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Top 5 Things You'd Like To Go Back In Time And Do


EL NOMBRE
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1/ Wipe a big bogey on the back of the Mona Lisa.....and baffle the boffins as they try and DNA it to see if it was a genuine Leonardo.

2/ Go back in time and swap the ten commandments for a new set of your own....see how Christianity turns out.

3/ Change the royal bloodline to Icke.....and then accuse David of being a big lizard

4/ Advise Brother Walfrid that sports isane the way to go.....and set up a soup kitchen instead.

5/ Hide Pickles......and the Russian linesman

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1: Stopped Aberdeen poaching Fergie

2: Insisted Dooleys bike shop had more Choppers instead of accepting a Grifter for xmas '81

3: Put a bomb under a Grantham grocers shop the day a certain female child was born.

4: Joined the California Highway Patrol

5: Found the money to save Paisley Harriers Athletic Club, in order to continue pursuing that other career option.

And top 5 historical "do's"

1: Cleopatra

2: Rita Hayworth

3: Maureen O' Hara

4: Miss Young (primary 4-7)

5: The lass that worked in Aulds, Glasgow Road circa 1990.

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1. Marilyn Munroe

2. Jane Russell

3. Gina Lolobrigida

4. Sophia Loren

5. Cyd Charrise.......and then some! :P

Lets see , how about 5 or so of Rod Stewarts wags then

Britt Ekland , must have been a right good looker in her day - found this , no bad for a pensioner post-3667-1188391609_thumb.jpg

Kelly Emberg hmm

Rachel Hunter, lovely

Alana Hamilton

Penny Lancaster

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1. Not got so drunk on a school trip to France, that I don't remember a thing about getting a bj off the most sought after chick in the class. Gutted. :(

2. Booked the lad's weekend trip to Benidorm for the week after the Motherwell game.

3. Not accidentally booked 10 of the lads into a gay hotel in Dublin. :lol:

4. Cut the brake pipes on Tokeley's motor.

5. Taken my old best mate out to the pub the night he accidentally killed himself. :(

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Aye........................... ya fanny :lol:

Funny as fúck that wan. Was that the Inn on the Liffey or the Out on the Liffey? The one with the sailor's suit painted over the door, as if that wisnae clue enough. :lol:

Edited by Howard Hughes in BlueSuedeShoes
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1. Told Campbell Money to take his time with a bye-kick one Wednesday night in early November 1985.

2. Told Billy Thomson that when Peter Weir hits it with his right foot that’s the time to keep your legs closed.

3. Phoned Brian McGinlay to tell him that the semi-final replay had been postponed then got my dad to do the refereeing.

4. Told that useless big ex-Neilsonian bastard McLeish that when the ball goes squirming across the face of an empty goal and you see a Brazilian running towards it, chances are you should be there too so that you can knock it out for a shy, they won’t score, we’ll get a draw and we can actually qualify for the next bastardin’ round of the World Cup, ya big numpty!

5. Murrayfield, October 1991; “GAVIN! KICK IT LEFT A BIT!!!!â€

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1. Told Campbell Money to take his time with a bye-kick one Wednesday night in early November 1985.

2. Told Billy Thomson that when Peter Weir hits it with his right foot that’s the time to keep your legs closed.

3. Phoned Brian McGinlay to tell him that the semi-final replay had been postponed then got my dad to do the refereeing.

4. Told that useless big ex-Neilsonian bastard McLeish that when the ball goes squirming across the face of an empty goal and you see a Brazilian running towards it, chances are you should be there too so that you can knock it out for a shy, they won’t score, we’ll get a draw and we can actually qualify for the next bastardin’ round of the World Cup, ya big numpty!

5. Murrayfield, October 1991; “GAVIN! KICK IT LEFT A BIT!!!!â€

No5 takes HHIBSS' fannyometer up a level............................

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Funny as fúck that wan. Was that the Inn on the Liffey or the Out on the Liffey? The one with the sailor's suit painted over the door, as if that wisnae clue enough. :lol:

That's the fella. :rolleyes:

I'll never forget Danny's words to the receptionist as long as I live.

"There's been a terrible, terrible mistake!"

:lol:

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4. Told that useless big ex-Neilsonian bastard McLeish that when the ball goes squirming across the face of an empty goal and you see a Brazilian running towards it, chances are you should be there too so that you can knock it out for a shy, they won’t score, we’ll get a draw and we can actually qualify for the next bastardin’ round of the World Cup, ya big numpty!

Hey You!!!! Don't diss Nulsin.

McLeish is fae Borrheid!

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Hey You!!!! Don't diss Nulsin.

McLeish is fae Borrheid!

I think you'll find that yon wee place near Borrheid is Neilston not Neilson. I refer to the school at which big Eck was in attendance for a couple of years before fame was thrust onto his ginger heid. The school was the John Neilson. One or two are former pupils of that fine establishment. We are known as "ex-Neilsonians". Hope this helps.

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I think you'll find that yon wee place near Borrheid is Neilston not Neilson. I refer to the school at which big Eck was in attendance for a couple of years before fame was thrust onto his ginger heid. The school was the John Neilson. One or two are former pupils of that fine establishment. We are known as "ex-Neilsonians". Hope this helps.

Helps a great deal, thanks for that.

I think you'll find that I said Nulson not Neilson. Nulson is how people from the village refer to it, and seein as that is where I was born and bred, I kinda know how to spell it.

Thank you for sharing your vast intellect, and not-at-all patronising mannerisms.

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1. Remove the main fuse from the Tardis so Dr.Who cannae go back and fourth in time :P

2. Be in an onside position just in front of Gordon Banks to deflect the ball into the net to stop they Engl*sh tossers going on and on about "that save" :)

3. Shoot the milky bar kid. The song went "The milky bar kid is strong and tough" yeah right! He's a 6st weakling!!! He's rough, he's tough, he's somethingelse that rhymes with...UFF!

4. Every Saints goal that was ruled offside or for fouling to stand :rolleyes:

5. Take that woman in the "shake 'n' vac" commercial by the hand and lead her onto the dancefloor at Toledo Junction/Viennas/Club Slapper...and let her do her stuff! :P

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