yani Posted June 24, 2014 Report Share Posted June 24, 2014 Anyone got any idea how to get a Crowd Funding project off the ground? I've reached the end of my rope with that shady accordionist that seems to have become a permanent fixture on the High Street and I'm starting to give serious thought to raising enough cash to permanently pay him off. His complete lack of musical ability has gone from being mildly amusing (before last xmas), to fecking hilarious (his repertoire of massacred xmas tunes that had my kids in stitches) but now enough is enough. Every day I have to listen to his Les Dawson-like attempts to master the one tune he seems to think he can play and it is becoming like some kind of living nightmare. Bad days become worse when he's providing the soundtrack. God only knows why the staff of nearby businesses have not yet formed a lynch mob. I've checked his takings each day I pass and he rarely has more than a couple of quid in front of him. Therefore, I reckon that setting a target of, say, £300 could be enough to get shot of him as this could represent almost a full year's earnings. It has got to the stage where my heart actually sinks when I approach that bit of the High Street and hear the unmistakable sound of his tortured instrument, letting me know that he's there again.. and again.. Every. Fecking. Day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted June 24, 2014 Report Share Posted June 24, 2014 Anyone got any idea how to get a Crowd Funding project off the ground? I've reached the end of my rope with that shady accordionist that seems to have become a permanent fixture on the High Street and I'm starting to give serious thought to raising enough cash to permanently pay him off. His complete lack of musical ability has gone from being mildly amusing (before last xmas), to fecking hilarious (his repertoire of massacred xmas tunes that had my kids in stitches) but now enough is enough. Every day I have to listen to his Les Dawson-like attempts to master the one tune he seems to think he can play and it is becoming like some kind of living nightmare. Bad days become worse when he's providing the soundtrack. God only knows why the staff of nearby businesses have not yet formed a lynch mob. I've checked his takings each day I pass and he rarely has more than a couple of quid in front of him. Therefore, I reckon that setting a target of, say, £300 could be enough to get shot of him as this could represent almost a full year's earnings. It has got to the stage where my heart actually sinks when I approach that bit of the High Street and hear the unmistakable sound of his tortured instrument, letting me know that he's there again.. and again.. Every. Fecking. Day. I accept the £300. Via Paypal pal ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yani Posted June 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2014 Investors will expect to hear evidence of complete musical incompetence before sanctioning any payout.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TPAFKATS Posted June 24, 2014 Report Share Posted June 24, 2014 One man's Napalm Death is another's Cliff Richard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stlucifer Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 One man's Napalm Death is another's Cliff Richard Yeh. GIVE ME NAPALM DEATH EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraway saint Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Our high street has a better class of musician. Good wee fiddle player and decent guitarist. I almost gave them money one day but stopped myself, they couldn't guarantee the money wasn't going to be used by a big drug cartel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Our high street has a better class of musician. Good wee fiddle player and decent guitarist. I almost gave them money one day but stopped myself, they couldn't guarantee the money wasn't going to be used by a big drug cartel. I use a simple principle in these circumstances. Never pay anything to street musicians unless they can provide you with a VAT receipt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraway saint Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 I use a simple principle in these circumstances. I'm as tight as a drum so fcukem That's pretty much my underlying view. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pod Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 One man's Napalm Death is another's Cliff Richard Wrong way round. Cliff Richard is another man's Napalm Death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yani Posted June 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Your biggest problem is you go onto the high street. Of course I do - where else in Paisley am I supposed to hand over my bank details to hipsters in Oxfam / Greenpeace / Shelter / Save The Children kagouls, while collecting flyers for crappy take aways as I bodyswerve zombies muttering "scuse me big chap got a spare fag furra joint?"..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraway saint Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Of course I do - where else in Paisley am I supposed to hand over my bank details to hipsters in Oxfam / Greenpeace / Shelter / Save The Children kagouls, while collecting flyers for crappy take aways as I bodyswerve zombies muttering "scuse me big chap got a spare fag furra joint?"..? Oh, don't start a "Paisley is like Paris in the spring" debate again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Oh, don't start a "Paisley is like Paris in the spring" debate again. How no ??? It's full of tourists tae. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraway saint Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 I'm not afraid to admit it, Paisley is an absolute c**t of a town centre. From the pubs to the shops and the restaurant's not one place in Paisley that you would chose to eat in. FFS, you'll be getting it now................................