[Two Iraqi Jokes ....]

What do you mean, Sid...

I was only reporting what Saddam said!!!

Cheers, Kev

[Two Iraqi Jokes ....]

Saddam sends one of his sons to the Supermarket to get some bits and pieces. His son duly obliges and comes back 30 mins later with a box full of grocceries...

Saddam: "Why did you get a f**kin box, son???"

Son: Cause there's no f**kin bag, dad!!!"

Cheers, Kev

[Top Five Goals]

1. Ronnie Radford vs Newcastle (1972)

2. Justin Fashanu vs Forest (1980's)

3. Trevor Sinclair

4. Ronaldo for Barca in 96

5. Phil Jevons vs Liverpool (2001)

Cheers, Kev

[Top Five Own Goals]

a german goalie for armenia bielefield(?) - he watched the ball drop down, bounce of his napper and into the net - hilarious!!!

That was the funniest one ever...

Remember the first time I saw it thought it was in slow motion. The boy just stood there watching it come down then let it bounce off his head into the net. Superb!!!

Was there not one like that in EPL last season too where a Soton defender cleared the ball about 40 yards vertically then it came straight back down bounced and spun back into the net with Paul Jones just staring!!!

Cheers, Kev

[Top Five Scots Words.....]

There is a quality bit in "Not The End Of The World" where a guy from Motherwell talks to an American woman about "thon eejit". She then asks who Johnny Jit is

Situation once where a Scottish guy said to some English dude, "It's me, do you no ken???"...

English guy replies, "No, where does he work???"

Cheers, Kev

[Adverts]

"Have you had an accident at work... John stepped on a bit of wood so sued the tree-cutters for £22,000"

Severe tit pain caused by that one.

Cheers, Kev

[Top 5 National Anthems]

I'm not gonna pretend I know what you dudes are on about...

But I like the old Soviet one and the French one.

Cheers, Kev