Celtic manager Martin O'Neill sends scouts out round the World looking for a
new striker to replace Henrik Larsson and hopefully win Celtic the league.
One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will
turn out to be a true superstar. So O'Neill flies to Baghdad to watch him
and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Park Head.
Two weeks later Celtic are 4-0 down at home to Dundee with only 20 minutes
left. O'Neill gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on and he takes
off Henrik Larsson. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins
the game for Celtic. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are
delighted and the media love the new star.
When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first
day in Scottish football. "Hello Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for
20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody
loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me".
"Wonderful," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got
shot in the street, your sister and I were raped and beaten and your brother
has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time".
The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry".
"Sorry?" says his Mum, "It's your bloody fault we moved to Glasgow in the