East Lothian Saint

Doesn't matter how big your manhood is, I suppose. if you cum within a a second of checking out Llinford Christie "Oaksoft, "He's our Linford adoring genius, "He's got a sensitive penis, "one look at Linford, "His Bellend goes." Poor Oakster

My daughter sent me this and said it had just been released as the official team photo. I fell for it and was moaning why weren't the muppets looking at the camera. Wondered if they were ashamed to show their faces after Saturday, Good to see they behaved themselves for your Pics Shull where they all look proud to be Buddies.

English Racists at it again I thought. Despicable. Outrageous and good to see Kick it out and various anti-discriminatory groups calling for it to be banned. There is no place for Racism anywhere never mind football. Then I checked it out. No N words, no monkey sounds, No mention of black or any reference to creed or colour apart from Belgian and Bellend. The video footage is 3 guys at the back of the stand, no doubt testing out their own lyrical genius on a few mates. The lyrics do conjure up an amusing picture. It is deemed racist because supporters make reference to their striker being well-endowed. Shock, Horror Here we have a hugely talented striker, currently the top scorer in the league, yet he’s reduced to us celebrating the supposed size of his d***. It’s a cheap and insulting stereotype that has no place in this day and age, they say. Now It’s all over the papers and the Media. The FA and Man Utd are investigating. Like Manchester United I agree it could be deemed offensive but it is not racist. I bet Lakuku is laughing his tits off at this. People look for offence everywhere and it looks like the fun police are picking on Football Again. Okay if your sitting behind these three guys with your 13 year old daughter or maybe even your wife, by all means take offence but otherwise don’t be a bellend. Keep your racist cards for real racists not a bunch of fans idolising their goal scoring genius. Sung to the tune of “made of stone” by the Stone roses "Romelu Lukaku, "He's our Belgium scoring genius, "He's got a 24 inch penis, "Scoring all the goals, "Bellend to his toes."

It probably wouldn't have been as bad unless we had scored 3 in the first 20 minutes and everyone missed them.

Hear hear

Sorry we missed you Ian. The Elizabethan was a brisk 10 minute stroll away except for maybe the "the old obese f**ker at the back of the stand screaming at the ref " that oaky mentioned who may have done it in 20 barring heart attacks, seizures etc. We kept a seat for you and your good lady but it turned out the organisation at pub was run by the same crew that were stewarding the ground. At 1.15pm we were told they couldn't take any more food orders because people had sat at the two big tables and they were dealing with their order first. Maybe it was the old obese F**ker and his mates who had ordered an awful lot of food but It was quite bizarre that a pub/restaurant that clearly advertises its speciality in serving food couldn't cope when lots of tables were spare. It wasn't football traffic they were turning away, it was old wrinkly regulars who looked like they had eaten there every Saturday for the last 70 years. Maybe Dunfermilne is a really quite place that is only able to cope with crowds smaller than 4 men and a dug. Anyway after meeting our friends and having a small refreshment we did the 10 minute brisk walk having chosen to leave it late. Why sit in a poxy football stadium watching an empty pitch staring at obese old F**kers when you can have a pint instead. A day out at the football is not just about the football for some of us. If our entry had been delayed because of like minded supporters and I missed the start. Fair do's I would accept that. It's a risk of the strategy I adopt. The reason most of us missed the start of the match was not because of the time we turned up but because the stewards were inept. The system the club had employed was seriously flawed and the chief stewards couldn't deal with a situation and system that was clearly adding to the problem. Fans who's tickets didn't open the turnstiles were being sent by the turnstile operator (not really a good description of someone who couldn't open an automated turnstile) to the steward who would open another gate, tear the stub from their ticket and let them in manually. About 1 in 5 tickets didn't work which meant every one behind the stranded defunct ticket holder had to back out the turnstile and move back the queue to get out. This was even more complicated if the said useless ticket holder was was an old obese F**ker. The organisation was a complete shambles and the chaos was exacerbated by inept leadership amongst the stewards who would have been better deployed at gates tearing off ticket stubs instead of watching people sometimes going through turnstiles that didn't work 20% of the time. Being late wasn't the problem. The issue was Dunfermilne FC ,who like the Elizabethan weren't geared up to deal with anything more than the statutory 4 men and a dug and if they had been the only ones who had turned up and they had deviated from their normal routine, let's say the dog stopped for a pish at a different spot than normal, it would probably have flummoxed the head steward and two of the men and probably the dug would have missed the start of the match as well. The only thing more pathetic than the stewarding fiasco was Oaksy's suggestion than late coming fans are somehow inferior to the punctual ones like him, unless they are old, obese f**kers of course.

