Dirty Sanchez

Fuxake,he can have mine for £40.99 if he wants.

Blackandwhitearmy.com's intelligent,all-seeing banner adverts strike again.

Good luck removing the shite (Norton) from your system. It likes to hang on in there.

Paint her gold and it's a World Cup tribute with the hands holding up the globe(s).

I've been with AOL since 1998 and everything about their service has been first class.

Billy's scoring run has catapulted him above Mixu Paatelainen and 'Own Goals' in the top scorers charts under Gus' reign. Now level pegging with McGinty,with third place in his sights.

Sara Rue of US sitcom 'Less than Perfect', before and after giving up the pies.

Test. Edit: Fuxake,Darryl Duffy's Barmy Army? That's weird.

Dagnogo had more skill than anyone in the current squad.

Avril Lavigne's cover version of John Lennon's Imagine. FFS,at least Rolf Harris was only having a laugh when he did Stairway to Heaven.

Now that you mention it,the guy had a terrible shouting voice. Really screeching and grating. Not exactly Windsor Davies in a sergeant major role. In the days of Diddy Leagues and empty stadiums you could frequently hear every word,and you just wished he would shut up.

Bawbagpuss.

Has the origin of this 'ooft' word ever been discussed on here before? If not,I've just had the most powerful case of deja vu I've ever experienced.

Madness - Bawbaggy Trousers Bellamy Brothers - If I Said You Had a Beautiful Bawbag Would You Hold it Against Me? George Formby - When I'm Cleaning Bawbags Andy Stewart - Donald,Where's Your Bawbag? Bob Dylan's ode to puberty... The Bawbags they are a-Changing and for a seated fart... Bette Midler - You are the Wind Beneath My Bawbags

I'd pay a tenner a month for that. It's a football ground,not a Senga filled club or f*cking local radio.

I've yet to see a bare chested,stick thin Ned walking down the street. That's usually the first sign of summer.

I just heard Andy Murray's brother on the TV. I didn't realise Dunblane was in America.

Holyrood style fannies who say 'Scoddish' instead of 'Scottish'. Some American women,who strangely start to half speak/half croak from the back of their throats,as they get towards the end of a sentence. I never thought of this one before,but I listened to a debate on slavery on BBC radio the other night,and by the end of it my main conclusion was that I was just glad the various contributors with the thick,grating African accents had finally shut the f*ck up.

I've noticed over the years that an uncanny amount of union leaders and nationalist/verging on national bigot types seem to have really strong versions of their local accent. I don't know if it's evolution or what,but it's a bizarre phenomenon that offers up a new example every time there's an industrial dispute or William Wallace documentary on the telly.

I think it's only the strength of an accent that makes it grate (that's grate,not great). Pretty much any strong regional accent sounds like shit. A strong accent from this part of the world grates on me much more that a mild Scouse or Brummie accent. You name it,the thick versions all sound awful,and mild versions sound all right. Aberdeen,Dundee,Fife,Edinburgh,Glasgow ,Ayrshire,Geordie,Scouse,Manc,Yorkshire,Brummie,Welsh,Cornwall,Cokney and related,Nor/Sufffolk,Norn Irn,etc. They all range from painful to hilarious. As for foreign people speaking English with an accent,I think it's definitely the French who are hardest to listen to. Even someone with a great vocabulary can be tough to stick with.

Hasny Aljofree. He scored a late penalty for Plymouth at Peterborough in the FA cup recently. Clearly delighted,he tried a f*ckwitted,noise up celebration in front of the home fans. He didn't bargain on someone taking exception to it and lobbing a bottle at him. He then spat the dummy and squared up to the whole Peterborough support. The comedy continued when Peterborough equalised a couple of minutes later.

Wasn't it a cutlery set that he won?

No one ever mentions the catastrophic tsunami he would inevitably have kicked off when he parted the Red Sea.

I posted about that in General Nonsense at the time. F*cking hilarious. I nearly pished myself when she ended up with peanuts after knocking back an offer that would only have been declined by someone who finds logic and probability to be an alien concepts. Then again,that's exactly the kind of person who thinks they've got a system to beat Deal or No Deal. The funniest thing was that it was one of the other box openers who burst out greeting when the diddy box was finally revealed. Mrs.Logicless took it quite well in comparison.

This is it. In most big cities you need to head to the darkest depths of the schemes before the ratio of losers and menaces:normal people starts to increase. For me,that's what separates Glasgow from the other big cities I've been to. Right there,in yer face,in the city centre,you rarely have to look very far for someone you'd rather cross the street to avoid. You see all the same problems in most cities,but it's so much more persistent and obvious in Glasgow. In all the time I spent in London in the 90s,I can honestly say I was only blatantly approached by one beggar. In Glasgow I routinely get stuff like the Neds who I refer to as 'voluntary workers' who loiter and helpfully offer their services to assist you with car park ticket machines and ATMs. These guys also specialise in tear jerking sob stories about how they've been robbed that day,or something similar. What they need is something like Giuliani did to New York,where all the crap just wasn't tolerated any more,resulting in the centre of town flourishing and becoming unrecognisable to the jungle it was before. It actually a pity that this stuff taints some of the decent points made in the first post on this thread.