Reidy1987

Ah, but remember Big Whitbreads and Screwtaps. Whatever happened to them? And Youngers DC. And Fowlers Wee Heavy. And... Sigh....

Ushers was possibly the most mingin beer of all time. It was eventually discontinued in the early-mid 70's due to "consumer resistance" and re-appeared under the name Lorimers, which was advertised on Radio Clyde by Kenny Dalglish and Sandy Jardine. The adverts were as bad as the beer and the whole shebang shut up shop a few years later. Sadly missed. Not.

Stuart, How can you do a list of worst beers without mentioning Ushers? It was the most honking beer EVER.

I'm sure that the number five of your list will be more then willing and able to test out a few of those Ozzie beers with exotic names as Cold Cock Bock, Hatlifter Stout, Brass Monkey and Burrogorang when he arrives there tomorrow. Lucky b*st*rd Howard, when in Oz, don't try the Boomerang beer...........................................it keeps coming back on you. Wap, wap, wap, waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh...

What? No Rupert? And I believe Hercules snuffed it a few years ago.

Anyways, to the subject... 1. Lager 2. Lager 3. Lager 4. Lager 5. Lager.

Yes. And if you drink enough of it, Kylie comes flying off the bottle and sings you a wee song.

Lucky old Vick...

I know. She's going to catch her death wearing a stupid vest like that...

Not very good at putting on her fishnets tho...

Naw, she's got it covered up.

What do you call the most importany hankie in the world? The hankiechief. Ehm... that's me away noo. Cheerio...

Sheila was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she somehow slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce! Bruce!" she yelled. Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "Strewth!" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Bluey" (his mate). They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way. We can't do it" Bluey said "Lets try Plan B." "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"? "I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her." "Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits." "Play with her tits"? Bluey said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate"? "No" Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive"

Explain what is wrong with S Club???

1. Paper Lace 2. Whigfield 3. S Club 7 4. Donny and Marie Osmond 5. The REALLY hopeless one out of Take That that nobody can remember

Marilyn Monroe in Some Like it Hot (if it had been in colour... ) Barbara Windsor in Carry On Camping (Hyar, hyar, hyar) Jane Fonda in Barbarella Ursula Andress in Dr No Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit

The Ace of Spades, Motorhead - Clark's shoes. Tinder, Hipsway - McEwan's Lager You got the power, Win - McEwan's Lager Music to watch girls by, Andy Williams - Renault cars Will you still love me tomorrow, Carol King - Coal fires I'll probably change my mind in a wee while...

And the BBC's Formula 1 music. The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. Of course it was the best thing about it and you could switch off after the theme music

Vangelis in Chariots of Fire Everyone in Lock, Stock... Same again in Trainspotting (but particularly Iggy Pop) Ennio Morricone in The Thing (*shudder*) John Williams in Jaws (*shudder again*)

The white horses Reporting Scotland (Yours is no disgrace by Yes!) Reporting Scotland (Macarthur Park by Donna Summer!!) Thunderbirds Doctor Who

Hugh Reed and the Velvet Underpants Johnny and the Self-Abusers Matt Vinyl and the Interior Decorators...

An Irishman an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. "Y'know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you." "Well" said the Englishman, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2." "Ahhh that's nothin'" said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house." The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. He swears every word is true. "Well" said the Englishman "Did this actually happen to you?" "Not me myself, personally, no," said the Irishman. "But it did happen to me sister."

Gosh. Is that true? You don't say...

1. Justin Timberlake 2. Daniel Beddingsfield 3. Beonce Knowles 4. Axl Rose (I suppose he could have called himself Joe Blob instead) 5. David Sneddon (how rock'n'roll is THAT?)

Ah yes, Listen Records, right across the road from the museum. They had a sign in the window that said something like "Hey mums and dads, we don't sell any nice Donny Osmond records. We just sell dirty, noisy long haired rock and roll records. So don't come in". It worked... Yeh, Feegie Park was some album, both outside and inside the cover. But I bought some absolute lulu's based solely on the cover art...