The Rivaldo : When the ball is kicked towards you by an opposing player and hits on the thigh, fall to the ground clutching your face as if mortally wounded, then watch in satisfaction as the gullible ref red-cards your innocent opponent.
The Schumacher : Simply execute a violent assault on an advancing opponent, preventing a goal and enabling your side later to progress to winning a penalty shoot-out in which you play a large part. Chuckle in satisfaction as the ref shows you merely a yellow card.