Dunno. Are you? The point is, Lucy was seemingly objecting to the joking about a medical condition, not that it was directed at Smith's wife while he was sitting next to her. I don't even know what the "joke" was but that is irrelevant to what I am talking about, as is Smith's reaction. To me, a jokes a joke, irrespective of subject matter. Abuse is different, although there is sometimes a fine line between them. Tone of voice, the relationship between the people concerned, situation, etc can be determining factors in whether something is a joke or not, as I'm sure you're well aware. If I walked into a pub and said "you're a fat, ugly, baldy c**t" to someone at the bar then I'm OK if it's my mate but not so much if it's a total stranger.