Jump to content

The Cricket Thread


shull

Recommended Posts


Getting excited, there's another game starting in a few days seemingly.

A massive waste of time although I'm sure they will rake in masses amount of money to help compensate for the tedious boredom of a nothing game.

PS Can't wait for a smarty pants to dive in and "explain" why they are playing a game that means nothing, I love education. rolleyes.gif

Edited by faraway saint
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Getting excited, there's another game starting in a few days seemingly.

A massive waste of time although I'm sure they will rake in masses amount of money to help compensate for the tedious boredom of a nothing game.

PS Can't wait for a smarty pants to dive in and "explain" why they are playing a game that means nothing, I love education. rolleyes.gif

Why do we continue with the SPL, Celtic are gonna win it & Hearts get relegated, we could just call it quits now - the issues are generally sorted before all the fixtures are completed. The Ashes are no different, the remaining two Tests are part of the larger competition between all civilized nations.

Edited by Bud the Baker
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why do we continue with the SPL, Celtic are gonna win it & Hearts get relegated, we could just call it quits now - the issues are generally sorted before all the fixtures are completed. The Ashes are no different, the remaining two Tests are part of the larger competition between all civilized nations.

Smarty pants.........................rolleyes.gif

PS It's still a shit game, almost as bad as American Football. happy.png

Edited by faraway saint
Link to comment
Share on other sites

England all out for 255.

Australia 164-9 in reply. 91 runs behind with 1 wicket remaining.

England must be favourites to win this one.

I take it all back.....

England getting pumped!!

Australia need 231 to win and make it 4-0 in the series smile.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I take it all back.....

England getting pumped!!

Australia need 231 to win and make it 4-0 in the series smile.png

Yeah, like many a broken team before them they've thrown away a decent position losing their last 5 wickets for just 6 runs and look favourites to lose from here. Australia knocked 30 runs off 8 overs without losing a wicket and I reckon they'll attack from ball one tomorrow (or should that be tonight?).

For all that Swann was desperate to finish Test cricket I think he did the team a disservice by resigning mid series - Panesar has yet to take a wicket and surely Swann would have scored more than the 2 runs Monty made this Test. A longer term issue is the Captaincy - Cook looks unimaginative in the field and you've got to wonder what would happen if there was a realistic alternative candidate.

Still funny things can happen in sport but it would take a peculiar turn of events for the outcome to be anything other than an another Australian victory.

*******************

Pretty much as expected Australia scoring @ 4.45 per over to win by 8 wickets shortly after the afternoon drinks break.

Edited by Bud the Baker
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 1



Australia 326


England 8/1 (6.0 ov)



***************



Reasonable day for England, probably a little disappointing after Australia were 5 down for 97 but the Aussies bat deep and 326 is no great total these days. England must be worried about their debutant bowlers Boyd Rankin's (crazy name, crazy guy 1eye.gif ) fitness and Borthwick going for 49 in 7 overs but what do you expect when you pick a bowler for his batting ability?



Australia scored their runs @ 4.28 per over and it'll be interesting to see how England go about things to-morrow - COYA!


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 1

Australia 326

England 8/1 (6.0 ov)

***************

Reasonable day for England, probably a little disappointing after Australia were 5 down for 97 but the Aussies bat deep and 326 is no great total these days. England must be worried about their debutant bowlers Boyd Rankin's (crazy name, crazy guy Posted Image ) fitness and Borthwick going for 49 in 7 overs but what do you expect when you pick a bowler for his batting ability?

Australia scored their runs @ 4.28 per over and it'll be interesting to see how England go about things to-morrow - COYA!

Sounds brilliant.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds brilliant.

You have more posts on this thread than anyone, from the Gabba to the SCG you've been there sounding bemused and bereft of understanding. I've tried to instruct you on the rhythm and romance of the game and this is classic Test Match cricket with one team imposing it's will on and then finally breaking the spirit of the other.

Then there's the pan-dimensional aspect of the game and current series which even as I type will be receiving intense scrutiny from in distant galaxies - who knows there's probably an alternate universe where England are winning - nah that's just too far-fetched.

