[What Are Stu's Top 5 Bands / Artists?]

I think Stu will be a High Court Judge when he grows up...

Who or what is Van Halen?

The beatles? Are they a pop music combo?

Sex? Is that something in which coal is contained?

I bet he likes...

Blazin Squad, Glenn Miller, Al Jolsen, The Sutherland Brothers and as token female, Alma Cogan...

or are they all blanks again, Stu?

[5 Most Memorable Mammary Shots]

Not a lot of people know that Straw Dogs was a film made from the book,

Siege of Trencher's Farm... as written by Paisley Buddy and StMirren fan, Gordon M Williams.

I've met him doon here. Good guy.

A mate of mine was telling me recently of when he worked/drank wi Gordon in Soho.

Gordon is tall and used to like his drink. He also used tae be wan o thae folk that don't conform to how close ye should stand to someone else ye're talkin to.

So there you'd be in the pub with Gordon up real close, pint in hand and leaning over you. A cockerney wit dubbed him:

The Leaning Tower of Paisley!