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Everything posted by salmonbuddie

  1. Fekk, you've ruined it for everyone now! [emoji1787][emoji23][emoji1787]
  2. No, it was a "riddle" - you also need to bear in mind the audience it was pitched at though... [emoji846]
  3. They're under 50 with no underlying health conditions... [emoji846]
  4. From a while back but still valid "Let’s take a minute to talk about why this is absolutely, f**king, ridiculous. At no point EVER in the history of the world, have all the governments, of all the countries, of the whole world, got together and gone “hey, can we all agree that we need some kind of plague going on? You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Okay, can we all agree to disagree publicly about the best way to handle it? It’ll seem more realistic this way? You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Okay, can we get all the doctors and nurses etc on board? We’ll need some people to lie about cause of death for at least 875,000 people... you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Some of you might have to cop a bit of crap, and be pretty much blamed for everything, including who individual idiots choose to shag. You okay with that Dan?” * Dan nods head “We’ll need Bill Gates to promote a vaccine that includes a microchip... can someone get Bill on board? You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “We’re gonna call it Corona virus - it’s a real type of virus thing, but can someone check with Cerveceria Modelo if they’re happy for their beer to take a hit when idiots correlate the two? You all okay with that? Mexico? Belgium?” * all nod heads “We’ll need to spread the non-existent plague through 5G towers - can someone get the telco’s for every country on board? You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Look, we’re going to need to crash the economy of the whole world - you might cop some flack... you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “We need a guy to eat a raw bat... we need to have a country to blame....can someone get on that? China? Thanks. You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “After that, we’ll need some ways to spread it - let’s focus mainly on cruise ships and old folks homes - you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Some weirdos might come out of the woodwork - we’re gonna have to put tinfoil and toilet roll supply into overdrive.... you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “They’re the ones we want though, okay? Divide and conquer. You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Oh yeah, no leaks, ok? The public can’t know about this.... you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “We’ll need a coupla high profile celebs on board? They need to be loveable. Can someone check if Tom Hanks is happy to get it and recover? Also, check if Tim Brookes-Taylor is happy to get it and die. You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Now, Trump, you’re gonna have to keep acting like a dickhead, if this is to be believable. America will probably have to have more deaths than most other countries, and it needs to seem like it’s your fault - you okay with that Don?” * Trump: “Covfefe” “Awesome. Great that we’re all agreeable. Now, if any of you in the room are currently at war with another country in the room, you need to keep that act up, or they’ll be onto us - you all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Oh, and we need someone to come up with bizarre cures....anyone? Anyone? Don?” * Trump: “I know a voodoo doctor? Bleach? Internal light? Hydroxychloroquine?” “Perfect. You all okay with that?” * all nod heads “Cool. Does anyone wanna know why we’re doing this?” * all shake heads “Great, let’s get to it.” * all nod heads Seriously, if Covid 19 is a myth, then world peace could have been achieved."
  5. And yet you continue to respond. You are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity. Farewell.
  6. The whole point of my posts was that the "riddle" in them could be solved by an 8 year old, nothing clever about them.
  7. From the poster who numbers shull among his best friends on here? Thought your boredom threshold had to be much, much higher than that, oaky...
  8. That makes sense when you add it in and look at the total number.
  9. Me too, that's why I was asking - I wouldn't give a toss otherwise! [emoji1787][emoji23][emoji1787]
  10. Need some help? With the sum, obviously, I'm not qualified to help with your other problems. Or I could just tell you the answer?
  11. Figured out the answer yet, shull?
  12. Is this you, shull? Can you do the sum?
  13. In my defence shull has been using that level of argument for months now... [emoji846]
  14. Just in case you skimmed it. What conclusion would the man in the Clapham omnibus draw (English Law, you'll get it).
  15. I think it's fair to say that you haven't personally made a racist post, shull. However, as I pointed out to you a while back, if ye fly wae the craws, ye get shot wae the craws. Folk will make their minds up based on the utter shite you keep posting.
  16. There was no need to edit that, we all heard it in our heads anyway... [emoji846]
  17. I thought this wee paragraph pretty much sums up where Scotland is right now "The authors’ hatred of welfare could not be clearer. And how is this for a radical right-wing view of public services, in which the idea of co-operative pooling of resources for common goods like roads and hospitals is clearly anathema? ‘If you went into a store to buy furniture, and the salespeople took your money but then proceeded to ignore your requests and consult others about how to spend your money, you would quite rightly be upset. You would not think it normal or justifiable if the employees of the store argued that you really did not deserve the furniture, and that it should be shipped instead to someone whom they found more worthy. The fact that something very like this happens in dealings with government shows how little control the “customers” actually have.’"
  18. How could you ever take that as ulcer inducing, oaky? Didn't the "bow and arrow" part give you a clue? [emoji1787][emoji23][emoji1787]
  19. Pretty sure you're right about the first time it was on but it was shown a couple of weeks before Christmas as part of a Scottish night (BBC4 maybe?) then repeated (again) the other night for the 10th anniversary.
  20. From the same source https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/authors/paisley-daily-express/renfrewshire-foodbank-halts-donations-amid-23276133
  21. Show off...you'll get done for speeding one of these days. [emoji846]
  22. No way I'm letting her anywhere near my coffee, for so, so many different reasons... [emoji23][emoji1787][emoji23]
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