Krikkit is a planet located in a dust cloud composed chiefly of the disintegrated remains of the enormous spaceborne computer Hactar.

Hactar & The Krikkit Wars

Hactar was originally created by the Silastic Armorfiends of Striterax to design the Ultimate Weapon. Hactar produced a very, very small bomb that, when activated, would connect every star to every other star, cause them to all go supernova simultaneously and, thus, destroy the universe. The bomb proved dysfunctional because Hactar had designed it with a tiny flaw, reasoning that no consequence could be worse than that of setting the bomb off. The Silastic Armorfiends disagreed and disintegrated Hactar into a dust cloud.

Due to the dust cloud, the sky above Krikkit was completely black, and thus the people of Krikkit led insular lives and never realised the existence of the Universe. With the population thus prepared, Hactar, disintegrated but still functional, built and crashed a model spaceship onto Krikkit in order to introduce its inhabitants to the concept of the Universe. Secretly guided by Hactar, the Krikkiters built their first spaceship, Krikkit One, penetrated the dust cloud, and surveyed the Universe before them. Unbeknownst to the Krikkiters, Hactar had been subliminally conditioning their minds to the point where they could not accept a Universe into their world view with the intention of putting them into a similar mindset to that of the Silastic Armorfiends. Sooner or later, they would require an Ultimate Weapon, and this would allow Hactar to finally complete his purpose, something he had felt considerably guilty about not doing before. Upon first witnessing the glory and splendor of the Universe, they casually, whimsically, decided to destroy it, remarking, "It'll have to go." Aided again by the mind of Hactar, the Krikkiters built an incredible battlefleet and waged a massive war against the entire Universe. The Galaxy, then in an era of relative peace, was unprepared, and spent the next 2,000 years fighting the Krikkiters in war that resulted in about two "grillion" casualties.

When Krikkit was eventually defeated,Judiciary Paq sentenced Krikkit and its sun to be sealed in a Slo-Time Envelope within which time would pass almost infinitely slowly until the end of the Universe, thus serving the dual purpose of protecting the Universe from Krikkit, and allowing the Krikkiters to enjoy a solitary existence in the twilight of Creation. Light would be deflected around the envelope, making it invisible and impenetrable. The Wikkit Gate, the key that would unlock the envelope, was disintegrated into time, and could therefore not be used to free the planet from the envelope ahead of time.

However, a Krikkit warship carrying deadly white robots of the kind used in the war escaped before the envelope was sealed, and, within a brief ten billion years, managed to reassemble the Wikkit Gate. The Gate was composed of the Steel Pillar of Strength and Power (Marvin the Paranoid Android's artificial leg), the Golden Bail of Prosperity (The Heart of Gold, the small golden box that makes the Infinite Improbability Drive function), the Perspex Pillar of Science and Reason (The Argabuthon Scepter of Justice; "Plastic Pillar" in the American version), the Silver Bail of Peace (The Rory Award For The Most Gratuitous Use Of The Word "f**k" In A Serious Screenplay; The Rory Award for the Most Gratuitous Use of the Word "Belgium" in a Serious Screenplay in the American version), and the Wooden Pillar of Nature and Spirituality (The reconstituted ashes of the stump signifying the death of English cricket: see The Ashes).

The robots unsealed the envelope, but Arthur Dent, Slartibartfast, Trillian, and Ford Prefect, with the unintentional help of Marvin, were able to disperse Hactar's particles, freeing the Krikkiters from his continued influence, and thus saving the Universe. Arthur then went to live on Krikkit for three years, before leaving for an unexplained reason. Krikkit also managed to leave other marks besides the destruction of numerous worlds: due to racial memories, the Earth sport of cricket and the pan-dimensional sport of Brockian Ultra-Cricket were based on the Krikkit Wars. Slartibartfast enjoys the game of cricket, but he notes that most sensible citizens of the galaxy find the sport to be in rather bad taste. The Krikketers are described as humanoid aliens who are charming and polite, despite their cosmocidal tendencies. They are capable of composing incredibly moving and poetic music. Some of the younger Krikketers are interested in developing sporting links with the rest of the Universe rather than destroying it.

Edited by Bud the Baker
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...