Happy Buddie

Same as Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia, Iceland, Ireland, Belgium, Luxembourg, Netherlands.

Haven't seen her on the telly weather for ages. Sacked for getting it wrong?

Don't often act like a pedant, but the correct phrase is "None so blind as those who will not see.", it's a matter of choice rather than ability.

Wee lassie getting too much meat and two veg? is she OK or has she had her chips?

What is most frightening is that we've lost two games to the teams we should be most confident of beating, i.e. the two promoted clubs.

Scotland won't be leaving the UK. When Scotland gains indepencence, there will be no UK (of Great Britain and Northern Ireland) it'll be a different political entity from what it is now, the UK will be broken into two pieces, Scotland and something else, the United States of the Kingdoms of England and Northern ireland and the Principality of Wales.

Quoted as saying he was "stupid" to pay the money. If there's one thing he isn't, it's stupid. £60 mill paid means he won't be in prison, so can earn that £60 mill back. He's also suggested they use the money to build an F1 track in Bavaria, so giving him another income stream to earn the money back. He's on a par with Blatter, just a bit less sleazy.

Moron Church, Glenburn

Are they going to put the water back on or is 15 inches (37.5cm for the weans) too dangerous? Water, I mean, water (OOOer missus, see me see giant condom jokes)

They played at our work's recent event in edinburgh, did a craking version of Joan Jett's "I love rock and roll". Have a look on YouTube. (that's have a look on YouTube, no' have a look on, Ya Tube)

Ah wid still "bump" Jenny Agutter

Slassh, ta, that's it. I assume the photo of 2/3rds of our managment team was taken at Penilee.

Watch oot fur the midges at Inveroran, worst I've ever experience, they're armed with more than teeth, I'm sure.

I was on BBC's website looking at pictures of the Baton's progress thorugh Renfrewshire when i potted a couple of familiar (ugly) faces WEARING BLUE!!!!! Does anybody recognise them? And can anybody tell me where the picture was taken featuring a big stone No Entry sign? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-scotland-28286349

a comb (tae go wi the toilet paper)?

Ireland vs Iceland? Take an R out of one and a C out of the other and they're exactly the same, leaving RC, the bigots up in Govan have missed a big chance for a conspiracy theory there.

Jim Goodwin's grandad?

Yes, indeed, just in time to coincide with the season of biting and stinging insects, a major food company has developed an insect repellant that removes the likelihood of pain, and puts pleasure in its place. It's an ice cream in a very popular flavour that guarantees to keep insects at bay, yes, an ice cream It's Waspaway Wipple

Anfield? Aintree, mair like.

You'll get it in the neck for that one.

http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/news/local/gordon-strachan-porto-alegre-just-like-arbroath-1.436472 You sure it's no in Brazil?

Cos a bite's what frustrated toddlers do when they are stopped from doing what they want, adults have a swing at someone, so by doing that he comes across as controllable as a terrible two-year old.

Are you saying Suarez is a vampire?

Balelike - is that no some sort of Greek/Russian guitar?

Pretty obvious from the pictures and Chiellini's reaction that old horse-teeth has done it gain. Given that it's his third offence in major games, God knows how many times he did it as a kid, how long should he get this time? 7 game ban at Ajax, 10 game ban at Liverpool. And should the ban be extended to club football, say a 20 game ban on all football?