Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes
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Posts posted by Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes
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Never been one for Friends, Frasier (though sometimes) or Spin City. Blackadder is the best comedy program ever made and, as such, I have the lot on vidjoe. But what, pray tell, is AWP?
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Okay, this goes against the thread but.....
Favourite advert of recent years was the big bill poster Irn Bru advert with the cow saying "When I'm a burger I want to be washed down with Irn Bru".
Classic stuff that eventually got banned due to Animal Rights activists having bugger all sense of humour.
Sh*te telly adverts? The Fiat Uno one with the daft tosser poor excuse for a bloke saying "Don't you want me, baby?" when she locks the car doors then "WHOA, whoa w whoa!". Drive on, sweetheart. In fact, right into teh feckin' petrol pump and blevy everyone to smithereens like yeez feckin' deserve!
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Ooohhh me sides!!!! *sniff* Stop it, you lot, I'm gaunnae fall off my seat and hurt myself!
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Reidy are you sure Cuthbert wore a sou-wester? I always thought it was a pith helmet. You also neglected to inform that he used to hit himself on the head with his walking stick.
And legend has it that the guy was a genius, was from a very well-to-do family and that his brain did indeed get frazzled due to too much thinking. They used to send him out in the morning and he would wander around town all day then go home at night. An existence as futile as Falkirk winning the league.
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Er....actually I was thinking of....
Oh when the Saints go marching in,
Oh when the Saints go marching in,
I wanna be in that number,
When the Saints go marching in.
Bongo add "tube" to your name, you rumpled up postmaster schemie Neilsonian git.
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For yours truly, in no particular order:-
1. Sydney. Sunshine, sand, Sheilas, shandies and shenanigans.
2. Prague. Cheap and gorgeous.
3. Noo Yawk. Well, I have to, really.
4. Amsterdam. Prostitues like you wouldn't believe! Plus loadsa hash and loads beer in some lovely architecture. F*ck all that Majorca pish.
5. Cornwall. Great place to get drunk and have sex when you're 15. So I'm told.
Others worth a mention:- South Africa - beautiful & wild but a bit mental; Munich - You wanna beer festival? You've come to the right place! Mexico - Acapulco is a bit of a cowp but is one PARTY TOWN!!!!
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Apologies for that Horst Wessel nonsense. Just seeing if anyone was awake. Even the Germans are embarrassed by that one, however I know a couple of Saints fans who sang it in a pub in Bordeaux during France '98 and, believe it or not, a number of locals joined in. Hmmmm
As far as I'm concerned there should be one anthem for the world. Something to do with hope & happiness for all. That one day we will all be together in where we're going. That we all have hope in going to that happy place. That we're not only going there we're propelling ourselves forward. Can anyone think of such a song.....?
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The Scar Strangled Banner is the most pompous and arrogant piece of tosh ever to be committed to the ear drums. Land of the free, is it? Home of the brave? Yeah, it's free as long as you say what everyone else wants and you don't upset the status quo. As for home of the brave well it was before all the white blokes turned up and slaughtered them. America the Beautiful? Who says the Yanks don't get irony?
The French anthem is the only one that really does the biz. World Cup final '98. France, inventors of the international competition and beaten World Cup semi-finalists on four previous occasions, are finally doing the business against champions Brazil in front of a massive TV audience. However, Desailly gets his marching orders. Will the French wilt? Do they have the character to hold on? Will the Brazillians power their way back?
Then it starts. The fans chanting La Marseillese. Quietly at first then building up as it catches on around the stadium. It gets louder and louder. The crowd in the pub is silenced as Les Bleus afficionados rise, with one voice, to a glorious, lust-filled crescendo, playing the part of The Twelfth Man exactly when it's needed. The hairs rise on the backs of ALL our necks as we applaud our European friends.
Emmanuel Petit, in the final minute, runs the length of the park and tucks it away to make it three.
Only a song sung by the people about a famous and magnificent victory by the people can give such heart. From such stuff legends are made.
VIVE LE FRANCE!!!!!
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The Horst Wessel.
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Now you come to mention it, yes, I think it was Davis. A marathon, as you said. Ig I recall properly Davis was wearing pink shorts. Hmmmm.
The Sean O'Grady one was a belter. The daft b*****d turned up at Parkhead the previous Saturday and stood in the centre circle wearing a Celtic jersey waving to the crowd. Then went to Ibrox to fight Jim Watt. What the hell did he think would happen????
Bit of controversy to that fight; O'Grady had the upper hand when there was an accidental clash of heads. It opened a cut on O'Grady's forehead which ultimately lead to the fight being stopped. Many Green Bigots at the time and since have claimed Watt cheated O'Grady out of the fight. And they were all bloody Scottish as well! Feckin' traitors, that lot, to a man. They're the real Taliban. Ach, f**k, I can't WAIT for this game on Burns' Night!
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I coulda sworn that went the distance. Mibbe it's the Howard Davis fight I'm thinking of. Well, shows you what I get for trying to be a know-all smartarse!
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Other fights worthy of a mention:-
1. My mate Stevie Anderson and his brother John lamping seven shades of brown stuff out of a bunch of wee neds who thought they were being smart when mouthing off to them.
2. Celtic Soccer Casuals at Love St. in the away end chanting at the LSD. The proper Celtic fans then proceeded to give them an utter, utter hiding, blood and teeth flying everywhere. Only time I've had anything good to say about the Green Bigots.
