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Wayne Rooney

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I think we'll find that Mr Rooney, or My Client, as he will hereafter be referred to, has a rare and serious, but hitherto undiagnosed medical condition, which artificially raises his blood alcohol level whenever he is in close quarters to others in public bars, lounges and particularly champagne bars. It is important this is not misconstrued as evidence that My Client has himself consumed a right swally. This complaint is understood to date back to extensive contact with a former manager from the Govan area of Glasgow who had a curiously related gastric condition which came to light when he needed to speed past ordinary mortals on the hard shoulder of the motorway.

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If he had driven home a bit faster, he could have nipped into his house and had a couple of glasses of whisky.
No problem getting off with it then.:whistle

Although it's rumoured the beetle wasn't his or his wife's so mibees not suitable to turn up at home with it

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3 hours ago, pozbaird said:

Embarassing... on the way home he was roasted at the traffic lights by Paolo Nutini in a Mini.

I'm sure that Paolo will pass on his lawyers number if Wayne gives him a  call .

:lol:

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