That's undoubted an unfair sporting advantage. I demand an enquiry into what the SFA know and did about this. Anyone got Peter lawwells number

That was poor apart from Suttons header which wasn’t even on target we didn’t even have a single strike at goal so I would say more than the defence were at fault. Dunfermline made lots of chances and buried three of them. The second one, especially, was a belter. We were left dead in the water and the Pars deserved their victory. I must confess I left early for the train and missed the red cards. I wasn’t the only one as a good few buds skulked away from the ground their pre-match confidence totally killed by that dislpay. I arrived home to find the fecking cockatiel had snuffed it. Daughters were snottering and blubbering. He died after full time knowing the Saints had been knocked off their perch at the top of the league. Not sure if that’s what killed him but he fell off his perch and he’s no longer pinning for the Fjords. He is dead, deceased, he has passed away. I hope to feck our title chances haven’t gone too. To appease my mourning daughters, I Had to arrange a fecking Budgie funeral and hide the fact I was more concerned about the Saints being knocked of their perch at the top of the league than the demise of the Cockatiel. That was one pish performance boys. You need to get your act together or our title/play off/promotion chances will have kicked the bucket, ' shuffled off 'their mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! RIP SPARKY 2003-2017 “now whistling with the saints” ( a little bit of plagiarism there. Sorry)

On the road again. Sitting in Waverley waiting for train with a black coffee and high hopes of a win. Really looking forward to it. Meeting a few Buds in the Elizabethan for a pre match gloat because we're top of the league and they're no. Hopefully the status quo will be maintained at full time and I can keep chanting that little ditty. It's driving the wife mad.

See you there then. Should be good.

IOBS If you're having a coca cola. Little ELS and I will probably be in there about 1.30. loved last week's match can't wait for this one

I like that description. It's conjures up just the right image of our heroic team as they put other dastardly villainous teams to the sword and save the day. Joma Jack's swashbuckling Saints. Brilliant!

As usual I shall go by train. I'll wave at you from the rail bridge. The Football Ground Guide is recommending the Elizabethan for a pre- match pint which makes sense if you jump off the train at Dumfermilne Queen Margaret Station. Where are all the other " thirsty" buds heading for pre-match?

Just taken the dog for it's morning walk along the beach and up the Glen and just couldn't help myself from spontaneously whistling the above little ditty. The seagulls, dugs, trees and sea shores of North Berwick are now aware of our lofty position. Why is there never a Morton fan about when you need one.

For bid read bud. Fecking spell check

What a day. Brilliant. Game of the season so far. I was on my seat, off my seat and screaming till I was hoarse. The defence were tested but it was like, score two if you like. We'll score three. Feck it we'll score four. Waiting on the league table on TV in the 1877 club was spine chilling. A full two minute whoa! Before the table changed to show saints at the top and the bar went crazy. Outstanding. Great day to be a bid and it ain't finished yet. Heavenly. We want more.

Just another bit of fake news but I did burst to that about 2 posts ago.

Good job I wasn't going to that game

20 mins from club. Then I'll be silenced. Couple of buds in central. The crowd is building.

Should read running through main home game locations today. Serves me right for posting nonsense. Sooner I get a drink in my hand instead of a phone the better

More Don's fans than well fans in Motherwell. All in good spirits. e running through all the main

Suspicions confirmed. Sevco fans now signing about the Pope and the IRA in a unflattering way. No wonder football fans get a bad name. Old firm fans always let us down

All the nice jambos got off. The numpty in the maroon jumper and shorts who was acting like a moron wasn't a jambo and he's still on the train. Might be a long trip

Edinburgh busy with jambos and sheep lovers as expected but I also saw a wee lonely Motherwell fan on his way to Kilmarnock. I'm not the only dafty in the city. No doubt I'll meet a few sevco supporters on the Glasgow train but there's already enough Jambo numpties on it. Thank feck the Muppets are getting off at Haymarket.

Ha ha never noticed that either till you pointed it out. Sooner I'm on the shandies the better