Reidy1987 Posted March 29, 2003 Report Share Posted March 29, 2003 Oooooooooooorrrrrr... Two coos are staunin in a field, which wan is on holiday? The wan wi the wee calf!!! Apologies to Farmer John for all the coo jokes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markovanhaddock Posted March 30, 2003 Report Share Posted March 30, 2003 Another coo joke...What's got horns, gives milk, wears a number 7 jersey and is heavily armed? A right-wing military coo! I'll get me milking stool... Reidy, i still owe u an apology. You told me that joke one day, I sent it to off the ball and won a t shirt, you can have a shot.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted March 30, 2003 Report Share Posted March 30, 2003 Another coo joke...What's got horns, gives milk, wears a number 7 jersey and is heavily armed? A right-wing military coo! I'll get me milking stool... Reidy, i still owe u an apology. You told me that joke one day, I sent it to off the ball and won a t shirt, you can have a shot.... No apology required, my fishy friend. Just admit that the "one nun dead and eighty" joke is the best joke you've ever heard. By the way, I remember posting the right-wing military coo joke on the old SO Guestbook and next day it came back to me, complete with typos, in one of those chain e-mails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted March 30, 2003 Report Share Posted March 30, 2003 Two nuns in the bath and one says to the other "Where's the soap?" The second turns and smiles and says "aye it sure does..." SOmeone gonnae explain that joke and the television one to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted March 30, 2003 Report Share Posted March 30, 2003 And then there were these two ducks flying over Northern Ireland. One turns to the other and says "quack, quack" And the other says "for f**k's sake, I'm flying as quack as I can!" I'll get me camouflage jacket... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted March 30, 2003 Report Share Posted March 30, 2003 Replace "where's" with "wears"Replace "made" with "maid" AAAAAAAAAAAAH get it now, cheers Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted March 30, 2003 Report Share Posted March 30, 2003 Of course there's also the polar bear joke. Now that IS a classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Lees Posted March 31, 2003 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2003 Of course there's also the polar bear joke. Now that IS a classic. Would that involve cutting a big hole in the ice and baiting it with peas ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Midnight Moses Posted March 31, 2003 Report Share Posted March 31, 2003 Not another coo joke What's the difference between a coo and the James Last Orchestra? A coo's got the horns at the front and a c**t at the back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Lees Posted March 31, 2003 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2003 A group of chess enthusiasts checked into the Caledonian Hotel for a big chess tourney. They gathered in the lobby, and were discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of his office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because," says the manager, "I cannae stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." *** reaches for overcoat **** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted March 31, 2003 Report Share Posted March 31, 2003 Would that involve cutting a big hole in the ice and baiting it with peas ? Naw. Think "Mammy, are you sure ahm 100% polar bear?"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Lees Posted April 2, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2003 When was the last time anybody heard a genuinely new joke ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted April 3, 2003 Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 When was the last time anybody heard a genuinely new joke ? I don't know, when was the last time anyone heard a genuinely new joke? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Lees Posted April 3, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2003 I don't know, when was the last time anyone heard a genuinely new joke? To get to the other side ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmer john Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 (edited) getting flashback heebie jeebies here to a different and strange world "the past is a foreign country, they do things differently there" ! Edited September 20, 2013 by farmer john Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintnextlifetime Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 getting flashback heebie jeebies here to a different and strange world "the past is a foreign country, they do things differently there" ! Indeed, some almost forgotten posters in there. . Anyway here is a crap joke. . why did the chicken cross the fitba' pitch? Because the ref' said it was a foul. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Buddie Posted September 23, 2013 Report Share Posted September 23, 2013 Did you hear aboot the wee boy who turned intae a pile of bricks? He's awa noo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Buddie Posted September 23, 2013 Report Share Posted September 23, 2013 and.... a wee lad from Ferguslie, unemployed for years, finally gets a job cleaning in the Casino in The Big City. One day, one of the croupiers phones in sick, and the manager asks yir wee lad to stand in. Suddenly, he discovers his mojo, finds out it's what he was meant to do, wee bit of flash, jokes with the punters, makes loads of dough for his tables. As it happens an executive for a sister casino in Vegas is paying a visit, and tells yir man he's destined for the big time, takes him to Vegas where he discovers the streets are paved with gold. Every night, he leaves with a showgirl on his arm, plays golf at least three times a week, goes bass fishing at weekends, drives a vintage Ford Mustang, the world is his oyster. Then one night, as he's going down the marble steps with yet another Miss World contestant on his arm, he slips and breaks his neck. Broon breid, deid. Shipped back to Woodside for the funeral, the minister is stading over the coffin giving the eulogy, and finishes off with the lines..."Here lies our beloved brother, but we should not be sad, he is in a better place"..and from the coffin a very faint sound could be heard.... Naw, ah'm f**kin' no!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSS Posted September 23, 2013 Report Share Posted September 23, 2013 and.... a wee lad from Ferguslie, unemployed for years, finally gets a job cleaning in the Casino in The Big City. One day, one of the croupiers phones in sick, and the manager asks yir wee lad to stand in. Suddenly, he discovers his mojo, finds out it's what he was meant to do, wee bit of flash, jokes with the punters, makes loads of dough for his tables. As it happens an executive for a sister casino in Vegas is paying a visit, and tells yir man he's destined for the big time, takes him to Vegas where he discovers the streets are paved with gold. Every night, he leaves with a showgirl on his arm, plays golf at least three times a week, goes bass fishing at weekends, drives a vintage Ford Mustang, the world is his oyster. Then one night, as he's going down the marble steps with yet another Miss World contestant on his arm, he slips and breaks his neck. Broon breid, deid. Shipped back to Woodside for the funeral, the minister is stading over the coffin giving the eulogy, and finishes off with the lines..."Here lies our beloved brother, but we should not be sad, he is in a better place"..and from the coffin a very faint sound could be heard.... Naw, ah'm f**kin' no!!!! So is the funny bit that he was still alive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qarsaan Posted September 23, 2013 Report Share Posted September 23, 2013 Here's wan, aw the way fae Thailand. Two Siamese twins wrote an autobiography .... Oor Wullie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Buddie Posted September 23, 2013 Report Share Posted September 23, 2013 (edited) So is the funny bit that he was still alive? No, it's a philosphical expose on the facile nature of religious dogma. PS he's no really alive, it's his ghost saying it (if you have to explain a joke, it's either not funny or the listener is too stupid to get it, mibbe it isnae funny, then again.....) Edited September 23, 2013 by Happy Buddie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSS Posted September 23, 2013 Report Share Posted September 23, 2013 No, it's a philosphical expose on the facile nature of religious dogma. PS he's no really alive, it's his ghost saying it (if you have to explain a joke, it's either not funny or the listener is too stupid to get it, mibbe it isnae funny, then again.....) It's definitely the 1st option....It's no funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraway saint Posted September 23, 2013 Report Share Posted September 23, 2013 It's definitely the 1st option....It's no funny. You're funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted September 23, 2013 Report Share Posted September 23, 2013 (if you have to explain a joke, it's not funny or the listener is too stupid to get it, mibbe it isnae funny, then again.....) it probably wisnae funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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