Happy Buddie

nae short jokes, please, that's apartheight.

it's the way he hit it so hard he actually lifted himself off both feet!!!! Sniff!!!

What a day oot!!! Started off with some good crack with Hearts fans on the train from Airdrie (I knew they would be there) Met up with friends and family in Central, breakfast n beer in the Counting House, taxi to Beechings at Cathcart station, mair beer, the game, shouted and sang for 90 minutes plus the rest, walked to Queen's Park station, squeezed onto a train, Central to Paisley, the Argyll Bar, County Square, still singing, Carfuffal's, All Shook Up on the karaoke, The Wee Howff, La Mesa, chips fae Andy's, he'd nae fish left cos the Polis were being tight-arses on closing times, walked three miles tae ma mum's in Foxbar in the pishing rain, soaked, sober by the time I got there (how can you drink £40 worth of beer and be sober at the end of the night) had a cuppa, woke up Monday, nae hangover, but nae voice. This is two days later and I'm still hoarse. I'm 54 noo, and I didnae party that hard in '87. I must be getting stronger. (Iknow, it's an old joke)

What a day oot!!! Started off with some good crack with Hearts fans on the train from Airdrie (I knew they would be there) Met up with friends and family in Central, breakfast n beer in the Counting House, taxi to Beechings at Cathcart station, mair beer, the game, shouted and sang for 90 minutes plus the rest, walked to Queen's Park station, squeezed onto a train, Central to Paisley, the Argyll Bar, County Square, still singing, Carfuffal's, All Shook Up on the karaoke, The Wee Howff, La Mesa, chips fae Andy's, he'd nae fish left cos the Polis were being tight-arses on closing times, walked three miles tae ma mum's in Foxbar in the pishing rain, soaked, sober by the time I got there (how can you drink £40 worth of beer and be sober at the end of the night) had a cuppa, woke up Monday, nae hangover, but nae voice. This is two days later and I'm still hoarse. I'm 54 noo, and I didnae party that hard in '87. I must be getting stronger. (Iknow, it's an old joke)

When's the DVD due oot?

Under "Sport", ya diddy. If you have Sky on demand, go to Catch Up, then iPlayer, Sports, Sportscene. It has the highlights programme. I watched again yesterday afternoon and gret like a big wean. Glad the wife wisnae in.

Cork removed. In the bin. Never to be seen again. Sair heid in the morning.

Spoken like a true professional - a wee drop of water (in Scotland the draught kind'll do, only use bottled in the S of Englandshire) releases the flavour. I have the happy burden of being the Quality Manager for the company that produces said Old Pulteney (distilled in Wick, but bottled in Airdrie). Even so, all this talk of the Islay monsters has my head shaking. I spent one night at the Tarbert Hotel in Seamill drinking only Laphroaig and could only open one eye for most of the next day. I still find Ardbeg to be almost impossible to drink. Any decent malt aged in sherry casks is usually a winner.

No, just she and my wife get talking, I might as well no' be there. I decided that night to take a walk. In fact, I get on better with her than with my own Mum.

Years ago I used to live in Kerr St, off Underwood Rd. My mother-in-law decided to visit one night, and I cleared off with the idea of a wee walk and a pub crawl. I headed up Causeyside St, then up Neilston Rd. Had my first pint in Tannahills, second in the Dooslan Stane, third in the Balnagowan, next the Craigdhu, then the Wellington, Tea Gardens, etc, etc.....final one in the Wig and Pen, home, pished, to a rousing reception. Still can't work out how many pints that was .