jimdickloyal Posted August 20, 2006 Report Share Posted August 20, 2006 1) caught masturbating by Granny 2) Shitting ones self on holiday in Benidorm 3) When your drunk and you think your invisible and you fire into the ugliest burd in Viennas ach thats all I can think of! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 1) caught masturbating by Granny Ya wanker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Lees Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 Foreskin caught in trousers zip. Although to be fair, the excruciating pain does pretty much over-ride any embarassment factor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 Foreskin caught in trousers zip. Although to be fair, the excruciating pain does pretty much over-ride any embarassment factor. You're not one of the Tel Aviv Lees then..................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 The Weans wanting summat to eat at Sports Catering and i've only got £20 in my pocket Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted August 22, 2006 Report Share Posted August 22, 2006 Foreskin caught in trousers zip. Although to be fair, the excruciating pain does pretty much over-ride any embarassment factor. No funny, I done that years ago oan a pair of wranglers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rothesay Saint Posted August 22, 2006 Report Share Posted August 22, 2006 1) caught masturbating by Granny 2) Shitting ones self on holiday in Benidorm 3) When your drunk and you think your invisible and you fire into the ugliest burd in Viennas ach thats all I can think of! Surely your username qualifies as number 4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur Posted August 22, 2006 Report Share Posted August 22, 2006 I done that years ago oan a pair of wranglers Is that another name for offshore roustabouts, Wullie ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur Posted August 22, 2006 Report Share Posted August 22, 2006 2) Shitting ones self on holiday in Benidorm Massively embarrassing. It takes a brave man to admit publicly that you went to Benidorm on holiday, Dougie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chingford Posted August 22, 2006 Report Share Posted August 22, 2006 Massively embarrassing. It takes a brave man to admit publicly that you went to Benidorm on holiday, Dougie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSS Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 Catching Bill Lees' foreskin in the zip of my jeans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southside saint Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 Having a chronic bowel evacuation on an x-ray table four weeks ago and having to hobble 400 yards to the toilet with ripped ankle ligaments, keech running down my legs, past the waiting area in the Victoria Infirmary which was populated by around 20 people. Then, having reached the sanctuary of the toilet cubicle and got cleaned up, having to dump my boxers in a bin in full view of the staff nurse. Then, having to hobble all the way back with stains on my jeans and resume position on the x-ray table. Yep, hard to imagine I'm going to top that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 Having a chronic bowel evacuation on an x-ray table four weeks ago and having to hobble 400 yards to the toilet with ripped ankle ligaments, keech running down my legs, past the waiting area in the Victoria Infirmary which was populated by around 20 people. Then, having reached the sanctuary of the toilet cubicle and got cleaned up, having to dump my boxers in a bin in full view of the staff nurse. Then, having to hobble all the way back with stains on my jeans and resume position on the x-ray table. Yep, hard to imagine I'm going to top that one. We really didn't need to know but fair play for your honesty/daftiness............... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennant's Lager Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 (edited) Having a chronic bowel evacuation on an x-ray table four weeks ago and having to hobble 400 yards to the toilet with ripped ankle ligaments, keech running down my legs, past the waiting area in the Victoria Infirmary which was populated by around 20 people. Then, having reached the sanctuary of the toilet cubicle and got cleaned up, having to dump my boxers in a bin in full view of the staff nurse. Then, having to hobble all the way back with stains on my jeans and resume position on the x-ray table. Yep, hard to imagine I'm going to top that one. What's more embarrassing? That happening to you or putting it on here for the dafties to point and laugh at you about it? Indeed though, respect for your honesty.......... Edited August 23, 2006 by Tennant's Lager Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckfast crew Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 1.Farting in a lift on the 12th floor and then 2 tidy women enter at the 10th. 2.Getting to gretna and yer dad asking to see the tickets and you realise you left them at home 1hr before kick off.{talked my way in} 3.Ordering a round and forgetting you havent brought yer wallet out 4.getting caught on the job by yer maw in law 5.If spartans had beat us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southside saint Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 What's more embarrassing? That happening to you or putting it on here for the dafties to point and laugh at you about it? Indeed though, respect for your honesty.......... Yep TL, you can point and laugh. Like I'd give a fcuk. You on the other hand have to live with being you each day. Not sure how I'd cope with that amount of getting laughed at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EL NOMBRE Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 Yep TL, you can point and laugh. Like I'd give a fcuk. You on the other hand have to live with being you each day. Not sure how I'd cope with that amount of getting laughed at. A rather witty rejoinder I thought! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennant's Lager Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 Yep TL, you can point and laugh. Like I'd give a fcuk. You on the other hand have to live with being you each day. Not sure how I'd cope with that amount of getting laughed at. I laugh at myself on a regular basis............. I just laugh at others even more.............................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 Is that another name for offshore roustabouts, Wullie ? How, ye want a job Derek Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Joe Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 1.Farting in a lift on the 12th floor and then 2 tidy women enter at the 10th. 2.Getting to gretna and yer dad asking to see the tickets and you realise you left them at home 1hr before kick off.{talked my way in} 3.Ordering a round and forgetting you havent brought yer wallet out 4.getting caught on the job by yer maw in law 5.If spartans had beat us When you get to a certain age, you learn not to trust every fart! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur Posted August 25, 2006 Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 How, ye want a job Derek No thanks Wullie, that must be the second worst job in the world. Dry cleaning Bill Lees' curtains would be the worst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted August 26, 2006 Report Share Posted August 26, 2006 No thanks Wullie, that must be the second worst job in the world. Dry cleaning Bill Lees' curtains would be the worst. Its great oot here, you couldnae buy ma joab Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted August 26, 2006 Report Share Posted August 26, 2006 When you get to a certain age, you learn not to trust every fart! VERY F'CKEN TRUE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windae cleaner Posted August 26, 2006 Report Share Posted August 26, 2006 Done plenty when drunk but sober two stand out. 1. Scoring a 40 yard own goal in a cup final to put it into extra time 2. Working in a kitchen when i was younger. There was ugly ginger spec wearing wumin kept walking by the window in the bit i was working in. Kept on stareing in and i shouted out loud. "Who is that ugly speccy tart looking at". A voice pipes up at the back of me " Thats ma wife ye wee cnut" it was my head chef. Never faniced being a chef anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Sea Saint Posted August 27, 2006 Report Share Posted August 27, 2006 Done plenty when drunk but sober two stand out. 1. Scoring a 40 yard own goal in a cup final to put it into extra time 2. Working in a kitchen when i was younger. There was ugly ginger spec wearing wumin kept walking by the window in the bit i was working in. Kept on stareing in and i shouted out loud. "Who is that ugly speccy tart looking at". A voice pipes up at the back of me " Thats ma wife ye wee cnut" it was my head chef. Never faniced being a chef anyway Whits wrang wi being a Chef, ya cheeky cnut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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