Bill Lees Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 1. He was that ugly as a baby that he was put in an incubator with tinted glass... 2. He was that ugly as a baby that the midwife slapped the wrong end ..... 3. She was that ugly as a baby that her Dad used to take her to work with him in the mornings so that he didn't have to kiss her goodbye...... 4. He was that ugly as a baby his mum used to hang pork chops round his neck just to get the dogs to play with him 5. .......... errr, that's it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 Bill Lees was that ugly as a child, Whacko Jacko let him sleep in his own bed.............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 That ugly that… The tears ran doon the back ae his heid. That she made Quasimodo boak. That she turned a sex offender celibate. That she gave Frankenstein nightmares That ugly his picture is over the fireplace to keep the kids away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suedehead Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 God gave him the ugliest mask he could find,..then fcuked it wae a shovel, Shes so ugly that it doesnae matter, cos you dont look at the mantlepiece...... If bongo can get away with 1 shite effort, I can get away with 2!..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollz Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 Chewin the fat: 'Oh my, thats one hell of an ugly baby' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reidy1987 Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 1. He was that ugly when he was born the midwife slapped his mother. 2. My mother in law is so ugly that when she comes to visit the mice throw themselves on the traps (courtesy of Les Dawson) 3. She's so ugly even NSS wouldn't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 Off track a tad............... My wife asked to be treated like a princess.............. So I drove her at high speed into the wall of a tunnel........................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 Off track a tad...............My wife asked to be treated like a princess.............. So I drove her at high speed into the wall of a tunnel........................ 205403[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbie Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 Stolen from somewhere... 1. She had very attractive eyes. The left one was so attractive the right one kept looking at it. 2. They say beauty is only skin deep but she's ugly to the bone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suedehead Posted November 1, 2005 Report Share Posted November 1, 2005 Off track a tad...............My wife asked to be treated like a princess.............. So I drove her at high speed into the wall of a tunnel........................ 205403[/snapback] off-track again,.....she said "Give me 12 inches and hurt me!".......... I shagged her twice and hit her with a brick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSS Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 (edited) Stolen from somewhere...1. She had very attractive eyes. The left one was so attractive the right one kept looking at it. 2. They say beauty is only skin deep but she's ugly to the bone. 205416[/snapback] 1.She was a red head.No hair,just a big red head. 2.She had bacteria problems.Everytime she cried,the tears ran down her back. Edited November 2, 2005 by HSS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 3. She's so ugly even NSS wouldn't 205397[/snapback] Aye he f'cken would Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I've never went bed with an ugly burd, but I've woke up with plenty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 Even the ugly burds need a bit of lovin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 I've never went bed with an ugly burd, but I've woke up with plenty 205526[/snapback] I have to assume most of you saw this when it was screened on scots tv, somewhere?? Chewin the Fat, I guess? Still brilliant! a wee video Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Joe Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 1. She's so fùcking ugly she's a modern art masterpiece 2. If beauty is skin deep she's inside out. 3. She has a face that would turn milk 4. She is so ugly that when she was young she had barb wire round her pram 5. She's so ugly the only time she looks normal is halloween night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windae cleaner Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 She was that ugly she could eat an apple through a tennis racket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes Posted November 2, 2005 Report Share Posted November 2, 2005 She doesnae need a straw tae drink a pint of milk through a letter box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted November 4, 2005 Report Share Posted November 4, 2005 From Joan Rivers: "WHEN I WAS BORN THE DOCTOR LOOKED AT ME AND THEN AT THE AFTERBIRTH AND TOLD MY MOTHER SHE'D HAD TWINS!" Toes curling, folks...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glittersnood Posted November 4, 2005 Report Share Posted November 4, 2005 She had a face like a bulldog licking piss of a nettle!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGAL1967 Posted November 4, 2005 Report Share Posted November 4, 2005 He was such an ugly baby his mother used to feed him with a catapult Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGAL1967 Posted November 4, 2005 Report Share Posted November 4, 2005 He had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 She had a face like a fish supper, it was full of chips Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbie Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 She had a face like a fish supper, it was full of chips 210504[/snapback] She had a face like a clumsy beekeeper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ped Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 He was such an ugly baby his mother used to feed him with a catapult 206524[/snapback] Nice one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.