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Coconut Dug Joke

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The teacher turns to her Primary 1 class on a Monday morning. "Well, class, did you all have a nice weekend?" A room full of solemn faces nods back at her.

"Did anyone see anything interesting over the weekend?"

The faces now just look blank. "No-one?"

Now wee Susie puts her hand up tentatively.

"Yes Susie?" says the teacher encouragingly. "Well, I saw a wee dug in the park, chasin' a stick, after it's owner threw it fur him", said Susie.

"Good", said the teacher, smiling brightly. "Anyone else?". Now they're getting bolder. Wee Jimmy down the front sticks his hand up. "Yes Jimmy".

"Miss, miss, I saw a big Alsatian dug, chasin' a baw. It's owner kept chuckin' the baw, an' the big Alsatian kept runnin after it, it was pure brilliant, so it wis".

"Excellent Jimmy", said the teacher. As Jimmy had been speaking, wee Shug down the front had started bouncing in his seat. Now it was his turn.

"Miss, miss, miss, ah saw a coconut dug, so ah did!" "A coconut dog, Shug?" said the teacher, frowning. "I don't think so. There's no such thing".

"Aye ah did, Miss, ah did so". "Now, Shug" said the teacher, "you know it's wrong to lie."

Wee Shug was black affronted by this. "Ah did see a coconut dug Miss. It went past us in the park, an' ma maw said "Christ, look at the cock on 'at dug!!!"

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The teacher turns to her Primary 1 class on a Monday morning. "Well, class, did you all have a nice weekend?" A room full of solemn faces nods back at her.

"Did anyone see anything interesting over the weekend?"

The faces now just look blank. "No-one?"

Now wee Susie puts her hand up tentatively.

"Yes Susie?" says the teacher encouragingly. "Well, I saw a wee dug in the park, chasin' a stick, after it's owner threw it fur him", said Susie.

"Good", said the teacher, smiling brightly. "Anyone else?". Now they're getting bolder. Wee Jimmy down the front sticks his hand up. "Yes Jimmy".

"Miss, miss, I saw a big Alsatian dug, chasin' a baw. It's owner kept chuckin' the baw, an' the big Alsatian kept runnin after it, it was pure brilliant, so it wis".

"Excellent Jimmy", said the teacher. As Jimmy had been speaking, wee Shug down the front had started bouncing in his seat. Now it was his turn.

"Miss, miss, miss, ah saw a coconut dug, so ah did!" "A coconut dog, Shug?" said the teacher, frowning. "I don't think so. There's no such thing".

"Aye ah did, Miss, ah did so". "Now, Shug" said the teacher, "you know it's wrong to lie."

Wee Shug was black affronted by this. "Ah did see a coconut dug Miss. It went past us in the park, an' ma maw said "Christ, look at the cock on 'at dug!!!"

Get this blatantly racist joke deleted!!! :P

Edited by St. Sid

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A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.

The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency

and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.

'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'

The plane took off, and once it had levelled out, the Policeman said, 'Watch this.'

He told Sniffer to 'search'.

Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm.

The Policeman said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.

'Gee, that's pretty good,' replied the first man.

Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.

The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat,

and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm.

The Policeman said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'

'I like it !' said his seat mate..

The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again.

Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.

The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the Policeman, 'What's going on?'

The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.'

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The teacher turns to her Primary 1 class on a Monday morning. "Well, class, did you all have a nice weekend?" A room full of solemn faces nods back at her.

"Did anyone see anything interesting over the weekend?"

The faces now just look blank. "No-one?"

Now wee Susie puts her hand up tentatively.

"Yes Susie?" says the teacher encouragingly. "Well, I saw a wee dug in the park, chasin' a stick, after it's owner threw it fur him", said Susie.

"Good", said the teacher, smiling brightly. "Anyone else?". Now they're getting bolder. Wee Jimmy down the front sticks his hand up. "Yes Jimmy".

