Bill Lees
-
Posts
642 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Store
Posts posted by Bill Lees
-
-
I remember when there was just the one flavour of crisp....... but what was the second widely available flavour ?
'Twas your Cheese n' Onion, of course - followed swiftly by your Salt n' Vinegar (still the best flavour, methinks), then Smokey Bacon. But it's true that Tudor were the exotic feckers as far as crisp flavours went. Their pickled onion flavour was a stroke of genius. They actually made a kipper flavour - aye, that's right, kipper flavour. Not as bad as you might think, but it never took on. As for their vanilla and anchovy flavour .........
-
-
1. Gordon Ramsey. Psychotic Bully, w****r, and former Rangers player. What utter pish is that Hell's Kitchen mallarkey ?
2. Andrew Neill. Paisley's most infamous Tory, favourite of Thatcher, ex-Grammarian, and irritating as f**k TV presenter.
3. Adrian ("A.A.") Gill. Enough said.
4. Jeremy Clarkson. Again, 'nuff said.
5. Any daytime TV presenter. But especially Alice Beer. Mind, if she was gaggin' furrit, I might just oblige (but that's a whole different thread)....
-
How do you become an actress ?
Stand in front of the fire until you're Googie Withers....
How do you become a poet ?
Stand in front of the fire until you're Rabbie Burns .......
Man goes into a butcher's shop and asks the butcher :
"Is that your Ayrshire bacon ?"
Butcher replies :
"No, I'm just warming it by the fire ...."
I'll get my stripey apron .............
-
1. Baseball caps and the w****rs (mostly) who wear them.
2. The expression "absolutely". As in "Did you remember to pick up a loaf of bread ?" "Absolutely." What the feck is wrong with "yes" ?
3. The expression "back to back". I'll say no more.
4. Ann Widdecombe.
5. The Old Firm. Obviously.
-
Sadowitz is actually a thoroughly offensive wee shi te who gets away with stuff that if it was coming from Bernard Manning or Jim Davidson would quite rightly be condemned, on some completely spurious basis that he's somehow being "ironic" or "alternative". I know he markets himself as having no boundaries, but some of the anti-semitic and racist stuff he comes out with is simply crap, and not in anyway "ironic" or even verging on funny. Brilliant conjuror, mind.
Anyway, how could anyone have left out Chic ?
1. Chic Murray.
2. Arnold Brown.
3. Ivor Cutler (not strictly a comedian, I'll grant you, but he's so surreal it's just amazing.)
4. Rikki Fulton.
5. Connolly (grudgingly, because his tongue's that far up Prince Charles's arris it's practically poking out his ear - or maybe that just is his ear
-
Just thought I'd mention that, by the cringe, our own Kirsty Wark is looking pretty damned stiffy-inducing at the moment. She's in right good shape. Apologies, Donna, if you're still reading this - furry boots urr yeez ?
-
Okay :
1. The Producers.
2. Duck Soup.
3. Some Like It Hot.
4. Young Frankenstein.
5. Monkey Business.
-
Right - I'm well aware that most of you lot out there consider yourselves to be right hard b@stards. But I was at Love Street on April the 29th, 2000, and I know that I wasn't alone in standing there on the terraces after full time and weeping buckets on that most emotional of occasions. The question is, having admitted (as you all surely will) to being unable to resist the watter-works kicking in on at least that one occasion, how many others are there ? I'm talking fillums here, and why ? Because I've just been watching a fillum on DVD called "About Schmidt", which features a simply magnificent performance by Jack Nicholson, and an ending which I defy anybody not to be a hopeless, bubbling, gibbering wreck on witnessing. I was, and so was Mrs. L. As far as greeting at fillums goes, Big Jack in "About Schmidt" has just leapt straight to number one for me. Here's a wee stab at filling in the other top four :
1. "About Schmidt" Oor Jack - 'nuff said.
2. "Cinema Paradiso" - I'm filling up just thinking about it.
3. "Cyrano De Bergerac" - the one with Depardieu, natch.
4. "Manon des Sources" - Yves Montand and Daniel Autueil equally tragic.
5. "It's A Wonderful Life" - gets ya every time.
Any further suggestions ?
P.S. - "Ghost" - the wifie next to me in the cinema was inconsolable and blowing snot like there was no tomorrow at the end - and it was contagious - I just couldnae help but join in. Meanwhile, Mrs. L. was scoffing contemptuously at us both.........
-
YES! a right sexy old burd
It's MORSE not Morris. She's Gary Oldman's elder sister and apparenty Leila Morse is an anagram of something
It's an anagram of "mia sorella" - Italian for "my sister" - apparently. Lord knows why.
-
1. The wifie as presents the TV show "Property Ladder" - Sarah Beeny, I believe. I can't keep my eyes off her - ahem - headlamps.
2. Kirsty Wark. Woof !
3. Francine Stock. Double Woof !
4. Tracey Emin (okay, this one's very borderline.
5. Sian Lloyd (what a gob! )
* Retires, full of self-loathing and shame *
-
Or in TL's case (where is the fecker ?) just the one :
- It is important to find a woman.
