Gardeners Corner

[LeithBuddie]

Clearly a work in progress, but you get the idea (BTW, does anyone have a spare beer fridge lying around..?)

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That is top quality, mate!! Please tell me it's got a plasma telly and beer on tap in there!!

[Drew]

That is top quality, mate!! Please tell me it's got a plasma telly and beer on tap in there!!

I'm getting there. It has been a bit neglected due to me having the MAN FLU, but I'll shortly be sorting out the electricity feed then sourcing some top quality entertainment facilities (from local skips, Freecycle and such like) - assuming I don't blow myself up while installing the electrics. I've got a set of optics in the loft, and intend to build a bar area to split the lounge section of the shed from the manly workshop area.

[E=Mc2]

Clearly a work in progress, but you get the idea (BTW, does anyone have a spare beer fridge lying around..?)

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What's the opening times?

How much to get in?

Is there a tour guide?

Do you have those headphones that transmit different languages?

[LeithBuddie]

The bloke three doors down from me did something similar and turned his shed into a pub with bar stools and taps. Sounds great but he's never once invited me round for a drink - that's Leith for ye.

Then again, when he gets pissed all I can hear are bloody rebel songs so I don't know what I'm complaining about really!

Yer doing great work dude - be good to see the pics when it's done. Just don't blow yersel up before it's finished! :-)

[Drew]

What's the opening times?

How much to get in?

Is there a tour guide?

Do you have those headphones that transmit different languages?

Admission free, pay at the door

Soft seats, sit on the floor!

The bloke three doors down from me did something similar and turned his shed into a pub with bar stools and taps. Sounds great but he's never once invited me round for a drink - that's Leith for ye.

Then again, when he gets pissed all I can hear are bloody rebel songs so I don't know what I'm complaining about really!

Yer doing great work dude - be good to see the pics when it's done. Just don't blow yersel up before it's finished! :-)

Cheers Bud. I'll be sorting out a TV and DVD, and all that my neighbours will hear is me sniffing and blowing my nose while I watch the Cup DVD through a mist of tears (again).

The intention is to pick bits and pieces up here and there. I want my new domain to evolve over time. No walk-in condition for me, this is a labour of love.

I'll post pics as it develops.

[Guest somner9]

I was out in the garden last night, dibber in hand when my neighbour Crawford came running into my garden in an absolute panic.

"Crawford you're panting rather heavily, did you struggle witht the uphill bit there?"

"No Somner I need to borrow a tub of Marg now..!"

"you following a great bake-off recipe?"

"No nothing like that, I was walking through the park with a few friends when we came across a poor chap with his head stuck between the railings. we all took turns pushing, pulling and trying to drive him through, but the more we persisted, the more he screamed, and the harder it was to squeeze anything through."

"Ah-ha a tub of marg to smear round his neck and head! Good thinking Crawford, i've got a tub of stork that should help get him free!"

As i handed my slightly out of date tub of stork to Crawford he shook his head and with a devilish smile said: "Oh Somner... who said anything about freeing him!"

[Seaside Nipper]

Clearly a work in progress, but you get the idea (BTW, does anyone have a spare beer fridge lying around..?)

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oh yes...........

I think I am more in awe of the fact that Mrs Drew let you away with that.

Have you made up a dress code and rule book for the establishment yet.

Clearly mucky wellies are a serious no go

[saintnextlifetime]

I was out in the garden last night, dibber in hand when my neighbour Crawford came running into my garden in an absolute panic.

"Crawford you're panting rather heavily, did you struggle witht the uphill bit there?"

"No Somner I need to borrow a tub of Marg now..!"

"you following a great bake-off recipe?"

"No nothing like that, I was walking through the park with a few friends when we came across a poor chap with his head stuck between the railings. we all took turns pushing, pulling and trying to drive him through, but the more we persisted, the more he screamed, and the harder it was to squeeze anything through."

"Ah-ha a tub of marg to smear round his neck and head! Good thinking Crawford, i've got a tub of stork that should help get him free!"

As i handed my slightly out of date tub of stork to Crawford he shook his head and with a devilish smile said: "Oh Somner... who said anything about freeing him!"

Is it a big dibber you have. .

[Drew]

Great piccys on the wall there, Drew, all you need now is one of Cav' rounding the Place de la Concorde on his way to winning the final stage in Paris. .

Nearly....

Edited June 6, 2013 by Drew

[Drew]

oh yes...........

I think I am more in awe of the fact that Mrs Drew let you away with that.

Have you made up a dress code and rule book for the establishment yet.

Clearly mucky wellies are a serious no go

I'm still bewildered about that too, to be honest.

As you say, clearly no muddy boots, and absolutely to OF colours.

ETA: when the shed man delivered and erected my new domain, he commented that he was a bit surprised that I hadn't opted for the increased height option. I looked at him aghast and asked if he had noticed how much of a short arse I am. FFS, one of the reasons for keeping the height comparatively low was so I could appear manly and dominant in my new shed, as is befitting its purpose, after all. Suffice to say, I am under no illusions that this isn't compensating for something....

