Useless Facts

[slapamythighs]

farts smell so deaf people can enjoy them aswell

[slapamythighs]

the last time rod stewart saw george alive was in the summer of 75

[Bearsden buddie]

In 1976 Ronald Wayne sold his 10% stake in Apple for $801. Now its worth $58,065,210,000.

[santaponsasaint]

Why is it everytime you wash the dishes when you empty the bowl theres always a tea spoon in the bottom of it

Edited August 15, 2013 by santaponsasaint

[pozbaird]

Why is it everytime you wash the dishes when you empty the bowl theres always a tea spoon in the bottom of it

Good question. Similarly, how come every time you go for a shite and didn't spot the lavvy roll only had two sheets left, you never, ever, have any paper hankies or equivalent in yer' trouser pockets?

[santaponsasaint]

Good question. Similarly, how come every time you go for a shite and didn't spot the lavvy roll only had two sheets left, you never, ever, have any paper hankies or equivalent in yer' trouser pockets?

Shitting outside and wiping your arse with a jaggy nettle

[HSS]

The Greek National Anthem has 158 verses.

[shull]

The Newcunto F.C. have 500 million erses.

[well st bud]

the town will be full of tchuters in october

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-23712507

[Guest somner9]

If you lie on your arm, then have a wank... it feels like a pensioner with Alzheimers doing it!

Unless that really was Dicko in my room last night

[oaksoft]

You can only fold a piece of paper on itself 6 times, after that it tears

I'm sure I heard somewhere that this was a myth.

For those with dogs who have experienced that fishy smell a dog sometimes leaves behind on your sofa.

It's anal leakage and is full of something called a base which produces the fish smell.

Don't immediately add bleach or detergent to it.

To remove, use diluted vinegar which is acidic and will neutralise the base. Detergent is usually also basic so won't help.

Then you may wish to use disinfectant AFTER the vinegar has removed the smell.

[pozbaird]

I'm sure I heard somewhere that this was a myth.

For those with dogs who have experienced that fishy smell a dog sometimes leaves behind on your sofa.

It's anal leakage and is full of something called a base which produces the fish smell.

Don't immediately add bleach or detergent to it.

To remove, use diluted vinegar which is acidic and will neutralise the base. Detergent is usually also basic so won't help.

Then you may wish to use disinfectant AFTER the vinegar has removed the smell.

Fishy smell because you've just had a dog on your sofa, eh?

Sure there's a gag here... nah, can't see one.

[Guest somner9]

I'm sure I heard somewhere that this was a myth.

For those with dogs who have experienced that fishy smell a dog sometimes leaves behind on your sofa.

It's anal leakage and is full of something called a base which produces the fish smell.

Don't immediately add bleach or detergent to it.

To remove, use diluted vinegar which is acidic and will neutralise the base. Detergent is usually also basic so won't help.

Then you may wish to use disinfectant AFTER the vinegar has removed the smell.

I use this.....

Don't fanny around prevention is always better than cure....

Mind you he don't half have some anal leakage when he sees this speeding towards said passage!

[Jumbo Whiffy]

I'm sure I heard somewhere that this was a myth.

For those with dogs who have experienced that fishy smell a dog sometimes leaves behind on your sofa.

It's anal leakage and is full of something called a base which produces the fish smell.

Don't immediately add bleach or detergent to it.

To remove, use diluted vinegar which is acidic and will neutralise the base. Detergent is usually also basic so won't help.

Then you may wish to use disinfectant AFTER the vinegar has removed the smell.

That's more a top tip than a useless fact. No good to me though cause I f**king hate the smell of vinegar.

So much so if someone spilt it on my sofa I may even clean it using a dog shite just to get rid of the smell.

Edited August 15, 2013 by Jumbo Whiffy

[linwood buddie]

Dont know if this has been done before, but on the back of the rumours to cheers us up thread, did you know that elephants cant jump, or that Costa Rica is the only country that doesn't have an army?

Any more?

The way the governments cutting our armed forces we won't have an army either .

[bluto]

the town will be full of tchuters in october

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-23712507

All saintnextlifetime's Buddies'll be dancing in the streets.

[Happy Buddie]

Cats always land on their feet

Although above ten storeys said feet are usually driven through their intestine and spine during touchdown

A mouse can fall from any height and survive, due to its surface area to weight ratio.

[bluto]

Many people (and many reference books) still give the incorrect height for Ben Nevis of 4406ft. I have always been one of those people, believing that later 'facts' I read about its height may be attributed to the genuine fact that the Northern end of the British Mainland (Scotland) is rising whilst (tragically) the South East Kent/Sussex/London) is sinking.

The Ben's post-war triangulation of 1964 gave the new height of 4418ft. But, and this is the main point, this height was that of the Flush Bracket at the base of the Survey Levelling plate built into the base of the Triangulation pillar and NOT of the ground height. As the pillar on the cairn is nine and a half feet high this makes the actual ground height of 4408ft 6 inches. Mountain heights are, by tradition, rounded down so the true height of Ben Nevis is 4,408ft.

All mountain heights in Britain are calculated from their altitude above Ordnance Datum which is the average elevation of the sea at Newlyn in Cornwall.

Interesting, eh?

[Callum Gilhooley]

The first bomb dropped on Berlin in WW2 killed an Elephant in the Zoo.

[FTOF]

Woodlice produce more nitrogenous waste than any other animal.

They also drink through their anus.

The latter fact isn't all that remarkable, given the number of individuals on here who appear to be able to talk through their anus.

[Barney63]

That cheeky Reg Varney was the first man to use a cashpoint

[oaksoft]

Fishy smell because you've just had a dog on your sofa, eh?

Sure there's a gag here... nah, can't see one.

I was gagging pretty hard the first time I smelt it let me tell you.

[oaksoft]

Many people (and many reference books) still give the incorrect height for Ben Nevis of 4406ft. I have always been one of those people, believing that later 'facts' I read about its height may be attributed to the genuine fact that the Northern end of the British Mainland (Scotland) is rising whilst (tragically) the South East Kent/Sussex/London) is sinking.

The Ben's post-war triangulation of 1964 gave the new height of 4418ft. But, and this is the main point, this height was that of the Flush Bracket at the base of the Survey Levelling plate built into the base of the Triangulation pillar and NOT of the ground height. As the pillar on the cairn is nine and a half feet high this makes the actual ground height of 4408ft 6 inches. Mountain heights are, by tradition, rounded down so the true height of Ben Nevis is 4,408ft.

All mountain heights in Britain are calculated from their altitude above Ordnance Datum which is the average elevation of the sea at Newlyn in Cornwall.

Interesting, eh?

I have now experienced what a coma feels like.

[HSS]

Someone,somewhere in the world stands on a land mine every 20 mins.

You think he'd be more careful.

[E=Mc2]

Calcium is a metal.