murray street

I think I will go for a 54 sprocket for Ventoux on thursday

Did you read that in the library paisley express ya auld breenger?

Saints Alky squad flag pissed oot its tits at 2 minutes 12 secs The quality of the footage is very good, usually its two tits and a camcorder.

Stinking blackneck ned, get him tae fùck

BIG Mark Cavendish, big CAV coooolllllll struggling off the back in 100 degree heat, he might abandon also.

Big alberto contador the BIG bertie conductor has abandoned COOOLLLLLL ♫♫WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO COOL YOU'RE SUCH A FOOL♫♫ ♪♫I'm a bikey I'm a bikey and it does me good like it bloody well should♫♪

Froome takes control, attacked 6 k's to go. Probably in yellow to paris now.

The LSD are knocking fúck out of the young stenny, can we get a video on facebook?

Where can I see a replay?

Is this game on sky sports? Anyone have a link? Yes I am also a sad bastard with fúck all to do other than wonder about a score at a friendly on a july saturday afternoon.

The coverage on NBC Sports Network is excellent, you get the distance to go in k's and miles, the gradients of the mountains and when there is a sprint they have arrows pointing out where the main contenders are in the run in. Weird stage today, 1km banner came down so the gc riders neutralized and did not attack at the finish Great 4th win by a british rider, hope Big Mark Cavendish equals the record before abandoning near the end of next week to concentrate on the olympics.

New innovation this year, there are men on motorcycles from the UCI with heat seeking monitors checking cyclists for mechanical doping.

Big Mark Cavendish won again today with a cool awesome ride

Come in son, we take everyone. Cops find illegal immigrant stuffed inside a SUITCASE while trying to get to Britain The man from Eritrea had managed to stuff himself inside the small suitcase despite being almost six foot tall. An accomplice carried him onto a train from Milan that had stopped in Chiasso just over the border in Switzerland. Travellers raised the alarm with the train guard after hearing noises coming from the suitcase and no-one came forward to claim it. But Swiss cops had already been alerted by Italian colleagues that two Eritreans were trying to head north into Switzerland and the train was stopped when it crossed the border. Guards boarded the train which had left Milan 45 minutes earlier and passengers pointed out the suitcase which was dragged off the train and onto a platform at Chiasso station. And they were left gobsmacked as the man’s head first poked out and then a hand as he struggled to unzip the case, eventually needed a hand from a guard to emerge into the open. His accomplice was found hidden in a toilet. A Swiss police source said:’’We received a call from Italian colleagues that two Eritreans were attempting to get into the country and travel northwards across Europe to Britain. ‘’The information was that one man was hidden in a suitcase and another man was traveling with him. The suitcase was pointed out to us and the man found inside. He was in his 20s and we found his friend hiding in a toilet on the train.’’ Officials said neither men had any documents on them and they were both sent back to Italy. The Houdini style attempt is not the first time migrants have tried to sneak across borders - with some squeezing themselves into tiny spaces in car engines. Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=328_1467758663#Y6JpePdmzh23CQsp.99

He didn't have a leg to stand on. I'll get my coat..............

Cool, Awesome

Commentary on ITV 4 not the same without Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen, been listening to these guys for years and years, so miss their excellent coverage. Can't stand listening to Sean Kelly on Eurosport, he's a legend but he talks as if he has a soor ploom permanently stuck to the inside of his cheek http://www.cyclingweekly.co.uk/news/racing/tour-de-france/phil-liggett-paul-sherwen-itvs-tour-de-france-coverage-249523 British Tour de France fans tuning into ITV4’s coverage of the 2016 edition of the big race on Saturday for the opening stage cannot help but have noticed the change in live commentary team. Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen no longer provide the verbal updates during the race, having been replaced on the channel’s coverage by Ned Boulting and former pro David Millar for this year. Many have asked us where Liggett and Sherwen have gone – and the short answer is: they are still there, just not on ITV. ITV4 used to buy in Liggett and Sherwen’s commentary from an internationally distributed audio feed – the same commentary is used by NBC in America and SBS in Australia, among others. And that’s where you can still hear Liggett and Sherwen. It made more sense for ITV to provide its own commentary to complement Tour coverage presenters Gary Imlach and Chris Boardman. (usually means ITV can't afford to pay) ETA Liggett and Sherwin still on NBC true enough

Shockerooni http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-36638929 Wife cake and evil water: The perils of auto-translation By Mark SmithTechnology of Business reporter While auto-translation software is improving, it is still not perfect Imagine a far flung land where you can catch a ride from the Jackie Chan bus stop to a restaurant called Translate Server Error, and enjoy a hearty feast of children sandwiches and wife cake all washed down with some evil water. If such a rich lunch gets stuck in your gnashers, you'll be pleased to know there are plenty of Methodists on hand to remove your teeth. And if by this point you've had enough of the bus, fly home in style on a wide-boiled aircraft. But whatever you do, please remember that when you land at the airport, eating the carpet is strictly prohibited. No, I haven't gone mad. These are all real-world examples of howlers by auto-translation software. Joking aside, poor translations can have big implications for firms who run the risk of offending customers and losing business, or at least looking very amateurish. While some mistranslations can provide amusement, others can cause grave offence

.

He's the next England Manager

He's gonnie get hammered in the papers tomorrow he was a pile of pish against iceland tonight.

Check this out, that Morrisons Supermarket joke was nearer to the truth than some people might wish to think. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-36633388 Anti-Polish cards in Huntingdon after EU referendum Cards containing the words "No more Polish Vermin" have been distributed outside homes and schools following the EU referendum. Kathleen Gaynor said her mother found the cards, which also say "Leave the EU", outside her home in Huntingdon. After she posted the cards on a community Facebook site, others reported they had also found them. Cambridgeshire Police said it is investigating and is "working closely with the affected community". Ms Gaynor said her mother, who lives in the town centre, discovered the card on her doorstep at about 09:00 BST on Friday. "Mum came out of her door and found the card weighed down by a stone so it couldn't blow away," she said. "Mum's neighbours are Polish so we think it might have been intended for them. She was in shock, angry and couldn't believe it." Daniel Guz, who attended a meeting with Cambridgeshire Police, said one Polish national discovered the card on her car when she parked up to collect her children from school - and another found it in her garden. He said: "It's a very bad situation, but I'm advising people to report the cards to the police and otherwise ignore them." The insurance broker added the Polish words on the card are a very poor translation of the English and thinks "they just put the words into Google translation". Cambridgeshire Police said officers had interviewed a number of witnesses as part of its investigation. Det Supt Martin Brunning said: "The production and distribution of this and any other similar material is committing the crime of inciting racial hatred which carries a maximum sentence of seven years in prison. "Any reports of hate crime in the county will be fully investigated and it is vitally important that anyone who has received these leaflets or suffered similar abuse reports it."

Apologies, there are some I don't mind offending on this forum, you are not one of them. Have you found any maltesers? My aunty used to work in a care home and she told me a story about an old lady who used to shit herself during the night and she would role the bits of shite up in to small balls and flick them in to her wardrobe, of course my aunty used to find these maltesers in the morning.

Good on you, post of the week

Its purely a numbers game, we don't want any more disasters like the one that happened in Peterborough last week when 18 eastern europeans died after a bunk bed collapsed.