3. Aberdeen, Boxing Day 1990. We went in fancy dress and lost to a last minute goal. Fighting broke out at the beach end when the game finished. All I remember seeing from the top of the stairs looking to the other side of the road was Donald Duck, Bashful the dwarf and two halves of a pantomime cow charging at the sheepsters, throwing punches then retreating swiftstyle.
4. Italy V. Chile, World Cup 1962. Seen it on telly a few times. Never ceases to amaze how there was only two players sent off. Chest high tackles, booting folk up the hin' end, headbutts, broken legs, the lot. And that was from the first minute to the last.
5. Jack McIlroy V. Tam Pentland, dinner hall, John Neilson High School, one interval in 1983. Absolute feckin' mayhem! All over the place, knocking tables & chairs out the road, everyone watching from outside. Even the pals they had on their sides kept well clear. Teachers never bothered to to break it up, they just called in the Plods. When they got there the head-bouncing-off-windows count had reached double figures, tables were upturned, chairs were broken in several pieces. Amazingly, they only got suspended. And none were directed to the nearest boxing coach. Damn! Chance missed.
Fights we'd love to have seen:-
1. Billy Abercromby V. Chic Charnley.
2. Billy Abercromby V. Ian Ferguson.
3. Chic Charnley V. Ian Ferguson.
4. Ian Ferguson V. Ian Ferguson.
5. Love Street Syndrome V. There's A Store Where The Creatures Meet
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Amazed at the lack of Jim Watt mentions.
1. Best fight I've seen was when Watt beat Sean "Headbutt" O'Grady. That was feckin' superb! Whiney, whingeing psuedo Irish Yank versus a Scottish bloke? No contest and, after an accidental right good stookie, it wasn't.
2. Leonard V. Duran circa 1981. Leonard took the absolute c*nt out of Duran. Dropped his guard and stuck his chin out for Duran to hit then drew back just in time. An absolute pisstake of the highest order.
3. Ali V. Foreman, as Wilbur says, shows incredible self-discipline. Ali never told anyone what he was going to do and people feared for him. Ach, look if you wanna know just watch the film When We Were Kings. Great stuff.
4. Another great fight was Jim Watt against Irishman Charlie Nash. Went the distance and for once I could actually see there was more to this thing than guys just knocking lumps out of each other. Both fought a great fight and were complimentary of each other. Watt won on points and another defence of his title was under his belt.
5. Barry McGuigan V. Eusebio Pedroza. The Clones Cyclone was one of the few people to unite the whole of Northern Ireland and the Republic into not giving a monkey's about sectarianism when he did the business at Loftus Road back in '85. Of course, when asked for a word afterwords he said "I'd like to thank you, Harry, for comin' along, I'd like to thank everyone for their support, I'd like to thank the viewrs at home, I'd like to thank Pedroza for giving me a chance.." it was like a bloody Oscars acceptance speech!
Honourable mentions go to Alan Minter getting his arse felt against Marvellous Marvin Hagler, Ali V. Frazer, Watt V. Howard Davis and Paisley's very own John "Cowboy" McCormack winning an Olympic medal in Melbourne in the 1950's.
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A Radiohead song is good to shag to???? Aye, just mind an' not get yer glasses steamed up.
Top five:-
1. Orgasm - Prince
2. Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin
3. Slow and Easy - Whitesnake
4. Gett Off - Prince
5. We Have All The Time In The World - Louis Armstrong
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I was being low and dirty Touche!
Alex Harvey is another good one. Gangbang, Next and, of course, the wonderful There's No Lights On The Christmas Tree Mother They're Burning Big Louie Tonight all top notch songs.
Tom, covered many bases there but a good bit of heid doon straight forward "these amps go up to 11" loud stuff can never go amiss.
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Oh, and Travisty haven't been included because they are, frankly, pish.
As for The Trees versus Touch Too Much, both equally good songs, but testosterone and intelligence aren't the same thing. Anyone says any different is severly lacking in either.
Talking of which, how about a wee bit of Prince. Filthy wee midden and smart bugger to boot.
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On the subject of Uncle Ernie, I'd like to point out that it was actually John Entwistle that wrote that particular song and not The Nose on a Stick, as any person who actually looks at such things with an open mind will know.
Bab O'Reilly was conceived when Pete was still in his teens. It would be nice if people wouldn't get all high-and-mighty about certain things especially when he hasn't been found guilty of anything.
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Kebabs, really! I'm shocked at you. I never thought such a motherly figure like yourself would resort to such depraved and foul behaviour. Even though your man is so far away. Or is it because.....?
Top 5 Ways To Avoid Street Eejits
in Top Fives
Posted
1. Write to the Government and demand that they do something about the homeless problem and therefore avoiding Big Issue sellers.
2. Write to the Government and demand that they donate more money to Quarriers or come up with some other money saving scheme for them and therefore avoiding punters forced to go out into the street and nab folk's bank details.
3. Become one of them cos as far as I can see they don't even talk to each other.
4. Dress as a Hare Krishna then THEY will all avoid YOU.
5. Write to the Government and demand that they join forces with a major world power then go off to start a war with some country, no better make that plural, they start a war with some countries so that the itchy fingers can get used to push the bomb, nuclear explosions happen all over the place and the feckin' planet is wiped entirely clear of life except for bugs & Keith Richards.
There ye go. Not sure how vialble they are but at least that last one could solve Falkirk's stadium dilemma.