He seems to spend his time raging against someone or something if he isn't watching TV, placing bets or getting blutered. Is he a comic book caricature of a Scotsman from the Rab C Nesbitt era?
Ah... You are poetic beyond description. And.. Only a fool would drink 12 pints of the dark stuff and eat a vindaloo.. Then again.. It seems you qualify on that score.
A self portrait by any chance? Did you steal the white "cloak" from a ladies washing line? Ask your wife for makeup lessons.... Unless that is your wife.