Wilbur Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 Okay, picking up on Reidy’s challenge, I can easily name 5 things that are acceptable (and even enjoyable) to a Grumpy auld bugger. 1. Having a nice meal in a quiet restaurant ………… except when there are bloody weans running about the place, jumping and screaming while their couldnae-give-a-flying-feck parents are immune to the mayhem being caused. 2. Enjoying a few pints in my local ………… except when it’s full of pish-head arseh*les shouting their conversations at the top of their voices to one another because they’re too rubber to realize how loud they are. 3. Going to a music concert to see one of my favourite groups or singers ………… except when it’s at the SECC where they keep the bloody bar open right through the performance and the entire evening is spoiled by cretins continually walking in front of you to (and from) the bar, spilling lager as they pass. 4. A pleasant drive along the M8 in low volume traffic ………… except when you catch up on the eighty year old tit in the middle / outside lane in his Honda Civic meandering along at 45 mph with not a concern in the world for any other road users. And his 79 year old wife is always there in the passenger seat, but you can’t ever see her because she’s only 4 foot 7 tall and you only notice her when you eventually overtake and turn round to the old tit to digitally show your appreciation of his excellent roadmanship. 5. Going on a holiday abroad to Mediterranean or perhaps the Iberian peninsula ……………except when the (British or do I mean English ?) extended-family-from-Hell invade your hotel and take control by means of growling and glowering at all the other guests. All 34 of the fat buggers (grannies, uncles, teenagers & reptile-children) take over the bars, the swimming pool and the pool tables, and spend the next 2 weeks having a great time by ensuring that everyone else has a miserable one. These are 5 things I find enjoyable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Even attempting a list of such things, shows that you're a happy-go-lucky, easy-oasy chappie and nowhere near as grumpy as old Bill and auld Reidy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Even attempting a list of such things, shows that you're a happy-go-lucky, easy-oasy chappie and nowhere near as grumpy as old Bill and auld Reidy. Too right. Ah cannae think o 5 things that are acceptable.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Lees Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 1. Having a nice listen to the radio. ......except when it's Radio 5 and every other fresh-faced numpty of a presenter reporting "live" back to the studio answers the simplest of queries from the anchorman by gushing "Absolutely !!!!!" instead of just saying "Yes". Or when they give the weekend's football results round-up and say "and in Scotland, Rangers won 3-0 and Celtic won 4-1". 2. Going to the cinema to watch a nice fillum. ...... except when you're surrounded by f**k-witted Herberts on all sides whose mission appears to be to munch their way as noisily as possible through several hundred pounds' worth of popcorn, hot dogs, feckin nacho chips and, worst of all, bags of rustly, crinkly, noisy feckin-wrappered sweeties. That is when they're not gobbing off to their mates constantly or TALKING ON THEIR FECKIN MOBILE PHONES during the fillum 3. Flying off for a nice relaxing holiday in the sun. ...... except when you have to share a plane with 120 unwashed ned/chav burberry-baseball cap-wearing brain-donors. Who ALL have to spring to their feet the instant the plane touches down in order to spend the next fifteen minutes getting their bloody king-sized holdalls out the overhead bins and standing there like spare pricks waiting while the stairs are brought to get off the plane. And who then ALL have to stand as close as they possibly can to the luggage carousel - feck anyone else - as soon as possible and grab the last luggage trolley and then spend the next twenty minutes waiting there for the carousel to start up and the bags to appear. Not to mention the terminally inconsiderate f**k-wit in front of you who always reclines his seat with gay abandon, crushing you and making it nigh on impossible to read, eat, or sometimes even breathe. 4. Erm.. that's all. I need to just go and get my blood pressure down a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennant's Lager Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Too right. Ah cannae think o 5 things that are acceptable.. 1. Scrappy 1-0 victories for St.Mirren...... 2. Scrappy 2-1 victories for St.Mirren...... 3. Wee bit less scrappy 2-0 victories for St.Mirren...... 4. Wee bit less scrappy 3-1 victories for St.Mirren...... 5. Not at all scrappy 3-0 victories for St.Mirren...... And so on...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Lees Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Oh Aye. And 4. A nice train journey. I really quite like a nice journey by train. ....except when the train carriage is full of f**k-witted ned f**kwits gobbing off constantly to each other or drinking tinnies endlessly or playing feckin MP3 players at top volume so the carriage fills with that fecking TSSSSSHHH TSSSSSHHH TSSSSSSSSHHHH feckin irritating noise. Or f**kin Mancunian arseholes with a guitar who play and sing shite Oasis songs the whole journey and think they're all "mad for it" and tell everybody so whether they give a feck or not. Or f**k-witted fannies that wouldn't know about considering others if you tattooed it on their feckin eyeballs that sit there with their manky feckin feet up on the seats and give you dog's abuse in return if you so much as politely suggest they desist. AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennant's Lager Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Oh Aye. And 4. A nice train journey. I really quite like a nice journey by train. ....except when the train carriage is full of f**k-witted ned f**kwits gobbing off constantly to each other or drinking tinnies endlessly or playing feckin MP3 players at top volume so the carriage fills with that fecking TSSSSSHHH TSSSSSHHH TSSSSSSSSHHHH feckin irritating noise. Or f**kin Mancunian arseholes with a guitar who play and sing shite Oasis songs the whole journey and think they're all "mad for it" and tell everybody so whether they give a feck or not. Or f**k-witted fannies that wouldn't know about considering others if you tattooed it on their feckin eyeballs that sit there with their manky feckin feet up on the seats and give you dog's abuse in return if you so much as politely suggest they desist. AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGh Take it you don't enjoy B&W Army.com Specials then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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