Pepé Le Pew 191 Report post Posted November 14, 2017 I was out at Dobbies Garden Centre at the weekend and I think I saw Michael J Fox at the flowers section. I couldn't be sure though as he had his back to the Fuchsias... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
saintnextlifetime 5,730 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 My uncle used to be a taxi driver , he used to leave home without indicating. . 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slartibartfast 7,845 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 Went onto the Scottish Slimmers website the other day and got confused when it asked me if I wanted to accept cookies. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slartibartfast 7,845 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 Mickey Mouse's helicopter has got a problem. It Disneyland. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shull 29,766 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric Arthur Blair 5,623 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 My uncle was a ventriloquist. When I was a boy he'd often stick his fist up my arse then tell me not to say anything. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slartibartfast 7,845 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 I went on a pub crawl and the weekend. I walked into a bar and ended up with a black eye. It was an iron bar. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slartibartfast 7,845 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 Agreed, because he'll make it a totally unfunny thread. That's some fortune telling - check his new thread title. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric Arthur Blair 5,623 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 A jump lead goes into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you but you better not start anything". 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric Arthur Blair 5,623 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic? He choked to death on his own vimto. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric Arthur Blair 5,623 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 A poof goes into a butchers and asks "Can I have a mince round?". The butcher says "aye, feel free". 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TediousTom 3,682 Report post Posted November 15, 2017 ADIS Don't die of dyslexia 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
saintnextlifetime 5,730 Report post Posted November 16, 2017 I hear there is a new deli. . . .in India. . 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shull 29,766 Report post Posted November 20, 2017 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sgt Schultz 79 Report post Posted November 20, 2017 What about the dyslexic pimp that bought a warehouse. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BaldyOzBud 1,426 Report post Posted November 21, 2017 4 hours ago, Sgt Schultz said: What about the dyslexic pimp that bought a warehouse. Or the Dyslexic devil worshiper that sold his soul to Santa. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pepé Le Pew 191 Report post Posted November 23, 2017 How do you define 144 Morton fans? - Gross Stupidity 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TPAFKATS 7,803 Report post Posted November 23, 2017 How do you define 144 Morton fans? - Gross Stupidity Due to the "offensive" nature of your post, you are hereby banned from posting on this thread until the end of the season. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DougJamie 6,647 Report post Posted November 23, 2017 About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road." How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she's pregnant. 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pepé Le Pew 191 Report post Posted November 23, 2017 A pirate goes to the doctor to get the moles checked on his back. The doctor says, "There's nothing to worry about, they're benign." The pirate looks at him surprised and says... "Shiver me timbers! When I spied them in me looking glass this morning, there be only 3!" 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shull 29,766 Report post Posted November 25, 2017 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shull 29,766 Report post Posted November 28, 2017 5 minutes ago, faraway saint said: Why is it only the subs are getting paid? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HSS 11,162 Report post Posted December 4, 2017 I went for a job interview at a Blacksmiths. The guy asked me if I had any experience shoeing horses. I said no but I once told a donkey to f**k off. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HSS 11,162 Report post Posted December 4, 2017 I never got the job. 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TPAFKATS 7,803 Report post Posted December 4, 2017 I went for a job interview at a Blacksmiths. The guy asked me if I had any experience shoeing horses. I said no but I once told a donkey to f**k off. That's been about for donkey's 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
