dani bongo

My father was a fireman in Paisley at the time and he tells me the deaths were caused by an implosion. Meanwhile my mother was in labour at the Thorn hospital in Johnstone giving birth to myself. My auld man went through a lot of trauma coming to terms with losing a few of his mates in the disaster and having myself to contend with me for the rest of his days. On a happier note it is my mum and dads 42 wedding anniversary today. Congratulations

My top five beers were bought by: 1 Bongovonwhatshisname 2.HSS 3.Elvira 4.Howard Hughes in Blue Suede Shoes 5.Tennants Lager OK I made number 5 up.

Celtic manager Martin O'Neill sends scouts out round the World looking for a new striker to replace Henrik Larsson and hopefully win Celtic the league. One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So O'Neill flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Park Head. Two weeks later Celtic are 4-0 down at home to Dundee with only 20 minutes left. O'Neill gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on and he takes off Henrik Larsson. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Celtic. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in Scottish football. "Hello Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me". "Wonderful," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time". The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry". "Sorry?" says his Mum, "It's your bloody fault we moved to Glasgow in the first place!"

I got the "Never Mind The B*llocks" dvd the other day and it sounds/looks a million times better than any s***e the music industry wants to throw at the kids these days.

The name "Shetty" is a Seph thing. Never heard anyone else use it. It's better than sheepbreath(Budvar) but I know what he means.

Been having a wee drink tonight have we. I couldn't stand The Smiths probably the worst band I've seen.

There's a great Ramones covers album, the highlights being: Havana affair- Red Hot Chilli Peppers Do You Remember Rock n Roll Radio- Kiss Outsider- Green Day I Wanna Be Sedated- Offspring U2 do a s***e re-working of Beat on the brat and there is a rather bizarre version of Return of Jackie and Judy by Tom Waits.

1.The Clash - Edinburgh playhouse 2.SLF - Apollo 3.Motorhead - Apollo (deaf for a week) 4.Joe Strummer - Old Trafford 5.UK Subs - Mossbank (Charlie Harpers black+white barmy army)

The Chopper was indeed a stylish bike of its time. Was the 80's version called the Grifter or is that a different thing altogether?

Ehh! No Kelly Marie? The best thing to come out of Spiersfield Court.