Edited June 6, 2013 by Drew

[RickMcD]

I'm still bewildered about that too, to be honest.

As you say, clearly no muddy boots, and absolutely to OF colours.

ETA: when the shed man delivered and erected my new domain, he commented that he was a bit surprised that I hadn't opted for the increased height option. I looked at him aghast and asked if he had noticed how much of a short arse I am. FFS, one of the reasons for keeping the height comparatively low was so I could appear manly and dominant in my new shed, as is befitting its purpose, after all. Suffice to say, I am under no illusions that this isn't compensating for something....

Maybe you should be worried more than bewildered. Could Mrs.D be glad to see the back of you? If she installs a camp bed and a wee portable potty in the corner, make a bolt for the back door in case she's changed the locks. OR, get the power fixed up, get a shower fixed up and a stove, Could be great for you. And get a wee intercom system going. If you fancy a bit of the old nuptials give her a bell. She'll think it's worth while if it keeps out back.

[Jocky]

Ok, wee progress pics for greenhouse.

Finally planted some leeks, turnips and lettuce in planter.

..............and new garage door on order.

[buddiecat]

I was out in the garden last night, dibber in hand when my neighbour Crawford came running into my garden in an absolute panic.

"Crawford you're panting rather heavily, did you struggle witht the uphill bit there?"

"No Somner I need to borrow a tub of Marg now..!"

"you following a great bake-off recipe?"

"No nothing like that, I was walking through the park with a few friends when we came across a poor chap with his head stuck between the railings. we all took turns pushing, pulling and trying to drive him through, but the more we persisted, the more he screamed, and the harder it was to squeeze anything through."

"Ah-ha a tub of marg to smear round his neck and head! Good thinking Crawford, i've got a tub of stork that should help get him free!"

As i handed my slightly out of date tub of stork to Crawford he shook his head and with a devilish smile said: "Oh Somner... who said anything about freeing him!"

interesting update there somner, i''l give you one also - remember miss tupper - my neighbour who was surprised and shocked to find me with a pole in my back garden - well she has come again to my rescue, (she previously helped with my rimming problem you'll recall) my pond is now overflowing and my guppies are being sucked up by several local birds, i asked her advice on what form of protection she used in the past, (she previously had a much admired and well used back garden feature) off she went and returned with said protection - i thought it odd that she still had old used ones since her own back door feature has long since been well and truly filled in and has dried up. anyway i reached over and grabbed hold of the pair of them, i immediately noticed they smelled strongly of fish and declined her offer, she said she'd go and wash them then come back and let me sniff them before thrusting them in my face again.

Next day i was very anxious as some local birds had been round the previous night and had gobbled my prized posessions, i shouted over the fence "hello ! hello ! let me get this right tupper, i thought you said i could sniff your fishnets today" i got no reply - only an odd look from mr strapp - who is the guy who looks into miss tuppers back garden, he said something about fuzz being around tuppers back garden, i was more concerned about peckers to ask what he was on about,

I went upstairs to my loft and got my telescope out and gave it a good hard rub then pointed it towards miss tuppers back garden, i spotted that miss tupper had indeed washed them and had laid them out for me on her flower bed, but they had got a bit wrinkled,i went off to have a sniff at them and see if they had dried up , but just as i had breached tuppers rear defences i was distracted by a prod (in my own rear garden i might add) from a rather large truncheon.

i had been grabbed by the fuzz. "Whats going on here" said P C filcher, "i'm only trying to get into my neighbour and spread her fishnets on the bed" i said. he was not having it and said jock strapp was the problem, having reported me as coming over the fence and attempting to get to tuppers bed.

I'm now in milf street awaiting a hard probing by the judge

[Guest somner9]

interesting update there somner, i''l give you one also - remember miss tupper - my neighbour who was surprised and shocked to find me with a pole in my back garden - well she has come again to my rescue, (she previously helped with my rimming problem you'll recall) my pond is now overflowing and my guppies are being sucked up by several local birds, i asked her advice on what form of protection she used in the past, (she previously had a much admired and well used back garden feature) off she went and returned with said protection - i thought it odd that she still had old used ones since her own back door feature has long since been well and truly filled in and has dried up. anyway i reached over and grabbed hold of the pair of them, i immediately noticed they smelled strongly of fish and declined her offer, she said she'd go and wash them then come back and let me sniff them before thrusting them in my face again.

