Big Fras

No ScottD. No. Alan Lancaster will pop round your house with a Rickenbacker bass for that "Roll Over Lay Down" - are you listening Davie Irons ?

Now listening to "Big Fat Mama" in tribute to Millie Tant next door. All quiet now, thank f*ck.

My two butch lesbian neighbours having a barney . Must be bad - walls are 2' thick. Painters must be in - if such a ting is possible with 2 1980s East German shot-putter lookalikes. Not even NSS after 6 months on a rig would be interested. Pam St.Clements is even more preferrable.

Fuxake. I'll PM you when I am next up. Was meant to be at the end of October (booked at the Gibb Side) but Ward's went into administration. Apparently all sorted now, so maybe a game of pool at The Royal in the near future ?. With a concussed Kenny Black in the boot of my car in a SAFC top.

Royal Hotel. Kidnap your worst enemy; knock him out; dress him in a Sunderland AFC top; then wake him up just as you walk through the doors of the Royal. Then leave him in there. Alone.

The former . I used to visit a company at The Fed Brewery site, (Ward's), and one of the lads took me to the charity auction (it was about 10 years ago). I may have exaggerated, but there was seriously no more than 40 people there on a p*shing wet Tuesday night, then in walked Gazza, his Dad, and his team-mate (who I think was Andy Townshend). Also used to see Gascoigne in the pub near the railway bridge outside Dunston Feds ground (The Prince of Wales ? something like that), that was a really shady place. I'd climb a mountain for a bag of Tudor advert tower block ? There is an "urban myth" that a 10-year old Alan Shearer is in the background in one of those adverts. Surely false. favourite Gateshead image was the "Shearer 9" shirt put on the Angel of the North - magnificent stuff. Werte the council involved ? I wouldn't rule it out up there

Very believable TS !! Apart from PGs stay in Renfrewshire, where I am sure many Buds like myself had "encounters" with PG, both positive & negative, I used to go to Gateshead regularly (Dunston - you'll know where I mean TS). The local Labour Club had a fund raising do one night, and Gazza brought along.........his shirt from THAT semi-final. It was bought by some p*ss artist for £35 ! Fortunately, Gascoigne had also brought a player from Boro (who he was with at the time), and this guy had the sense to outbid the other 20 poeple present (£40) and give it back to the paralytic Gascoigne. Oh dear.

Madness - "Madstock" (92) - actually quite good "reunion" live CD from their very first "comeback" at Finsbury Park. Same event where Morrisey waved a Union Jack around whilst singing about a "National Front Disco" How the f*ck he kept a career going after that is testimony to his appeal.

Cannot find 6-fingered emoticons to respond to that ! Locals round here didn't object, as BRFC denied Man Utd (the hate object for Bolton Wanderers - a sort of Morton/Rangers = Blackburn/Man U sort of thing goes on in these parts).

1) Dalglish v. Wales - Anfield - Archie MacPherson's commentary being described in his own words as "premature ejaculation" 2) Dalglish v. Spain - Hampden 85 3) Robertson pen @ Wembley 81 4) Dalglish v. Belgium (a) 83 (1-2 with A****bald, then outside of the right boot lob over the keeper - GENIUS) 5) Narey v. Brazil (should still be allowed to "poke his toe" right into Hill's goolies) Anyone who slags off Dalglish should remember that he brought Barnes (& Scheidt) to Parkhead. Good on ye !

Hattie Jaques Tamson's surely ?

Were C4 responsible for the Keith Chegwin "Naturists" show (or was it the early days of Channel Five ?)

I once saw him in a General Store just off Dumbarton Road (Byres Road end). Freaked me out a bit - I had been on the Bob Hope, and had been watching him in "Father Ted" 40 minutes earlier. Spicy Nik-Naks please.

Brass Eye Phoenix Nights Brookside (Jimmy Corkhill on Coke era 93/94) Countdown (pre-expiration of Whiteley) Bremner, Bird & Fortune

1) Achtung Bono - Half-Man Half-Biscuit 2) Uncle Dysfunctional - Happy Mondays 3) High Voltage - AC/DC 4) Leftism - Leftfield 5) Singles - New Order Plus........The Very Best of Neil Diamond !!!!

Great post LS ! re: Blackpool - I was telling some Bolton/MCR mates about it, and they simply refused to believe me. Aside from the weekend antics, those who were there, (and could screw their eyes up enough to focus on the action on the pitch) probably began to think, "Here, we might have a chance this season...."

F*cked-up the date - sorry Mr.C. . That link was one of the best "clicks" I've ever done. Including filth. Cheers man. The guy who got nicked was my old boss ! He got an organised bus from Johnstone, and the story of his 48 hours should have been made into a mini-movie. Highlights included: 1) The bus had no lav, you just stood in the doorway and told the driver you needed a slash, and he slowed down a bit whilst opening the doors (Motorways withstanding of course).Which was unfortunate for dwellers of Golders Green and North London suburbs, out mowing their lawns as the bus arrived in the capital on Friday evening. 2) The brakes failed, and the driver brought the Johnstone flying machine to a halt by crashing into safety fencing near Park Lane. He then calmly announced - "That's us here boys !" The poor guy got nicked going back OFF the pitch to help his mate over the wall. Basically got huckled through a vast number of passageways before emergiung outside the ground. Missed all the action. I will be sending him your link.

1) Kidnap Brian McGinlay in April 83, letting anyone not knowingly in the OF payroll to officiate 2) Be at Wembley in 76 (I know a guy who was there - and was one of the very few that got nicked !) 3) Kick The Stone Roses up their collective arses (1991-1994). Or hide John Squire's coke. 4) Be on board the Rolling Stones 1972 USA tour - the definition of debauchery 5) Be ringside at Ali v. Foreman (having visited the local Kampala branch of Willie Hill en route)

That is a belter of an album. Nine Million Rainy Days - top track. Bought it the day of the Tromso game at love Street. Old git

I think I'll head down to the Bolton town centre library this week, and look up archived "Bolton Evening News" around the time of the game. Not for the match reports. No, I'll be looking for reports of flare-ups over the admission/pie prices

I treated myself to a main stand seat for the 87 Final. Looking at the ticket on the wall now (in a frame with a signed team picture taken the day afterwards at Love Street ) - the admission price: £7.00 (Adult). F*cking Cup Final !!!! There is no doubt that the % of the average weekly "spare" £ that it costs to get into games now, has gone sky high. That is why even Paisley's Meanest People-mover always had plenty bevvy money for the far flung trips. Strange as it may seem to believe

1. Hampden Park 1987 (twice 2. Porkheid April 1990 3. Balintore August 1993 (very informal pre-season game ) 4. Somerset Park - many times when you think about it ! 5. Castle Greyskull - August 1989 Plus any trips to Brechin / Stranraer for liver related reasons

Sex Pistols - "Liar"

Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline (Gie's a slug o' yer bottle o' wine !!)