Stu Posted February 6, 2003 Report Share Posted February 6, 2003 Over the last few days, whilst walking around Edinburgh and Glasgow, I have encountered a large number of street eejits, such as Big issue sellers and folk wanting me to donate money to Quarriers. Anyone got good ways to avoid them? here are mine: 1. Avoid eye contact 2. Have your stereo up very loud so that you can't hear them 3. Get into a major discussion with a mate when you get within 5 yards of them 4. Walk around them, even if it means crossing the street 5. Just say no Not very good ones, I'm sure folk on here will have better ideas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted February 6, 2003 Report Share Posted February 6, 2003 Carry a bundle of SMISA application forms about with you and when they stop you, say, "Ah, I'm glad I bumped into you - would you like to join SMISA?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted February 6, 2003 Report Share Posted February 6, 2003 1. Write to the Government and demand that they do something about the homeless problem and therefore avoiding Big Issue sellers. 2. Write to the Government and demand that they donate more money to Quarriers or come up with some other money saving scheme for them and therefore avoiding punters forced to go out into the street and nab folk's bank details. 3. Become one of them cos as far as I can see they don't even talk to each other. 4. Dress as a Hare Krishna then THEY will all avoid YOU. 5. Write to the Government and demand that they join forces with a major world power then go off to start a war with some country, no better make that plural, they start a war with some countries so that the itchy fingers can get used to push the bomb, nuclear explosions happen all over the place and the feckin' planet is wiped entirely clear of life except for bugs & Keith Richards. There ye go. Not sure how vialble they are but at least that last one could solve Falkirk's stadium dilemma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SWLNG Posted February 6, 2003 Report Share Posted February 6, 2003 I find that a polite,'No thanks',usually does the trick,except with the more persistent Big Issue fuds who will then sarcastically thank you and/or ask you for spare change.You then have to weigh up how big/dangerous looking the vendor is and choose whether to ignore him and walk on,or invite him to take a flying fcuk to himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted February 6, 2003 Report Share Posted February 6, 2003 Take your jazz mag collection out with you , under your arm, wearing a pair of expensive trainers, buy a copy of the Big Issue from a similarly attired vagrant and slip it in front of your w**kfodder. Everyone will think you are a Big Issue seller and avoid you like a native of Gr**n*ck......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSS Posted February 7, 2003 Report Share Posted February 7, 2003 A girl I know always buys the Big Issue from the guy at the Piazza.On buying one a while back the seller told her that she had just bought his last one."Great",she said,"Is that you away home now?"The poor girl was mortified,the people she told were in hysterics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ST SID Posted February 7, 2003 Report Share Posted February 7, 2003 1. Pull out yer gun, wave it around erratically whilst saying "You talking to me" 2. Put both hands in yer trouser pockers, rummage around, wiggle you eye brows and ask suggestively, " Say hello to my little friend" 3. Turnaround and shout behind you - "Smithers, release the dogs" 4. Get in as close as you dare and smoulder, "Will you be my special friend?" 5. Big smile and say politely - "Charity only f'k's you life up, I mean look at you" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuartmunn Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 I just say (In English) "Sorry I don't speak English" .... it confuses them enough to make your escape... This work in the Netherlands too, especially when they ask in Dutch... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houston_bud Posted February 17, 2003 Report Share Posted February 17, 2003 I hate those f*ckin Gouranga (or what ever they're called) people. My mate made the woman do 5 starjumps in the middle of buchannan street before he would give her 50p it was very funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally Posted February 17, 2003 Report Share Posted February 17, 2003 Ask the Quarriers folk how much they get paid for pestering folk and then ask how much they donate to charity... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally Posted February 17, 2003 Report Share Posted February 17, 2003 With the Gouranga folk (who prey on the vulnerable, old ladies, school kids etc...) tell them to get tae f**k and if you feel the need a kick up the arse for good measure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisleybuds Posted February 17, 2003 Report Share Posted February 17, 2003 2. Have your stereo up very loud so that you can't hear them Don't you dare do that one Stu, Folk will realise that you are listening to Travis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted February 18, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2003 2. Have your stereo up very loud so that you can't hear them Don't you dare do that one Stu, Folk will realise that you are listening to Travis. Whats the problem wi Travis? Beside it's usually Semisonic or U2 at present Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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