-
Welcome, Infamous. Fancy a pint ?
-
At last! Ah've been looking for somewhere tae park ma bike!
Never heard that particular euphemism before .........
-
Why so much space in between?
you mean between his ears ?
-
I feckin' hate Christmas .........
-
Copyright "Ygorra" circa 1969.......
What's the difference between a highly rated Chinese Chef and a lighthouse keeper ?
Well, one ranks on his wok.....
What's the difference between a man who notices a foul smell emanating from his volumes of 14th century Italian allegorical literature and a transvestite ?
Well, one has a pong in his Dantes ..............
Coat, please !
-
what was that backward overhead clap all about ?
Dunno, but it sounds bloody painful !
-
[Replies: 145
Views: 2,405Â QUOTE (Stuart Dickson @ Oct 3 2003, 11:27 AM)
Fannybaws, FYI, the fall out with the Official site wasn't because I couldn't handle the stick, it was because of some really unfair moderating where I wasn't allowed to give as good as I was getting from one particular member of the official web team.
Sure the same might happen here, but I don't think Div is as heavy handed.
Aye, those official site moderators are a bunch of bampots, Stuart. You'll be okay here - we B&W Army moderators are all good guys. Just don't go challenging me to any fightsÂ
Bullshit alert Bullshit alert Bullshit alert Bullshit alert
Caught again.
How do you explain your posting from Oct 3 then?
How do I explain it ? Because it wasn't serious criticism - as anyone with half a brain could have worked out. Get real.
-
Joe - I have never claimed to be either an authority on St Mirren or a huge St Mirren personality - I have no idea where you've got those ideas from. I'm a St Mirren supporter. I have views on the club I support. I sometimes post some of them on the internet (as you and many others also do). End of story.
And just for the record, I have never criticised the official site's web team on this site. If I wish to criticise them, I'll go to them. Happily, Kenny and company are always happy to take any criticism in a constructive way.
By the way, what's the "it's my ball attitude" ?
-
Selective memory as well bill
Does "knuckle dragging neanderthal" ring any bells?
Is that really what this little vendetta is all about ? Okay, then Joe, I'm very sorry that I once called you that. That better ?
-
That's where you are wrong lees, I do have the balls, my name is Joe, and I was at the Ayr game on saturday with Tom.
I will be at the Ayr game on December 6th With Tom (probably) so we can have a formal introduction then.
And, as I have said to you before (on a private pm) on the official site during the tom hendrie situation, I wouldn't say anything on here that I wouldn't say to your face.
I think you are obnoxious, arrogant and full of shit.
You comment on games that you haven't seen and you basically comment on most subjects without much authority.
You have an over inflated idea of your own self importance, I fear no one and certainly not a tedious lounge lizard pub bore like yourself.
If you pm me then we can discuss this in private and I will give you my e-mail address.
Over to you Bawbag Bill
Ahh, it's Joe. I see. First thing to say Joe, is that you're wrong about me commenting on games I haven't seen. That would be very very difficult to do, as far as I can tell, so I make a point specifically of not doing it. I might occasionally remark on or enquire about what someone who has been to a game has to say about it, but that's as far as it goes.
If you're looking for a formal introduction, no problem - but I think it's a little hard of you to be having such a public downer on me before we've even been formally introduced.
I'm obnoxious ? How ? What have I said or done to offend you - or anybody else ? I'm arrogant ? Maybe. I don't think so, but then I probably would, wouldn't I? And if I'm arrogant, what does that make you, with your splenetic personal abuse of me ? I'm full of shit ? Fair enough, Joe, we've all got points of view. We've all got opinions. I may not agree with many of yours, but I do think we should try and keep things civilised. By and large on this forum we do, Joe - you're blotting the collective copybook here.
Finally, you're also wrong about my over inflated idea of my own (who else's?) self-importance, although how you can assess that on the basis of a few postings on an internet website I'm at a loss to say. I'm really not inclined to get into e-mail correspondence with you, Joe, on the basis of your abusive attitude to me so far - that's why I blocked you on my PM list.
-
I don't understand why so many people are having a pop at Bill, I just don't see what he does that others find offensive.
It isn't "so many people", Tom - it's one person. What's puzzling is that as far as I know, he doesn't know me and I don't know him - or at least I have to assume so since he's such a keyboard hero that he doesn't have the balls to say who he is. Anybody can abuse people from behind an alias, at a safe distance (300 miles is fairly safe), and over the internet. If it helps "Dan Petic's" delusions of adequacy, then fair enough.
-
For some reason, that just put me in mind of a scene from the fillum Goldmember, wheere Dr. Evil's Scottish (!) henchman, Fat Bast@rd, lets one rip, wafts the gas up under his own nose, sniffs, and says "Everrybuddy likes thurr own braand, don't they ?"
Top 5 Frank Zappa
in Top Fives
Posted