Next day i was very anxious as some local birds had been round the previous night and had gobbled my prized posessions, i shouted over the fence "hello ! hello ! let me get this right tupper, i thought you said i could sniff your fishnets today" i got no reply - only an odd look from mr strapp - who is the guy who looks into miss tuppers back garden, he said something about fuzz being around tuppers back garden, i was more concerned about peckers to ask what he was on about,

I went upstairs to my loft and got my telescope out and gave it a good hard rub then pointed it towards miss tuppers back garden, i spotted that miss tupper had indeed washed them and had laid them out for me on her flower bed, but they had got a bit wrinkled,i went off to have a sniff at them and see if they had dried up , but just as i had breached tuppers rear defences i was distracted by a prod (in my own rear garden i might add) from a rather large truncheon.

i had been grabbed by the fuzz. "Whats going on here" said P C filcher, "i'm only trying to get into my neighbour and spread her fishnets on the bed" i said. he was not having it and said jock strapp was the problem, having reported me as coming over the fence and attempting to get to tuppers bed.

I'm now in milf street awaiting a hard probing by the judge

It's not nice being grabbed by the fuzz, less so being pulled over in a lay-by. I can recommend an excellent solicitor who gets people off with consumate ease! He's no spring chicken, and some of his mannerisms are a little dry but if you can afford him I'd recommend getting onto Chris Peacock!

You'll need to oil the old bugger up a bit first, but once he's sufficently lubricated there's noone like Chris Peacock to bore through the red tape, and make sure you are well back-filled with all the legal jargon. When he was based at Rosyth I've seen him handle no end of seaman.

[Eddy]

Ok, wee progress pics for greenhouse.

Finally planted some leeks, turnips and lettuce in planter.

..............and new garage door on order.

IMG_3393.JPG IMG_3394.JPG

I hope you've bolted it down jocky, or first decent gust of wind you'll be looking for a new one.

[Jocky]

I hope you've bolted it down jocky, or first decent gust of wind you'll be looking for a new one.

Eddy, its plugged and screw fixed internally around the perimeter to the slabs. If the greenhouse goes, the adjacent garage will be offski too!!

[Seaside Nipper]

Ok, wee progress pics for greenhouse.

Finally planted some leeks, turnips and lettuce in planter.

..............and new garage door on order.

IMG_3393.JPGIMG_3394.JPG

That is a handsome piece of work.........................

[Guest somner9]

My neighbour Crawford was toiling in his garden yesterday after B&Q delivered a DIY shed. I asked what the problem was and could i assist.

"Crawford..! you alright fella? are you missing something?"

"well it looks like we may be in for a downpour, so i really need to get felt ASAP"

"can't help you with that Crawford, what about some hands-on assistance?"

he looked at a bent nail on the shed base before replying

"great just let me keel down here to grab my wood and bang one out, if you fancy you could get going with the tongue and groove!"

[beyond our ken]

My neighbour Crawford was toiling in his garden yesterday after B&Q delivered a DIY shed. I asked what the problem was and could i assist.

"Crawford..! you alright fella? are you missing something?"

"well it looks like we may be in for a downpour, so i really need to get felt ASAP"

"can't help you with that Crawford, what about some hands-on assistance?"

he looked at a bent nail on the shed base before replying

"great just let me keel down here to grab my wood and bang one out, if you fancy you could get going with the tongue and groove!"

Tongue & Groove ? I would have thought a spot of dovetailing was more appropriate

[Guest somner9]

Tongue & Groove ? I would have thought a spot of dovetailing was more appropriate

Crawford said he's tried that, but the chippy he got in couldn't get the size/shape ofwood Crawford was after and his attempts at dovetailing Crawford proved frustrating everytime he slipped out.

[beyond our ken]

Crawford said he's tried that, but the chippy he got in couldn't get the size/shape ofwood Crawford was after and his attempts at dovetailing Crawford proved frustrating everytime he slipped out.

See that's the problem with a dove-tail. Unless the end that goes in is thicker than the rest it is very prone to slippage. You could be rattling in and out all day and never get a good bonding

Has he thought about a good long screw into a butt-joint?

[BuddyHolly9]

Any tips on what to do with a lawn that is mostly moss and dandelions. I tried applying the aftercut granules but that was 2 weeks ago and the dandelions are still there, it did kill some of the moss but not all of it.

Cheers.

Edited June 19, 2013 by BuddyHolly9

[Drew]

Any tips on what to do with a lawn that is mostly moss and dandelions. I tried applying the aftercut granules but that was 2 weeks ago and the dandelions are still there, it did kill some of the moss but not all of it.

Cheers.

I don't do lawns (a bit prissy and too much like hard work), but I reckon you might have to get done on all fours (MATRON!) and dig the dandies out. They are tenacious feckers.

[beyond our ken]

Any tips on what to do with a lawn that is mostly moss and dandelions. I tried applying the aftercut granules but that was 2 weeks ago and the dandelions are still there, it did kill some of the moss but not all of it.

Cheers.

The only way to deal with a stubborn weed is to buy a nice trumpet

Then you go into the garden and roo-ti-toot

[insaintee]

Any tips on what to do with a lawn that is mostly moss and dandelions. I tried applying the aftercut granules but that was 2 weeks ago and the dandelions are still there, it did kill some of the moss but not all of it.

Cheers.

Have a picknick!