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yani Posted June 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 I'm not afraid to admit it, Paisley is an absolute c**t of a town centre. From the pubs to the shops and the restaurant's not one place in Paisley that you would chose to eat in. Most damning comment I ever heard was a couple of years ago when I was walking through the Piazza with an English guy who was visiting the town with a band that were playing the Town Hall. He told me he felt like he was walking through a medieval village and half expected to see chickens wandering around.. Harsh, but hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yani Posted June 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Are you really the accordionist and you're just trying to make a quick £300? Dammit. Rumbled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopCat Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 I say we sign up this guy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callum Gilhooley Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Could be worse, it could be the "Guitarist" who is a constant fixture outside Morrisons in Erskine !! On occasion he is joined by two of his eastern European mates who proceed to murder a selection of not so popular tunes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E=Mc2 Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 I say we sign up this guy: I remember, during the eighties, staying at the Moat House Hotel near Blackburn Lancs. with a few furniture retailers. The singer Meatloaf and his band arrived late one night after a gig and came into the bar. He had an entourage of lovely tall ladies. One of the older retailers had a furniture shop in Crosshouse near Kilmarnock, long gone now. Meatloaf chatted to us and the retailer from Crosshouse (I wish I could remember his name) began playing the spoons. Meatloaf and the ladies were totally enthralled. Great night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluto Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 I remember, during the eighties, staying at the Moat House Hotel near Blackburn Lancs. with a few furniture retailers. The singer Meatloaf and his band arrived late one night after a gig and came into the bar. He had an entourage of lovely tall ladies. One of the older retailers had a furniture shop in Crosshouse near Kilmarnock, long gone now. Meatloaf chatted to us and the retailer from Crosshouse (I wish I could remember his name) began playing the spoons. Meatloaf and the ladies were totally enthralled. Great night. Great anecdote! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TPAFKATS Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 Great anecdote! Great night, great anecdote, pish accordionist.Still, two outta three ain't bad... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickMcD Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 We had a problem over here last year with a dame who thought she could play the guitar and sing. I've maybe heard worse guitar playing but I've never heard a worse singer. She wore a big tall top hat like a leprechaun so she was called The Mad Hat Lady. Folk used to offer her £1 if she'd shut up but she went buck mad when that happened. The Peelers were always picking her up for taking a swing at folk. She tried Belfast for a while but as we all know they don't take prisoners up there so she soon came back to Bangor showing her bruises. Haven't seen her for a couple of months so I hope she's buggered off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Dickson Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 Ah all this brings me to mind the guy who used to "entertain" the queues waiting to get into the Odeon at Renfield Street in Glasgow circa 1990's. He had a number of musical instruments from a mouth organ, flute and one of those kids Melodica type things. The guy obviously had some sort of brain injury but his thing was to play a few notes and then hold his cap out in front of you for money. He was utterly shit but I remember one night the guy in the queue in front of us asked if he did requests. The busker said he did - what would he like to hear. The punter said "Dunno, something in A minor", and the busker promptly blew into his mouth organ, played his usual two or three notes in the same key, then sung "A minor.....A minor" and promptly put his cap out for payment. So funny I think I gave him a fiver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraway saint Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 Ah all this brings me to mind the guy who used to "entertain" the queues waiting to get into the Odeon at Renfield Street in Glasgow circa 1990's. He had a number of musical instruments from a mouth organ, flute and one of those kids Melodica type things. The guy obviously had some sort of brain injury but his thing was to play a few notes and then hold his cap out in front of you for money. He was utterly shit but I remember one night the guy in the queue in front of us asked if he did requests. The busker said he did - what would he like to hear. The punter said "Dunno, something in A minor", and the busker promptly blew into his mouth organ, played his usual two or three notes in the same key, then sung "A minor.....A minor" and promptly put his cap out for payment. So funny I think I gave him a fiver. That was Shull before he took to driving taxis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 (edited) Anyone been to Manchester, near the Arndale centre? There's a bloke there who sits on a folding camp chair, plays blues electric guitar and sings stuff by Chuck Berry etc. He's bloody good. Edit. He's the 'Mancunian Hoochie Coochie Man'. Good stuff, get your arse up to Paisley and kick that accordionist's behind. Edited June 27, 2014 by pozbaird Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TPAFKATS Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 Aye, poz, I recall him from a trip 2 years ago. I'm going back in about 10 days, don't think I'll be in that area but I'll keep a lookout if I am! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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