slapamythighs Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 getting a new job with BEAR scotland,,one of my duties will be "messaging" on gantrys,,,,got a few ideas,dont know if i will get away with them,,what do you all think,,, if you dont want to do over 50,get off the fkn motorway. dip your lights you ejit dont use indicators,we will guess what lane you want lane ahead closed,drive right up to the cones then pull in,if your in a hurry suddenly pull in,in front of the 40 footer,he does not need all that room to break just a few,,,please add more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickMcD Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 getting a new job with BEAR scotland,,one of my duties will be "messaging" on gantrys,,,,got a few ideas,dont know if i will get away with them,,what do you all think,,, if you dont want to do over 50,get off the fkn motorway. dip your lights you ejit dont use indicators,we will guess what lane you want lane ahead closed,drive right up to the cones then pull in,if your in a hurry suddenly pull in,in front of the 40 footer,he does not need all that room to break just a few,,,please add more Good stuff! I assume it was coincidence that your new job was just above the jobby thread on the menu. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 Driving up to the cones when road ahead is closed and entering consecutively is by far the best procedure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E=Mc2 Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 Driving up to the cones when road ahead is closed and entering consecutively is by far the best procedure. I have to disagree here with the Shullster. The problem is with a lack of anticipation on behalf of other drivers. If all drivers tried to flow into the narrowing road ahead without using their brakes then all would be well. What really happens is some drivers note the loss of a lane ahead and speed to get to the front and when pulling in they brake causing those behind to brake interrupting a potential smooth flowing line of traffic. As we all know using brakes is a waste of fuel as you have used fuel to produce the energy to go forward that you then loss by braking. Of course, drivers are so feckin' useless they could not, no matter how hard they tried, drive without braking even if asked to go round in a circle. https://youtu.be/7wm-pZp_mi0 So Shully is probably right after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TediousTom Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) Undertaking is good Braking distance is a myth, get right up the sheuch of the erse of the car in front! When an accident occurs on the opposite carriageway please slow down to 3mph in order to get as good a look as possible. When re-entering the motorway from the hard shoulder please pull straight out, do not use the hard shoulder to accelerate in thus allowing you to merge effortlessly and safely with the traffic as this is less fun. Sit aimlessly in the middle lane at all times if doing 55mph or driving a Nissan Micra. If the White Cart viaduct has free flowing traffic please slow down for no apparent reason until the Hillington cut off. This part of the road is best enjoyed over a 15 minute period. Edited March 7, 2016 by TediousTom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintnextlifetime Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) When you wish to move from the middle lane into the overtaking lane , wait until a vehicle in the overtaking has closed to within 45 ft of you ,then pull right out, ONLY then BEGIN TO ACCELERATE. . Edited March 7, 2016 by saintnextlifetime Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beyond our ken Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 1 metre is too far away from the car in front at 70 MPH, try to get closer. Wait until the junction is alongside before leaving the motorway Yeah, those big exhausts make the car SO cool you are all doomed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whydowebother Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 My road , My rules ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 getting a new job with BEAR GRYLLS He will have you drinking yir ain pish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E=Mc2 Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 He will have you drinking yir ain pish. It beats spouting it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DougJamie Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 "IF YOUR TIRED OR FAT REMEMBER TO TAKE A BREAK" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 "IF YOUR TIRED OR FAT REMEMBER TO TAKE A BREAK" BUT IF YOU ARE FAT, GIVE THE KIT KAT A MISS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 "Remember to utilise a bent pinky finger as a hand signal to indicate to the arrogant wanker in the Range Rover that he likely has a dinky wee penis". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TPAFKATS Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 "Remember to utilise a bent pinky finger as a hand signal to indicate to the arrogant wanker in the Range Rover that he likely has a dinky wee penis". Driving up to the cones when road ahead is closed and entering consecutively is by far the best procedure.I don't think either of these will fit?COMPLY WITH RED X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonny Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 'Feel free to give two fingers to taxi drivers who think they own the road' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 I don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank McGarvey' wonky legs Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 Get out the middle lane ya twat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintnextlifetime Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 Don't be a Vol*o driver all your life. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 I don't hog it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murray street Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 getting a new job with BEAR scotland,,one of my duties will be "messaging" on gantrys,,,,got a few ideas,dont know if i will get away with them,,what do you all think,,, if you dont want to do over 50,get off the fkn motorway. dip your lights you ejit dont use indicators,we will guess what lane you want lane ahead closed,drive right up to the cones then pull in,if your in a hurry suddenly pull in,in front of the 40 footer,he does not need all that room to break just a few,,,please add more STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE YA DIRTY CÜNT DO YOU THINK WE CAN'T SEE YOU???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saltcoatsbuddie Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 where are the workmen that are supposed to be doing the roadworks ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whydowebother Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 If only St Mirren had a scoreboard you could read as well as this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insaintee Posted March 7, 2016 Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 He will have you drinking talking yir ain pish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapamythighs Posted March 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 thanks for all the contrabutions,,,,,may use the "major accident on opposite cariageway,feel free to slow down and have a look,theres blood,guts and everything".... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.