Love Street Central

Cut loud .............marvellous purge

was he a fat bloke, angry looking fecker , brown hair and foaming like a rabid dog...........if so , that narrows it down ever so slightly then

I just hate that wee dancing cherub thing he has......................in terms of post content there has been some "functional" contributions................. the current drift to pseudo intellectualism I agree is complete and utter bawbagism

"McPherson , you must be delighted now , got what you wanted" "We can do this" after goalmachine slots a penalty "Millen's gonnae doooo McDonald tonight " "This is a right attack minded team tonight " "Part time supporter " och aye , the vibe comes flooding back

Poor Bob...Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How yaw doing?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no, " says Bob. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Gees Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time."

Husband and wife are shopping in Tesco's when the man picks up a crate of Stella and sticks it into the trolley "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife "They're on offer, only £10 for 12 cans", he says "Put them back. We can't afford it," says the wife and they carry on shopping... A few aisles later the woman picks up a £20 jar of face cream and sticks it into the trolley. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the man, "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," she says the man replies... "SO DOES 12 CANS OF STELLA AND IT'S HALF THE F*%KING PRICE"

I agree, I'd actually prefer Motty to that daftee, however this is just your typical pc bollox now , thin end of the wedge as dear old pater would say.............women and football , I tell you , why oh why Same thing now with them starting to officiate. I mean female refs ffsake - Gi's a break. We go to the game for respite and quality time. Next thing they'll be wanting to run the golf clubs

Helpful insofar as I never considered my house as a good sized pub , but now that Stayin In is the New Going Out I will indeed be maxing out my viewing rights as landlord........................

i am getting a 37" flat screen telly - what do I do ? Plasma or LCD - seems the Panasonic Plasma Viera ( new ) is best in class - any recommendations , good and bad experiences ?? Baffult !!!

An Irishman an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar in the U.S. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional. "Y'ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now, the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks , he will buy the 5th drink for you." "Well," said the Englishman, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2." "Ahhh, that's nothin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin, there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house!" The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. But, the Irishman swears every word is true. "Well," said the Englishman, "Did this actually happen to you?" "Not me myself, personally, no," said the Irishman. "But it did happen to me sister.

A history teacher asks a class full of kids 'What was Churchill famous for?' A kid at the back shouts out 'He was the last f**king white man to be called Winston! I've just loaded 'Colin McRae's Helicopter Simulator' onto my PC, but it keeps crashing! Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China? Everybody won. What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law? About 2.3 pounds including the urn. Was so depressed last night that I rang the Samaritans. Got through to a call centre in Pakistan. Told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane...... A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says 'Show me it's true what they say about black men'... So he stabbed her and nicked her purse. I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me... 'Oi, what's your disability?' I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off you c**t!' I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' ' A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'. He says 'That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'. She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan!'. Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees sister rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in. 'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!' A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'. His wife replies 'You've got a bigger dick than your brother!

a treble

The Cure - Greatest hits Killing Joke - Killing Joke Live - Throwing Copper Stevei Vai - Fire Garden Inxs - Welcome to Wherever You are Brilliant taste

I'd rather see you dead - Pat Travers

One day the Primary 1 teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said F****** hell! A talking pig!'"

One for Shull............what a mental image A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome Cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.

hmm , menage a trois sil vous plait

1.Italian football programme - James Richardson hosted I think, Football Italia 2.The Tube 3.Countdown.................brought us Carol Vorderman 4.Friends....................... brought us Courtney Cox 5.Cheers that's it , so frankly has it been worth it ???

think you'll find he was pissed off cos he couldnae make the bald man puke due to your knuckle shuffling monopoly

watch out tomorrow night What's the definition of the bravest man in the world?? The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume then slaps his wife on the backside and says: You're next, fatty

Edit to Add * *For Kelvin McKenzie - its only humour............ A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!! Glasgow cop says," Licence and registration, please." London Lawyer says, "What for?" Glasgow cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign." London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming." Glasgow cop says, "Ye still didn ae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please." London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?" Glasgow cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law , Licence and registration, please!" London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." Glasgow cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir." The London Lawyer exits his vehicle. The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the f*ck out of the lawyer and says, "Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow down?"

yup , saw this reality show last night wrong choice in terms of rewarding potential. That bloke wouldnae have moved unless you lit a fire under him, that cost him , sooo , we have these yappy, aren't we terrific twin burds , potential Raymie marketing novelty factor no doubt, versus some anal bloke and his tearful wife ...........i wonder who'll win I'll book a curry n beer night for next thursday methinks...............

Jess and Laura , lovers of prime meat , rare indeed..........................

translates as a five stroker - och aye stayin power