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Top Five Cheats In Football


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Being a bit of a cynic and all ........lets roll : :wink:

1. The classic obstruction - put the ball past a player and run into him - guarantees a foul every time

2. The simple dive - look for some whiff of a contact and down you go - very annoying

3. The advanced dive - aka 'The trailing leg' - generally attributed to the founding father , Brian Laudrup - look for the defender committing to tackle and although you can easily clear the tackle ensure some contact is made - a bit risky sounding but really it is a very simply executed technique , recent exponents being McCann and several other Hearts players , also very well simulated by McDonald of Motherwell , being a midget helps in risk minimisation due to the low centre of gravity etc.

4. The fake assault - a classic example from last nights game - Boyd runs into a defender's shoulder and before you know it you are conning the crowd , commentators and team mates by rolling on the pitch holding the face

5. Reverse obstruction - where a defender will push, block , screen , hold back a forward from attempting to get to the ball ensuring the ball runs out for a goal kick

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The Rivaldo : When the ball is kicked towards you by an opposing player and hits on the thigh, fall to the ground clutching your face as if mortally wounded, then watch in satisfaction as the gullible ref red-cards your innocent opponent.

The Schumacher : Simply execute a violent assault on an advancing opponent, preventing a goal and enabling your side later to progress to winning a penalty shoot-out in which you play a large part. Chuckle in satisfaction as the ref shows you merely a yellow card.

Edited by Bill Lees
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The Rivaldo : When the ball is kicked towards you by an opposing player and hits on the thigh, fall to the ground clutching your face as if mortally wounded, then watch in satisfaction as the gullible ref red-cards your innocent opponent.

The Schumacher : Simply execute a violent assault on an advancing opponent, preventing a goal and enabling your side later to progress to winning a penalty shoot-out in which you play a large part. Chuckle in satisfaction as the ref shows you merely a yellow card.

The Nakamura.

When running at speed into the box...wait until an opposition player is level with you,and you are blind side of the referee...then throw yourself in the opposite direction and fall dramatically.Sure fire penalty.

Wee bastard does it all the time. :angry:

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The Defender Caught Out Of Position:

The big defenders are up for a corner kick and the ball breaks to to the edge of the box and the defending team are suddenly on the attack in numbers. The defender, hopelessly out of position, simply up ends the player with the ball and a free kick is given jsut outside the 18 yard box. The defender then trots back up to his position and there is no danger and not even a yellow card despite it being as much of a professional foul as a last man foul.

Edited by Thorizaar
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The Henrik Larsson...

Whenever someone tugs even slightly at your shirt, it takes the power away from your legs and somehow makes you fall!

For such a great player, he ruined it all by being a diving bastard, yet the media never picked up on it because they were always too busy kissing his arse...

:angry:

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one guy that sticks in my mind was that prick who played for dundee utd .....tom brown tackled him (fairly in my mind) and he rolled all over the pitch as if he had just been shot ....THEN....the bastard while on the ground...looked up to the north bank and started laughing.....then started rolling about again...cheating bastard...can remember the whole of the north bank almost running onto the pitch that night and lynching him. :angry:

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one guy that sticks in my mind was that prick who played for dundee utd .....tom brown tackled him (fairly in my mind) and he rolled all over the pitch as if he had just been shot ....THEN....the bastard while on the ground...looked up to the north bank and started laughing.....then started rolling about again...cheating bastard...can remember the whole of the north bank almost running onto the pitch that night and lynching him. :angry:

Hasny Aljofree.

He scored a late penalty for Plymouth at Peterborough in the FA cup recently. Clearly delighted,he tried a f*ckwitted,noise up celebration in front of the home fans.

He didn't bargain on someone taking exception to it and lobbing a bottle at him. :lol:

He then spat the dummy and squared up to the whole Peterborough support. :lol:

The comedy continued when Peterborough equalised a couple of minutes later.

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