"Miss, miss, I saw a big Alsatian dug, chasin' a baw. It's owner kept chuckin' the baw, an' the big Alsatian kept runnin after it, it was pure brilliant, so it wis".

"Excellent Jimmy", said the teacher. As Jimmy had been speaking, wee Shug down the front had started bouncing in his seat. Now it was his turn.

"Miss, miss, miss, ah saw a coconut dug, so ah did!" "A coconut dog, Shug?" said the teacher, frowning. "I don't think so. There's no such thing".

"Aye ah did, Miss, ah did so". "Now, Shug" said the teacher, "you know it's wrong to lie."

Wee Shug was black affronted by this. "Ah did see a coconut dug Miss. It went past us in the park, an' ma maw said "Christ, look at the cock on 'at dug!!!"

Well , that is one version . . B)

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The teacher turns to her Primary 1 class on a Monday morning. "Well, class, did you all have a nice weekend?" A room full of solemn faces nods back at her.

"Did anyone see anything interesting over the weekend?"

The faces now just look blank. "No-one?"

Now wee Susie puts her hand up tentatively.

"Yes Susie?" says the teacher encouragingly. "Well, I saw a wee dug in the park, chasin' a stick, after it's owner threw it fur him", said Susie.

"Good", said the teacher, smiling brightly. "Anyone else?". Now they're getting bolder. Wee Jimmy down the front sticks his hand up. "Yes Jimmy".

"Miss, miss, I saw a big Alsatian dug, chasin' a baw. It's owner kept chuckin' the baw, an' the big Alsatian kept runnin after it, it was pure brilliant, so it wis".

"Excellent Jimmy", said the teacher. As Jimmy had been speaking, wee Shug down the front had started bouncing in his seat. Now it was his turn.

"Miss, miss, miss, ah saw a coconut dug, so ah did!" "A coconut dog, Shug?" said the teacher, frowning. "I don't think so. There's no such thing".

"Aye ah did, Miss, ah did so". "Now, Shug" said the teacher, "you know it's wrong to lie."

Wee Shug was black affronted by this. "Ah did see a coconut dug Miss. It went past us in the park, an' ma maw said "Christ, look at the cock on 'at dug!!!"

Never heard that before!

I presumed that it would be something stupid like its name was Bounty or Bound-Tae, something daft.

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The teacher turns to her Primary 1 class on a Monday morning. "Well, class, did you all have a nice weekend?" A room full of solemn faces nods back at her.

"Did anyone see anything interesting over the weekend?"

The faces now just look blank. "No-one?"

Now wee Susie puts her hand up tentatively.

"Yes Susie?" says the teacher encouragingly. "Well, I saw a wee dug in the park, chasin' a stick, after it's owner threw it fur him", said Susie.

"Good", said the teacher, smiling brightly. "Anyone else?". Now they're getting bolder. Wee Jimmy down the front sticks his hand up. "Yes Jimmy".

"Miss, miss, I saw a big Alsatian dug, chasin' a baw. It's owner kept chuckin' the baw, an' the big Alsatian kept runnin after it, it was pure brilliant, so it wis".

"Excellent Jimmy", said the teacher. As Jimmy had been speaking, wee Shug down the front had started bouncing in his seat. Now it was his turn.

"Miss, miss, miss, ah saw a coconut dug, so ah did!" "A coconut dog, Shug?" said the teacher, frowning. "I don't think so. There's no such thing".

"Aye ah did, Miss, ah did so". "Now, Shug" said the teacher, "you know it's wrong to lie."

Wee Shug was black affronted by this. "Ah did see a coconut dug Miss. It went past us in the park, an' ma maw said "Christ, look at the cock on 'at dug!!!"

Worst joke in the world.

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Following me all around the forum again I see...lol.gif1eye.gif

What's the matter, did "Tracy" turn you down as well as me? lol.gif

Irony alert........................medication needing increased?

Really, shouldn't you be in your strait jacket and locked up for the night?

Care in the community, not working. 1eye.gif1eye.gif1eye.gif

Edited by faraway saint

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