Guest Joe Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 1. Sit on the pan for a good squat thrust and groan, then you realise there is no toilet paper 2. Telling someone you thought that a girl was an Fat Repulsive Ugly Bastârd before being told they are related to that person 3. Setting the video for one of your favourite programs then finding out you programmed the wrong feckin channel 4. Promising you would do something for someone after work then being too nackered to bother 5. Forgetting about a direct debit and being charged 28 feckin quid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 5. Forgetting about a direct debit and being charged 28 feckin quid 194640[/snapback] Isn't the whole point of a direct debit that you set it up at the bank and your payment is made so that you CAN foget about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Joe Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 Isn't the whole point of a direct debit that you set it up at the bank and your payment is made so that you CAN foget about it? 194670[/snapback] But if you don't have any readies in the feckin bank then you can't pay it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facepainter87 Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 But if you don't have any readies in the feckin bank then you can't pay it 194671[/snapback] That's your own fault then. Learn to budget. ps part of my job is recalling the payments and charging bad budgeters like you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 (edited) 1. Getting a job with Argyll & Bute Council. Ehm... that's about it... Oops, nearly forgot... 2. Asking a woman when the baby's due and being told she's not pregnant. Edited September 22, 2005 by Reidy1987 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facepainter87 Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 2. Asking a woman when the baby's due and being told she's not pregnant. 194773[/snapback] Did that one @ work last week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Joe Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 That's your own fault then. Learn to budget.ps part of my job is recalling the payments and charging bad budgeters like you 194762[/snapback] Thats the way the jobbie spatters You know how it is sometimes, too much month and not enough money left Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facepainter87 Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 (edited) 5. Forgetting about a direct debit and being charged 28 feckin quid 194640[/snapback] Your lucky it's only £28. In Barclays (where I work) ye get charged £30 and it's going up to £35 Edited September 22, 2005 by facepainter87 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northendsaint Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 Did that one @ work last week 194776[/snapback] Remember good one at St mirren dinner. Well known business man asks another well known businessmans wife if she is pregnant.She replies with purple face she is not.He says she must have eat too much.Reply was 1 pint of lager poured over him.Well worth the admission money.Names have been omitted to protect the identity of well known St Mirren director. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbie Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 1. On my very first day at work as a sales rep I had an excellent call in a DIY store and sold in loads of stock. I was so grateful by the end of the meeting that while I was doing the customary post meeting handshake I leaned forward and kissed the customer (female) on the cheek. I have absolutely no idea why I did it, and I had a reddy for about 3 hours after it. 2. Telling my mate that my sister had bought me a shite birthday present, while she was standing behind me. She'd saved up for about a month to buy it and burst into tears. That still cuts me up to this day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facepainter87 Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 1. On my very first day at work as a sales rep I had an excellent call in a DIY store and sold in loads of stock. I was so grateful by the end of the meeting that while I was doing the customary post meeting handshake I leaned forward and kissed the customer (female) on the cheek. I have absolutely no idea why I did it, and I had a reddy for about 3 hours after it. 194793[/snapback] I feel sorry for the customer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbie Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 I feel sorry for the customer 194796[/snapback] Bitch didn't even slip the tongue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Lees Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 Has nobody ever regretted pulling up the zipper on your flies a bit too quick ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 Has nobody ever regretted pulling up the zipper on your flies a bit too quick ? 194802[/snapback] ... or not at all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bud the Baker Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 Has nobody ever regretted pulling up the zipper on your flies a bit too quick ? 194802[/snapback] there's an Alice Cooper album Zipper Catches Skin..... Once, years ago, when attempting to chat up a girl she asked what school I went to and then if I knew a certain teacher. After trashing this teacher said girl told me that teacher was her mother............... Oh to be quick on the uptake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ST SID Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 Has nobody ever regretted pulling up the zipper on your flies a bit too quick ? 194802[/snapback] Bet you were embarrassed upon reaching A&E with the rent boy's tongue still caught. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted September 22, 2005 Report Share Posted September 22, 2005 Asking a woman when the baby's due and being told she's not pregnant. 194773[/snapback] Similar - but worse... Asking a pal on the bus to work if his pregnant wife 'had dropped it yet?' She had. That morning. A miscarriage. It gets no worse than that, I promise you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 Asking an old pal I had'nt seen for a couple of years how his wife was and did he fancy bringing her out for a swally. His answer, She died 6 weeks ago, where is a big hole in the ground when you need one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 1. I had a reddy for about 3 hours after it.2. Telling my mate that my sister had bought me a shite birthday present, while she was standing behind me. She'd saved up for about a month to buy it and burst into tears. That still cuts me up to this day. 194793[/snapback] You've always got a reddy and Wee Jane should have booted you in the Ali McGraws Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 Remember good one at St mirren dinner. Well known business man asks another well known businessmans wife if she is pregnant.She replies with purple face she is not.He says she must have eat too much.Reply was 1 pint of lager poured over him.Well worth the admission money.Names have been omitted to protect the identity of well known St Mirren director. 194781[/snapback] Go on then, Broonie, jist say who it was. We'll no' tell emdy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 (edited) That's your own fault then. Learn to budget.ps part of my job is recalling the payments and charging bad budgeters like you 194762[/snapback] Aye, yeez better be careful. Facepainter's witnessed the odd firearms incident or two. A nice wee brain soufflé on the front room windae of a nice big hoose in Whitecraigs, if I'm not mistaken, oh hallitosis sufferer? Edited September 23, 2005 by Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 Aye, yeez better be careful. Facepainter's witnessed the odd firearms incident or two. An nice wee brain soufflé on the front room windae of a nice big hoose in Whitecraigs, if I'm not mistaken, oh hallitosis sufferer? 194924[/snapback] A pedant would probably note that 'halitosis sufferer' really should be what one calls the innocent individual who is standing opposite the person who has the halitosis mooth. So let's clear this up, HHiBSS, who's got it? You or Facepainter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 A pedant would probably note that 'halitosis sufferer' really should be what one calls the innocent individual who is standing opposite the person who has the halitosis mooth.So let's clear this up, HHiBSS, who's got it? You or Facepainter? 194927[/snapback] Isn't Halitosis the bloke that runs Easyjet? So a Halitosis sufferer is anybody that flies Easyjet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 So let's clear this up, HHiBSS, who's got it? You or Facepainter? 194927[/snapback] Weeeeeeellll, let's just say it's not ME that doesn't need a blowtorch to melt tarmac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 (edited) I wish I hudny volunteered to do stand in safety rep, I've got to stay up for a meeting this morning Edited September 25, 2005 by North Sea Saint Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.