees Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 (edited) 1. A long, guttering, steamy slash after having held it in for as long as you possibly can on a night on the Steely Tortoise * 2. A satisfying dump of a pleasingly firm consistency that only takes one wiping pass with the Andrex afterwards. 3. The working out of a gigantic bogey, which, when finally extracted, looks only marginally less humungous than it felt while it was up your snotter. 4. Picking out a vast clot of earwax from the depths of your inner ear - so dense and so far in that you think you're howking out a lump of your brain, and after which your hearing improves dramatically. Afterwards, you can form the wax into a detailed scale model of Love Street ;) 5. Scratching your arse-cleft and sniffing your fingers afterwards. Or even getting someone else to sniff them * Stella Artois Edited February 20, 2003 by Bill Lees Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Biscuits Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Oh dear Oh dear oh dear Oh dear oh dear oh dear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Lees - you are one bogging b*****d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty Sanchez Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 5. Scratching your arse-cleft and sniffing your fingers afterwards. Excellent. I thought it was only me who did that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Ah, Bill, you've obviously never worn a kilt. See thon big woolly socks you wear with said garment? When you've been wearing them all feckin' day? Well when you get to about 11 o'clock at night, you sit down with a pint, you shove the socks down to your ankles and then proceed to claw your lower leg from ankle to kneecaps all the way round. Ooooohhhhhh, that's a feckin' beauty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bob_mcshug Posted February 24, 2003 Report Share Posted February 24, 2003 (edited) Excellent.I thought it was only me who did that. I'm suprised!! ...judging by your handle i thought you would have just wiped it on yer burds top lip!? ;) Edited February 24, 2003 by bob_mcshug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ST SID Posted February 25, 2003 Report Share Posted February 25, 2003 1. Farting in the bath - the flavour enhancement never ceases to amaze me 2. Farting during sex - especially at the tickly bit - requires high levels of trust in your partner in certain positions 3. The single nostril blast whilst playing football 4. Squeezing someone elses blackheads / plukes against their will, in a public place and watching in delight as their embaressment causes more swelling in their adolescent eruptions 5. Shitting in the bilge - from fishing boat days. The skipper was a cheery f'k'r and ultra-irritating when waking you at the crack of dawn on a bollox cold winters morning. The sight of him dipping his hand into the bilge whilst starting the engines more than made up for it - "more marmite on yer toast skip" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crispian Crunchie Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 4. Squeezing someone elses blackheads / plukes against their will, in a public place and watching in delight as their embaressment causes more swelling in their adolescent eruptions How feckin weird is that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Not at all weird. You used to be able to buy 'blackhead extractors' from chemists. (Tho my own skin was/is flawless!) And you'd 'help' younger apprentices to clean up their act by using said metal tool to extract particularly offensive plooks, especially from the backs of necks. (a much neglected area by the young...) Blackheids, of their very nature, were particularly satisfying to extract as the curl of hardened puss suddenly relented under sustained pressure, forced off the 'black head' that had built up, and coiled down a dirty neck. Happy days... And weans nooadays complain about having nothing to do? Huh! We made our own fun, then. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ST SID Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Not as wierd as plook squeezing for sexual gratification purposes. I miss the adolescent eruptions that used to be on my back. An ex in my teenage years had a bizarre habit of squeezing them just at the tickly bit. Exquisite! The wife slapping you on the @rse with a firm kipper doesn't quite reach those youthful heady heights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crispian Crunchie Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Not as wierd as plook squeezing for sexual gratification purposes. I miss the adolescent eruptions that used to be on my back. An ex in my teenage years had a bizarre habit of squeezing them just at the tickly bit. Exquisite! The wife slapping you on the @rse with a firm kipper doesn't quite reach those youthful heady heights. Sid, you are a disgusting pervert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 The most disgusting creature on this thread is the sick weirdo that started it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Svensen Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 I feel sick... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ST SID Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Sid, you are a disgusting pervert. Takes one to know one Bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 I feel sick... That's perfectly interesting - but the point and interest of this thread is... WHAT will you do with it after spewing it up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty Sanchez Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 (edited) I'm suprised!! ...judging by your handle i thought you would have just wiped it on yer burds top lip!? Test. Edit: Fuxake,Darryl Duffy's Barmy Army? That's weird. Edited September 21, 2007 by Dirty Sanchez Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted September 22, 2007 Report Share Posted September 22, 2007 Putting my haun in my pocket and keeping it there !!! Sorry Saint Gav and Joe, i couldnae resist it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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